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Ending your breastfeeding journey: some approaches to parent-led weaning

May 28, 2023

Emma Pickett IBCLC

Making the decision to end breastfeeding

Breastfeeding support is all about helping you to breastfeed for as long as you want to. We want families to reach their breastfeeding goals, and that means Breastfeeding Supporters are here for parents at the end of their breastfeeding experience, as well as at the start. Some families want to breastfeed for years. Some want to for months or weeks. If you are able to make the decision with the right information and feeling supported, we have done our job.

We want to make sure that you make the decision to end breastfeeding in a way that you will have peace with in the future. If you are struggling with breastfeeding, it may be that the right support can resolve issues and you can continue breastfeeding happily. We would want all avenues to be explored if the idea of ending breastfeeding is an unhappy one.

Are you hoping that ending breastfeeding might improve your child’s sleep? It’s important that parents understand what’s normal when it comes to how babies sleep: “No difference in night wakings or night feeds was found between mothers who were currently breastfeeding or formula feeding … Breastfeeding has no impact on infant sleep in the second 6 months postpartum.” (Brown and Harries 2015)

You might have been told you have to end breastfeeding to take a medication and the Drugs in Breastmilk Information Service can provide evidence-based information on the compatibility of breastfeeding and medications. Sadly, parents are often misinformed.

It can be valuable for you to talk through your decision to end breastfeeding before starting the process. A breastfeeding supporter can help you reflect on your decision, as well as help you take some practical steps to get the process started. Every family’s journey will be different because every child and parent’s relationship to the breast is different. There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to ending breastfeeding. In some families, the breast is at the heart of parenting. A mother might breastfeed throughout the night and day to meet her child’s emotional needs in a host of different ways. In other families, a child might be feeding a couple of times a day, and even then, only when offered. You can see those families will have very different experiences around the weaning process. However, there are some general guidelines about starting the transition to ending breastfeeding.

Weaning under 12 months

If your baby under 12 months is ending breastfeeding, their nutritional requirements will obviously need to be the highest priority. A baby of around 7–9 months who is taking solid food reliably will still need around 600 ml (20 oz) of formula in 24 hours (NHS Better Health Start for Life 2023). From around 10–12 months, if we can assume that solids have become more established, we’re expecting still around 400 ml (13 oz) of formula in 24 hours. If a young baby is feeding roughly eight times in 24 hours (it could easily be more), then we would start by looking at the formula total needed over 24 hours and dividing by eight. If day one means one bottle of 30 ml of formula at some point in the day (perhaps before a breastfeed), when everyone is in a good mood, that is a good place to start. If that volume increases gradually until one feed is entirely with the bottle, we might then pause for a couple of days to let breasts adjust and to consider next steps. Dropping one breastfeed no faster than every three days feels sensible to reduce the risk of breast health problems.

What kind of bottle is best? Parents often get pulled down a rabbit hole when it comes to this question. If a family is ending breastfeeding, we have less need to consider which bottle is protective of breastfeeding. There is not one ‘best’ bottle. We are looking for the bottle which is affordable, easy to buy where a family lives and with replaceable teats that are also easy to find.

What about choosing the type of formula? Any ‘First’ formula is appropriate and babies do not need ‘follow-on’ formula.

“All infant formula have to be of a similar composition to comply with UK compositional requirements and all brands are nutritionally adequate for infants. If a substance was found that was definitely beneficial for infant health that could be added to infant formula, it would be in all infant formula by law.” (First Steps Nutrition Trust 2021)

After 12 months, full fat cow’s milk can be given as a main drink. With a younger baby, giving milk in a bottle is likely to be a first choice. We want all bottle feeding parents to be confident with a technique known as responsive bottle feeding (sometimes referred to as paced bottle feeding) which can help the feed to be a time for connection and communication and reduce the risk of over-eating. However, the NHS recommend that families move away from bottles from around 12 months, and that means some older babies will be moving from a breast directly to a cup. We want families who use powdered formula to understand that the powder may contain bacteria and other pathogens and there are careful recommendations about how to make up a bottle safely. ( https://www.nhs.uk/start4life/baby/feeding-your-baby/bottle-feeding/how-to-make-up-a-feed/making-up-a-feed/ )

When we talk about a baby under twelve months transitioning from breastfeeding, it is easy to get wrapped up on dropping breastfeeds and discussions of milk volume, but we must never lose sight of the fact that breastfeeding was about connection and an exchange of love and physical affection too. It was about oxytocin. We still want that oxytocin creation to happen. We are not just changing how a baby is fed but adding in a new method of feeding AND lots of opportunities for physical affection. Bottle feeding can happen skin-to-skin and there’s lots of time for snuggles and connection.

Whatever age a baby is when breastfeeding ends, we need parents to be prepared for some possible impacts on them. Ideally, the transition from breastfeeding to exclusive bottle feeding happens gradually. If you have been producing a full milk supply, it is going to take time for your body to get the message that the order has changed. If that isn’t handled carefully, at the very least we could be looking at engorgement and blocked ducts. In more serious cases, we could be increasing the risk of mastitis and abscesses. A gradual weaning process means it’s more likely that the body will adapt. The grape-like lobules in the milk storage areas can feel lumpy under the skin and this can be frightening if you have spent months, or even years, associating lumpiness with blocked ducts. Milk storage areas that remain full are doing some important jobs. Fullness is part of the natural process which slows milk production. However, this is a balance, and we want the reduction to be as comfortable as possible. Breasts need to be well supported (but not squashed). Pain relief may be helpful. Cool compresses, and even cabbage leaves, may also provide relief. There are physical adaptations that are needed, but also emotional ones. You might experience ‘weaning blues’ even if you very much wanted to end breastfeeding. Your body is adapting to a change in hormones. Previously, with every breastfeed, there was a release of oxytocin. Your body may miss that, and you may have some other complicated feelings alongside the end of breastfeeding. It’s important for you to be gentle with yourself and reach out for support if you need to.

Weaning an older toddler

Let’s imagine we are talking about ending breastfeeding an older child. We start with doing some thinking about this child’s relationship to the breast. Are they more likely to ask at a particular time of day? Or when you are engaged in a certain activity? Are they hungry for food or hungry for connection? Once we understand when requests for a breastfeed are more likely, we can reflect on what a child will need to replace breastfeeding. The act of weaning is not simply the act of removing breastfeeding. Many new things often need to be added in. We can think of breastfeeding as being like the ‘Swiss army pen knife’ of parenting. It contained so many different tools and met so many different needs. Now you are taking it out of your tool belt, and you’re going to need to replace it with some new things. Some parents will learn to parent in different ways. Your child may need new ways to ask for help in emotional co-regulation. They may need a new language that helps them feel empowered and in control of their world. They may need a new language of sleep and getting to sleep. They may need help to find ways to say, “I’m feeling a bit vulnerable, and I need to check in with you.”

It may be that breastfeeding is the tool a child uses to physically calm themselves. It is how they wind down when they are buzzing. It is also often used as a tool for sleep. It makes biological sense when you think that breastmilk contains hormones that aid sleep for any age – for both the nursling and the parent. Nurslings of any age can enjoy breastfeeding as a way to transition to sleep, whether it is for a nap, at bedtime or after waking in the middle of the night. Breastfeeding might also be their decompressing tool when they feel overwhelmed at other times. They may be experiencing physical pain or feeling unwell. They may feel afraid.

Weaning is not a battle of parent versus nursling. It is trying to find a new world together, with compassion, that meets the needs of everyone. A lot is going to depend on the age of the child, but if your child is verbal and is able to understand what you are saying, they can be a partner in your process. You might start with conversations in daily life that explain milkies don’t last forever for everyone. These conversations can happen long before they are personalised to say, ‘One day, YOU will not have mummy milk.’ We want your child to understand that one day breastfeeding ends and that can be hard, but it ends for everyone eventually. In the park, you might point out an older child on a skateboard, ‘I wonder how old he is. I think he’s about ten. I wonder how old he was when he stopped having mummy milk and how he felt about that?’ A parent might talk about people in the supermarket, characters in the background of picture books or television friends. Does Peppa Pig still have mummy milk? It is never discussed so we assume not. I wonder how old she was when she stopped? How does she get to sleep now? What does she do when she wants to feel close to mummy pig?

Reading picture books about weaning can also be an extension of this conversation. For many young children, reading a book is a time where they are most likely to focus, and the repetition is ideal to embed new concepts. You may like to go one step further and make your own weaning book. Using online photo companies, it’s possible to create individualised books using family photos with familiar phrases, that give everyone a sense of ownership of the process. Young children often like to see photos of themselves, and you can include photos of their sleeping space, special toys and their favourite foods and activities.

Alongside reading picture books, eventually the time comes to put the theory into practice. You will need to explain to your child that one day milk will go away FOR THEM. You might share pictures of early breastfeeding and share memories. You might talk about how you have loved breastfeeding and how special it is and how you will find it hard to say goodbye too. This conversation doesn’t just happen once but is sprinkled throughout some days at different times. It might happen at the park or during dinner. Ideally it happens at times when emotions are steady to start with, and there is time to explore feelings that arise. A child as young as 18 months or two years old may not be able to articulate, or even fully comprehend what is being said, but repetition may help and it makes sense to try and offer some explanation, rather than underestimate their level of understanding. It is important that you reflect on how you will explain to their child WHY breastfeeding is going away. Some parents struggle with doing this authentically. You will see stories online of parents rubbing their nipples in unpleasant tasting foods or even chilli oil (ouch). Breastfeeding has been such an honest and beautiful connection. If a parent has breastfed their child for several years, it seems a shame to end it with something inauthentic, and something they may later look back on with suspicion. Are we really protecting them?

Many parents fear speaking honestly. They want to say things like, ‘milk is going away because you are getting older’ or ‘I think we will both sleep better if we don’t have milk at night.’ Neither of those concepts really make sense to a child. Why is milk going away? Being ‘older’ or ‘a big boy’ doesn’t mean they don’t need you! They may feel they sleep better at night because they have milk. They don’t want a parent to do this for them! If a parent can find a starting place that is truthful, they will be able to continue with that honest communication. You might say something like, ‘My body is going to stop making milkies’ or ‘my boobies are tired, and my body is tired and I’m going to help you say goodbye to milkies. I know it will be hard and sometimes you might feel angry and sad that boobies are going away, but mummy cuddles will always be here.’

A nursling who is weaning reluctantly has every right to be angry. Just as you have a right to wean, your nursling has the right to be angry and disappointed. It is important that they understand the feelings they express are to be validated. There is a misunderstanding by some that validation is a tool we use to calm children down. When we say, ‘I understand’, that we are actually hoping it is enough to stop them being upset, but in fact things might be more painful initially. A child who knows that their feelings are being listened to and recognised, is eventually going to be in a better place.

It is sometimes said that distraction is a valuable weaning tool. I have said it myself in the past. For much younger children, it can be useful as you seek to meet their needs in other ways as quickly and as effectively as possible. It is natural to not want to imagine that a child is experiencing pain. If there is a way to avoid seeing distress or anger, that sounds like an ideal scenario. However, distraction shouldn’t be about pretending weaning isn’t happening. We are not aiming to wean and hope they don’t notice.

The psychotherapist Philippa Perry describes how distraction ‘can be an insult to a child’s intelligence’: “What message does distraction convey? Imagine you fall over and badly graze your knee how would you feel if your partner, instead of being concerned or interested in the pain or the blood or the embarrassment, pointed out a squirrel or promised that you could play your favourite video game?” (Perry 2019)

Distraction is attractive in the short term. It might feel like a handy short cut, but this may not be the best time for short cuts. Of course, it does depend on what a child’s motivations for wanting the breast are. Ideally, if distraction does happen, it should be on-topic and meeting the underlying need. If your child is requesting connection and time with you, then offering a different loving focused activity isn’t distraction so much as offering a new way to meet the same need. However, a child who is asking for connection, and is instead offered a screen and a snack, is not having that need met respectfully.

If we see weaning from breastfeeding as a time to add in new parenting tools and new languages, what can that look like in practice? A new language around thirst and nutrition is about providing opportunities. Does the child have a cup they can use independently that is within easy reach? Do they have a way to request snacks or to explain when they feel hungry? All they may be skilled to do in that situation is to ask for a breastfeed.

Giving a child a new language to ask for connection and affection is often at the heart of weaning from breastfeeding. When a child continues breastfeeding beyond infancy, the dialogue of requesting a breastfeed and having that need met can feel powerful and wonderful. The most important person in their lives is pausing and meeting their request. When they have that urge for parental love and a sign of affection, they have the tools to do that. If that tool is taken away and no alternative is given, the risk is that the child feels not only rejected but also disempowered and destabilised. That was the only way that they knew how to ask for a physical sign of love. It was the only way they knew how to say, ‘Hey I need you for a moment!’ Can your child ask for a cuddle? Do you ask them for a cuddle? What other kinds of physical affection do you model in your home and have words for? You may want to add in more times for attachment play and power reversal play, where your child feels in control and taking the lead. Attachment play may only last for 10-15 minutes but it’s a time when you give your child your focus and your energy.

A feed that is sometimes difficult to drop is the reconnection feed that happens when a child is reunited with their parent after a day of nursery and work. That feed is a powerful moment of a child decompressing at the end of a long day and celebrating seeing the parent again. Some children will arrive home full of energy, and high energy connective play and physical games may meet a need. Some are tired and are looking for a moment of peace. Activities like a hand massage or head and shoulder massage can be special, and the nursling might take the role of the facilitator and the expert. Dens are a great tool to give little people a sense of fun and excitement. You can create a cuddle nook which may be a tent or a home-made den, with cushions, bean bags and fairy lights. This isn’t a place where breastfeeding happens but where reading and cuddling and other kinds of physical connection occur. It would be sensible to discuss in the morning what will happen at the reunion. Another caregiver could mention it and remind the child during the day. The parent might even be able to speak to them on the way home via a video call to prepare them for what is going to happen.

Alongside introducing a new language around connection and physical affection, other boundaries around breastfeeding are progressively being put in place. Breastfeeding might still happen in the day, but only in certain places. Perhaps no longer on a particular chair or restricted to a less interesting and stimulating room. You might agree to do a feed for a short period of time and then offer a different activity that may be more appealing. If you are saying, ‘not right now’, you can give them a choice about what might happen instead to help them feel they have some control over the process.

What about night weaning? What can be helpful is the concept of habit-stacking (a term used by Lyndsey Hookway). We want the child to have more than one association with safe and soothing bedtime and the process of falling asleep. Then as the breastfeeding is removed, they are left with something familiar that already helps their brain to think, ‘Ahh, yes, sleep time now.’ After all, being a creature of habit is a normal human state of affairs. Adults would also not be thrilled if our familiar routine was yanked out from under us overnight. Parents can introduce one or two additional habits alongside breastfeeding. It is something that involves the parent, so they are still offering co-regulation once the breastfeeding goes. It will differ for every child. Some would be irritated by stroking or patting and may prefer something auditory. A parent might choose a gentle phrase that can be repeated. They might tell a narrative along the lines of, ‘You are sleeping now. Mummy is sleeping now. Granny is sleeping now. Cats are sleeping now. The birds in the trees are sleeping now.’ When it later comes time for night weaning, the parent can add in, ‘Boobies are sleeping now.’ Some families might choose gentle singing or a white noise machine with ocean sounds.

For older nurslings, a guided meditation can also be a valuable tool at bedtime and the peaceful language repeated during the night in smaller chunks. An older child may also be able to express an opinion on what they would like to use as their additional sleep habit. At the same time, it can be useful to have conversation in the day about the process of falling asleep, to help reinforce that this is a process that involves an element of choice. How does Daddy fall asleep at night? How does a friend? What do they do when they can’t fall asleep easily? A parent might role play falling asleep with cuddly toys during playtime. What is teddy going to choose? And teddy might be angry with Mummy because booby isn’t happening throughout the night. A parent might ‘play bedtimes’, where they are the child, and the nursling becomes the parent. Or original roles might be maintained, and the parent offers alternatives to the breast. Role play can be a useful way to work through emotions.

Breastfeeding toddlers often haven’t attached to a cuddly toy at bedtime. Why would they? The parent is their cuddly toy. However, it might be useful to introduce a transitional object for the first time, to provide one further means of support if night weaning is going to happen. Again, with an older nursling, this is something they may to like have agency over. A parent might explain that one day boobies will go away, and they can choose a new friend to be with them at night to help them.

In the nights prior to the onset of night weaning, daytime conversation is valuable. This is not something that comes out of the blue. However, weeks of preparation are unlikely to be helpful. Being gentle is not always the same thing as being very slow. A young child is unlikely to have a sophisticated sense of time and concepts like ‘next month’ or even ‘next week’ are fairly meaningless. Something like ‘in a few days’ might be more useful. You might discuss it on the bus, walking back from the park, at dinner time. You could eventually remind their child that, ‘tonight is the last night that booby happens all night. Then tomorrow booby is sleeping at night.’ Or you might say, ‘tonight is the last night booby happens all night. Tomorrow, we can only do two boobies at night.’ You remind them that it will be hard, and you will be there to help them. Then the during the day, prior to the big night, there are lots of reminders.

What is important is to emphasise that you will be there to support your child, whatever they are feeling. We are not implying that we are asking them to be a ‘good boy’ or to ‘try hard’. Equally, the next morning, we are not praising them for not being upset. All feelings are welcome because the child is loved unconditionally. If you have a partner, they can provide important support for both of you, but it is not ideal if your approach to weaning involves you stepping away entirely and leaving your partner to take over (or for you to leave the home entirely). Your child is scared and experiencing their first major loss in their life. They need to know they are not losing you entirely. You are there to support them through this loss. And you’ll also need to practise your new skills of providing comfort and co-regulation. Sometimes when parents do attempt to use separation as a weaning technique, it can leave a child feeling more vulnerable and even more desperate for breastfeeding to continue. Sometimes there is no alternative other than to face difficult feelings and to be there for your child during their time of loss.

Ending breastfeeding is hard. Even the most careful and loving parent who approaches the weaning process sensitively and gently may find it upsetting and difficult. Just as we make space for little people to feel sad, we may need to allow ourselves to have mixed feelings too. As AA Milne says (as quoted in the weaning book, ‘Booby Moon’ by Yvette Reid): “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” Then, when you are done, take a moment to look back and celebrate your breastfeeding achievement. Remember those early days and weeks. Remember the special times. IBCLC Glenni Lorick says that parenting is a ‘series of weanings’. This has probably been your first. Well done for getting through it.

Emma’s book: SUPPORTING THE TRANSITION FROM BREASTFEEDING: A GUIDE TO WEANING FOR PROFESSIONALS, SUPPORTERS AND PARENTS will be published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers soon.

References:

Brown, A. and Harries, V. (2015) ‘Infant sleep and night feeding patterns during later infancy: association with breastfeeding frequency, daytime complementary food intake, and infant weight.’ Breastfeeding medicine 10, 5, 246–252. doi: org/10.1089/bfm.2014.0153
Drugs in Breastmilk information service: https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/detailed-information/drugs-in-breastmilk/
NHS Better Health Start for Life (2023) What to Feed Your Baby. UK: NHS Public Health England. https:/www.nhs.uk/start4life/weaning/what-to-feed-your-baby/7-9-months/
First Steps Nutrition Trust (2021b) Infant milks: A simple guide to infant formula, follow-on formula and other infant milks. London: First Steps Nutrition Trust. https://www.firststepsnutrition.org/parents-carers
Perry, P. (2019) The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did). London: Penguin. P.79
Hookway, L. (2021) Still Awake: responsive sleep tools for toddlers to tweens. London: Pinter & Martin.
Reid, Y. (2021) Booby Moon: a weaning book for toddlers. New Zealand: Yvette Reid.
Lorick, G. (2009) ‘Life is full of weanings’, Conservative Granola Mommies, 2 March. https://conservativegranolamommies.blogspot.com/2009/03/life-is-full-of-weanings.html.

Extended Breastfeeding Was the Right Choice for My Family

Medical review policy, latest update:, why we chose extended breastfeeding, read this next, what it's like breastfeeding a toddler, how others reacted to my decision to keep breastfeeding, how i knew our extended breastfeeding journey was over.

Extended breastfeeding was a beautiful experience for our family. And while in my community it may not be the norm, I hope that more beautiful Black women will embrace their ability to give and sustain life with their bodies. We were made for this.

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What I Learned Breastfeeding For Over A Decade (and How It Felt)

By Rustina , Contributing Writer

Having your little one all cuddled in, nourished in soul and tummy from you, is a feeling like no other. All those emotions of pride, happiness, contentment – and worry, doubts, and fears! One moment you are elated with the progress you are making, and then the next you are worried if it is enough progress or did they seem smaller today?

Breastfeeding can evoke such a wide range of emotional responses -from those who have sailed through the journey, struggled, loved it, hated it, succeeded in it, or wished that it had worked out better for them. We all love our little ones so much and want what is best for them. While a relationship between a mama and her baby is special, sometimes we have questions or worries and want to hear how other moms did it. I wanted to talk about how I made it through some of the emotions and other troubles that popped up along my breastfeeding journey.

What I Learned Breastfeeding

I first started nursing when I became a mom in 2009, and I just finished with my youngest in 2022. I nursed all (4) of my boys. My oldest weaned himself before 2 years old, my second around 2.5 years old, my third was rushed to wean when I got sick just before he turned 3 years old, and my fourth was 4 years old when he stopped nursing. Collectively, it has been quite the busy last decade! I learned new things with each of them, and if I ever get a chance to breastfeed again, I am sure that pattern would continue.

Bonding and Connecting

There is a deep bond between mama and her baby. The physical closeness, the peaks of a smile as your little one nurses (these are my favorite little smiles), and skin-to-skin contact during breastfeeding can create a strong sense of connection, love, and attachment. This helps our hormones level out and helps us get more of the “happy hormones” too.

Skin-to-skin contact was very important for my baby’s comfort. If you aren’t comfortable going topless, try a sports bra (I loved those simple criss cross in front bras for this). Babywearing was a lifesaver. My oldest 3 loved riding in a woven wrap, but my youngest would only happily be in a ring carrier. Skin-to-skin contact has numerous benefits. It helps regulate the baby’s temperature, promotes bonding, and stimulates milk production. Spend as much time as you can with your baby skin-to-skin!

Sometimes, especially during the early part of breastfeeding, we struggle with being exhausted, sore, and the effects of the hormones shifting can make bonding a struggle. It’s ok to ask for help and support during this. If your partner, friend, or family member is able to help, that can be so helpful. I struggle with opening up to people and trusting others, so building a network of support is not easy for me. But, I was always so happy to have help.

Some ideas to help get support: look for a lactation consultant, join a breastfeeding support group (Mommy & Me groups might help), look around for moms in the local department store when getting breast pads , pumps, or milk freezing bags, or reach out to other breastfeeding mothers that you know. Having a support network can provide valuable guidance and encouragement for you and your new journey! And make no mistake – each kiddo is a whole new journey! The journey is always well worth it, and you will always be learning something new too.

Feeling Empowered and Confident

Breastfeeding can have an intense sense of wonder, joy, and satisfaction for a mama. Nourishing your baby with breast milk can evoke feelings of being a capable caregiver and provider of an amazing, essential nutrition for our little ones. It can go the other direction too, and we’ll talk about that a little later in this post. When you are first starting to nurse your little one, there are some immediate goals and a couple very useful tips that I feel made a big difference.

The first is often simpler said than done – establish a good latch. A strong latch is important for a comfortable and happy breastfeeding experience. Some good tips are to make sure your baby’s mouth is wide open with the nipple deep in their mouth. A shallow latch can lead to sore, cracked nipples and less than desirable milk transfer. Sometimes this takes a few weeks (or longer) to get it just right.

With my 4th son, I was in tears. He had such a hard struggle to latch, and I became engorged so quickly. I thought I was going to have to give up on my streak of not washing bottles to exclusively pump. That was made all the more difficult when the insurance-provided breast pump I ordered didn’t get sent out in time. I ended up getting it 2 weeks after he was born.

I hand expressed to relieve the pressure, and I kept trying each time to help him latch. He would go for a couple minutes, but he just couldn’t stay latched. I tried the nipple shields to help make it easier and maybe smaller for him. Those did work a little bit, but he still couldn’t stay on long. Hand expressing into bottles and a repaired old breast pump (thank goodness my hubby was able to fix it) worked to get enough milk for him as we just kept trying. By the end of the month, he was a pro at it! It was so stressful before that though, and I don’t think I ever weighed a child as many times as I did then, making sure he was gaining weight. I am so thankful it all worked out. We just kept trying a little bit longer each day, as he made it a little stronger, and then I kept feeling a little better each day too.

The second tip that I found helpful was feeding on demand . In the beginning all the books said to space feedings apart 2 hours. Sometimes 2 hours is the right amount of space, but just follow your little one’s cues. This helped keep the flow going natural and each of my little ones growing at their own pace. Whenever they showed hunger cues, usually every 1-3 hours – and occasionally even less, I made sure to feed them. As they grew, they naturally spaced the feedings further apart. Since breastfeeding is based on supply and demand, nursing frequently helps maintain a steady milk production.

Oxytocin (a “happy hormone”) is released during breastfeeding ( S ). This can induce feelings of happiness, tranquility, and a sense of well-being. When we are so exhausted, sore, and busy, that oxytocin can get us through a lot! Whether it is nursing or just skin to skin contact, when we are cuddling with our little ones, oxytocin is released. This helps milk production, our mood, and our body adapt for balancing hormones after such huge changes in hormones going – in less than a year – from not pregnant to pregnant to having your baby in your arms.

Each of my little ones had different preferences on how they liked to nurse. I experimented with a lot of different nursing positions with my younger three boys. With my first, I tried to do everything “by the book,” sometimes failing terribly and feeling stressed. My family and almost everyone I knew formula fed, so I didn’t have much to go on besides what I read and picked up from my husband’s family. The common positions like the cradle hold, cross-cradle hold, football hold, and side-lying position were comfortable and supportive. But sometimes, different positions like dangle feeding were very helpful. Finding a comfortable and supportive position is important for your comfort and for your baby to latch well. As long as your little one is facing your breast and has a good latch, don’t worry about “form” or matching up to a picture.

Just remember to be patient with growth spurts. During growth spurts, they may want to nurse more frequently and longer too. This is normal and helps stimulate your milk supply to meet their increasing demands. Trust your body’s ability to adapt. Of course, this can lead to engorgement (fuller breasts) and more leaking, but that increase is what your little one needs.

Some signs of hunger cues to watch for are rooting (pursing lips and rubbing face into whatever is nearby – this is the baby looking for a nipple), sucking motions, or putting their hand to their mouth. Responding to early hunger cues can prevent your baby from becoming fussy or agitated. Whether looking for comfort or hungry, your little one loves to have you near. Nursing brings that closeness, and being able to meet that need can bring on your confidence.

Breastfeeding through all those years was an amazing bonding experience with each of my boys and a great boost for my confidence when I needed it most. Overcoming challenges, such as establishing a good latch or increasing milk supply, can instill a sense of empowerment and humility in the awe of life.

Wrestling with Frustration, Guilt, and Exhaustion

Breastfeeding can be so emotionally challenging too. Difficulties with latching, low milk supply, nipple pain, leaking, feeling engorged, or figuring out how your life fits in with your new breastfeeding journey can lead to frustration, stress, and feelings of guilt or inadequacy for a mama.

I loved getting to breastfeed. We are allowed to have these “less than happy” feelings too. We need support and understanding. Sometimes, I would feel like I was missing out on events or limited on what I could do. It might have been because stopping to nurse was harder in the beginning. Would anyone say something? Was I rested enough and feeling up to replying to them? Most people never said a word about it, but I used to worry a lot in the beginning.

Where would I nurse – in the van or on a park bench? I remember going back to work after my second son, and I had to pump in the bathroom to fill bottles to keep at my mom’s house.

I had heard some people complain about others nursing, so I avoided being around them in the beginning. We feel less supported and discouraged listening to complaints even when they are not about us specifically. The slightest of complements or encouragement can affect us too! I will never forget those who helped me feel more comfortable around them while I was getting used to breastfeeding in general or somewhere new. I am so thankful for each of those little moments of support.

It feels hard, but be patient and flexible with yourself and your little one. Nursing is a learning process for both you and your babe. It may take time to find a rhythm and for everyone to get comfortable with the arrangement. It is ok to adjust, and readjust every approach that doesn’t feel right to you. You know your body and your baby better than anyone else. Listen to your gut and your baby’s cues.

The demands of frequent breastfeeding, especially during the early weeks and months, can contribute to feeling exhausted, limited, and overwhelmed . The sleep deprivation that often accompanies breastfeeding can intensify emotional ups and downs. My second son had tongue tie, lip tie, and side buccal ties – of course, I didn’t discover that or know anything about it until he was 3 years old and had oral surgery that inadvertently released the ties a bit. Until he was 2.5 years old, he would wake every two hours to nurse at night. I was working second shift full time, and I would get so exhausted. Combine sleep deprivation with hormone imbalance, and recovery feels near impossible some days! It is though! Just keep eating right for your mental health as well as for your physical health, and try to get as much sleep as possible – whenever you can.

It is so important to take care of yourself. Good nutrition , hydration, and rest are essential for maintaining your milk supply and overall well-being. Remember to eat a balanced diet, drink plenty of fluids, and rest whenever possible. It is tempting to force a schedule, but there are some reasons not to. Read more about that in Why You Shouldn’t Sleep Train Your Baby .

Letting the Journey Go

The hormone changes combined with the physical and mental changes happening every moment create a lot of different emotions in us. It’s important to note that the emotional experience of breastfeeding can vary significantly from mama to mama. If you’re experiencing persistent negative emotions or struggling with depression ( postpartum depression or otherwise ), it’s ok to seek support from healthcare professionals, lactation consultants, or support groups who can provide more guidance, encouragement, and assistance.

One thing that helped me get through the harder times was nursing for comfort and connection. Breastfeeding is not just about nourishment; it is also a source of comfort and connection for your little one. As they grow into toddlerhood, nursing can provide emotional support during times of stress, illness, or sleep disturbances. Any time they sleep better, we can sleep better too!

By far, the hardest part of my journey with breastfeeding has been the end. After more than a decade of breastfeeding, my last one has weaned. It is so exciting to not have to worry about any of the supply issues, but I miss it terribly at the same time.

I didn’t force weaning except with my 3rd, when I got really sick while my father was in the hospital – and the medication was too harsh to allow nursing. He was already down to just when tired or upset. I still feel guilty for rushing it sometimes though.

When it came to starting foods, I introduced solids very gradually. All of them started eating a “plate” full with us at about 9 months (with my cycle returning within 24 hours of that too). I offered meals and snacks when we did and continued breastfeeding afterwards. Follow your baby’s cues and gradually increase solid food intake. I did cups of water, milk (mixed with breastmilk), and diluted juice periodically.

There is no need to rush or quit before you and your little one are ready. Society shouldn’t say “3 is too old,” or any other thing about a mama taking care of her little one the best she can. There were times that my youngest would hear someone say he was too old to nurse, and it would make him so upset. That’s why I took this picture actually. I wanted him to see that he was not too big or too old.

Remember, every breastfeeding journey is unique, and it’s important to trust your instincts and listen to your baby’s needs. If you have concerns or difficulties, don’t hesitate to seek help. Don’t for a moment think that makes you less than anyone else. We all need help sometimes. I had nursed for 6 years, and Istill faced new challenges and struggles with my last one! We are all always learning.

Here are some links for more help and info, as well as our Facebook community where you can reach out for help (even anonymously if desired):

Modern Alternative Mamas! Facebook Group

Modern Alternative Mama Facebook Page ( Old and New )

Biologically Normal Infant Feeding: Why Breastfeeding Matters

8 Responses to People Who Question Breastfeeding

What No One Tells You About Breastfeeding a Newborn

Can You Detox While Pregnant and Breastfeeding?

Why You Should Keep Breastfeeding Your Baby after a year

7 Responses To People Who Question Extended Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding: To Cover or Not to Cover?

Why Does Public Breastfeeding Make People So Angry?

Breastfeeding During Pregnancy {Your Questions Answered}

3 Facts You Need to Know About Breastfeeding While Pregnant

DIY: Nipple Cream

DIY: Breastfeeding Pads

Nutrient Chart for Pregnancy and Breastfeeding

Taking Care of Yourself While Breastfeeding

5 Steps to Prepare for Successful Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding and Babywearing

What has your breastfeeding journey been like?

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Hi, I’m Kate . I love medical freedom, sharing natural remedies, developing real food recipes, and gentle parenting. My goal is to teach you how to live your life free from Big Pharma, Big Food, and Big Government by learning about herbs, cooking, and sustainable practices.

I’m the author of Natural Remedies for Kids and the owner and lead herbalist at Earthley . I hope you’ll join me on the journey to a free and healthy life!

My breastfeeding journey ended abruptly—and I wasn’t prepared for the grief that followed

Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock

This was a sudden loss of something both beautiful and painful that had become deeply ingrained into my identity as a woman and a mother

By Hannah Lacy August 25, 2022

As a mother, I can’t remember how many times I read online, in a book, on a Facebook or Instagram post, or was verbally told that “breast is best” when it comes to feeding babies. Thankfully this narrative is shifting to “fed is best” because not every mother may choose or have the ability to breastfeed— and both of these are more than OK. My own hope and goal (apart from the societal pressure during both my pregnancies) was to be able to nourish, care for and bond with my babies through breastfeeding.

While there are countless articles about the benefits of breastfeeding , how to increase your milk supply, and baby-led weaning, I found out the hard way how few resources were available to moms who had to end their breastfeeding journey before they were ready to. The reasons for this can be many, but the outcome is often the same: a range of negative emotions. Anger, frustration, guilt, shame and grief.

Motherly Digital Classes

Ready, set, latch.

Welcome to the best breastfeeding class for new and expectant parents! Rebecca Ellison’s essential research-based, expert-taught, comprehensive class is full of realistic and practical tips given in a non-judgmental approach.

When breastfeeding goes well, it is truly such a beautiful and remarkable thing. But when it doesn’t go the way you planned—or the way you prepared for it to go—it can be really devastating.

So much went well. Both my boys latched easily shortly after birth. We were fortunate to not have any difficulty with tongue ties. There were diet adjustments on my part as both my boys seemed to have lactose sensitivities. While I had to supplement with formula at six weeks with my firstborn due to a lack of employer support (a six week unpaid maternity leave and pumping on my lunch break without having actual pumping breaks), with my youngest I fed on demand for over 12 months.

But both of my breastfeeding journeys came to abrupt, unplanned, unforeseen and traumatic ends due to emergency medical events—at nine months with my firstborn and around 14 months with my youngest.

Related: To the mama who recently stopped breastfeeding

Receiving a thyroid cancer diagnosis and emergency surgery and subsequently having to quit nursing before my oldest son’s first birthday was heartbreaking. Spending ten days in the ICU due to an anaphylactic reaction when my youngest was 14 months old, bringing our nursing journey to an end was equally devastating.

I wasn’t prepared for the feelings of anger and then guilt and then grief that followed both times. Wasn’t I lucky and fortunate to have been able to breastfeed my babies for any length of time? Yes . But was this a sudden loss of something both beautiful and painful that had become deeply ingrained into my identity as a woman and a mother? Also yes .

Related: How to stop breastfeeding—while keeping yourself and your baby happy

Overnight, everything changes when you are breastfeeding—as with any other aspect of motherhood and parenting. There is swelling and engorged, leaky breasts. There are cracked, swollen and tender nipples and nursing on demand (hourly sometimes) with nothing more than 30 minute naps in lieu of unbroken sleep for months.

There are the nursing bras , nursing pads, lactation teas and snacks. There is the guilt when you eat something you suspect upsets your baby’s stomach, and then the subsequent diet adjustments. There is planning your schedule and activities around your feeding or pumping schedule.

Then there is the bond with your baby that nothing can come close to capturing. The feeling of contentment and waves of love that washes over you as you hold your nursing baby in your arms while looking down at them, especially during those early mornings or late night feedings .

As with any aspect of being a mother or parent, breastfeeding can become an extension of your identity and nothing can prepare you for the abrupt end of that journey—and all the negative range of emotions that come with it.

I wasn’t ready for the grief that the end of my breastfeeding journey brought. I’ve needed the reminder on this post-breastfeeding journey that it’s OK to grieve, it’s OK to feel like I’ve lost something precious. And I’ve needed a reminder that this story deserves to be shared.

So, mama, whatever your journey with breastfeeding has been, it’s OK to grieve the loss of something precious to you. You don’t have to grieve alone or suffer in silence. Because I see you and I share the grief that you carry.

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Workshops & courses login, february 20, 2024, december 7, 2022, support for moms on the breastfeeding journey: common struggles and how lactation consultants can help.

What You'll Learn

How lactation consultants can help on the breastfeeding journey, the importance of education on our breastfeeding journey, common struggles moms face with breastfeeding, how partners can help with breastfeeding, ways other support people can help, the value of flexibility on our breastfeeding journey, why less is sometimes more when it comes to breastfeeding.

Has your breastfeeding journey not gone the way you imagined? You aren’t alone. From medical issues to latching difficulties to engorgement, breastfeeding doesn’t always look like a peaceful bonding experience from the beginning.

Today, I’m joined by Lactation Consultant Amey Fields, founder of AZ Breastfed Babies , to discuss the common struggles moms face on the breastfeeding journey, the importance of flexibility, and why our support system matters.

My Breastfeeding Journey

Before I had my first son, I did a lot of planning. Where to put the crib. What colours to decorate the nursery. Which brand of diapers to use.

But I didn’t plan much around my breastfeeding journey. I knew I wanted to breastfeed—but I believed that it was what my body was made to do. I thought that it would come naturally.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. We battled latching issues, low supply, engorgement, trouble gaining weight. I spent time crying in the shower from the pain and pumping between feeds to try to increase my supply.

We found our footing over time, and I breastfed all three of my sons. But I had no idea how complex the breastfeeding journey could be.

I had no idea how complex the breastfeeding journey could be.

Once I started working in the maternal mental health space, I saw the impact breastfeeding can have on moms, from struggles with expectations to grief if it doesn’t turn out the way we want it to.

I was excited to chat with Amey about support for moms on all places in their breastfeeding journey.

We often think of lactation consultants as pushing the “breast is best” narrative and only offering advice on breastfeeding. But Amey said that for many lactation consultants, there’s more to it than that.

In her practice, they offer breastfeeding education, support for moms during latching and milk supply struggles, guidance on pumping, discussion about combo feeding and formula feeding, bottle skill training, and even weaning advice.

Breastfeeding means different things to different people and families.

She pointed out that breastfeeding means different things to different people and families. The all-or-nothing thinking and pressure around breastfeeding is outdated, and it shouldn’t be how it is anymore.

Amey said that her hope is that a mom enjoys her new baby and feels supported toward her goals, whatever those might be.

Many moms experience the same struggles that I did. They often go into it believing that breastfeeding will be natural and easy. But it’s actually a skill that moms and babies need to learn.

Amey pointed out that giving birth is natural, but we know that moms need a lot of support, from birthing classes to doulas to potential interventions. Yet, we don’t apply that same thinking to breastfeeding.

She encountered her own difficulties with breastfeeding after having her first daughter while working as a labour and delivery nurse. When she realized how hard it actually was, she was angry. Not only had nobody ever told her how difficult it could be, but she had also never told any of her patients that.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Erica Djossa | Motherhood | Podcast | Therapy 🇨🇦 (@happyasamother)

Her experience made her realize how important it is to help moms through the difficulties of feeding. That’s why she’s a proponent of breastfeeding education and prenatal consults. She believes in preparing new moms for the fact that breastfeeding is a learned skill, and that it sometimes takes a lot of time, commitment, and practice.

For example, many new moms are blindsided by the second day feeding frenzy when they bring their babies home. They worry that the frequent feeds mean their babies aren’t getting enough milk or that something is wrong. But if moms know it’s coming, they can prepare and understand that it’s normal.

She preps her clients to know that:

Day 1 will likely consist of a sleepy baby who might need to be woken up to eat.
Day 2 will probably consist of lots of fussiness and cluster feeding.
And days 3-5 will bring engorgement, which might come with pain and latching difficulty.

One of the most common struggles Amey sees with new breastfeeding moms is that they do come in with unrealistic expectations. The initiation phase can be difficult.

Another common struggle is worrying about your supply and wondering if baby is getting enough milk. We can’t tell how much baby is eating, which causes a lot of anxiety for many moms.

‍ Counting wet diapers is one of the best indicators of how much a baby is taking in. Baby is likely getting enough milk if they produce:

1-2 wet diapers the first day
2-4 wet diapers on days 2-3
4-6 wet diapers by day 4
6 or more wet diapers from day 5 on

There are other indicators to look for, including a swallowing sound once the milk comes in, and a softening during feeds after breasts become engorged.

Babies might also experience medical issues, like lip or tongue ties, or even restriction and tension from the birthing process. Just like moms can be sore after birth, so can babies. Or babies might have to spend time in the NICU , preventing breastfeeding. This can all impact the breastfeeding journey and make the process tough at the beginning.

Other moms experience pain and latching issues. Amey pointed out that pain should not be an expectation with breastfeeding, and it shouldn’t be ignored. Many people do experience some pain, but it’s something to work through—not to overlook. Sometimes a change in position or a simple alteration can help. If you experience nipple damage, it should be addressed right away.

Sometimes partners feel disconnected when a mom exclusively breastfeeds. They aren’t sure how to contribute to the breastfeeding journey or bond with the baby.

Amey encourages partners to download apps and participate in the tracking. This helps them take an active role in the parental knowledge, and takes some of the load off of mom.

Partners can also support with burping and changing diapers, giving them opportunities to bond.

It can be very hard as moms to let partners or other family members step in. For me, it felt like my family was walking around with one of my organs—I didn’t want my babies out of my sight.

Feeling that way is completely normal. But we also want to make sure we aren’t gatekeeping and preventing our partners from having a role—they want and need to feel useful and be involved.

Our partners want and need to feel useful and be involved.

Sometimes it doesn’t feel helpful when people offer to hold the baby while a mom goes to sleep. They might not be ready to be away from their babies.

Amey said that it can be helpful for a mom to lay in bed with her baby while a partner watches over them, offering safety and support while still allowing mom to be with the baby.

She pointed out that in many cultures, it is a cultural norm for mom and baby to stay together for 30 days while a village of support people takes care of other responsibilities around the home. We might not be able to protect 30 days, but she encourages moms to spend the first week or two snuggling and feeding, experiencing a honeymoon phase with the new baby.

This might mean calling in other hands in addition to our partner. If you have family or friend support, they can help take care of pets, arrange playdates for siblings, or help with cooking and cleaning. They can change bedsheets or help keep the bedroom clean.

They can also bring snacks, food, and water to mom, letting her focus on feeding and bonding with the baby.

Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be a one-person job. We were never meant to do it alone—we can lean on our village and still spend time with our babies.

Breastfeeding often becomes a polarized conversation. But there are many ways to feed a baby. It’s important to maintain flexibility in the way we view the breastfeeding journey.

Amey pointed out that some moms are hesitant to talk to lactation consultants because they think they will push only breastfeeding. But moms who combo feed or formula feed should be able to get support too.

It’s okay if breastfeeding doesn’t look the way we envision.

It’s okay if breastfeeding doesn’t look the way we envision, or if we encounter struggles. It’s okay if we choose to supplement with formula or pump and offer bottles.

Many moms put a lot of pressure on themselves to breastfeed, no matter the cost to their physical or mental health. Amey urges moms to move away from the all-or-nothing thinking. It’s okay to take breaks.

It’s okay if it doesn’t come right away. Some moms breastfeed even if they take a day or a week off. Breastfeeding takes time to become established, and it can look different for everybody.

Amey also pointed out that sometimes we get so caught up with all of the gadgets and things for breastfeeding, like pillows and gliders. And sometimes, we end up putting our babies and ourselves in unnatural positions, which can actually impede the process.

She is a proponent of biological nursing. Rather than propping mom up or repeatedly trying to shove baby to the breast, we can encourage baby to explore their natural reflexes.

Along with the comfort gadgets we buy, we also might cling to scales or apps for tracking weight, which can sometimes trigger anxiety.

These things can be useful tools for some moms—however, if we begin to spiral, panic, or become hypervigilant, it might be time to take a step back and talk to someone. Breastfeeding can have a negative impact on our mental health , depending on our experience.

If we begin to spiral, panic, or become hypervigilant, it might be time to talk to someone.

Amey pointed out that we shouldn’t overlook anxiety around breastfeeding. If we do, it can trickle down and carry into the next phase of motherhood. That’s why it’s so important to seek help early on, even if it means letting go of some of the gadgets and apps.

‍ If you’re struggling with anxiety during the transition into motherhood, talking with a mom therapist can help! Our Wellness Center can connect you with a virtual mom therapist in your area. Book your FREE 15 minute consult today!

Breastfeeding

I am Amey Fields of Az Breastfed Babies LLC and I am an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and a labor and delivery nurse with over 20 years of experience helping moms and babies with breastfeeding. I started working as a labor and delivery nurse in 1998 while pregnant with my first baby.

In 2010 I was given the opportunity to run the community education department at the hospital I was working at. I became Lamaze certified and began teaching childbirth and newborn care classes to expectant parents.

I started Az Breastfed Babies in 2014 and it has grown to include 7 other RN/IBCLCs. We offer virtual consults around the world and in person consults throughout the Phoenix area.

Erica Djossa

Resources mentioned.

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5 Best Practices For a Successful Breastfeeding Journey

There are many ways to breastfeed successfully, but these five best practices will kick-start your journey and set you up for breastfeeding success.

This post may contain affiliate links for products I recommend. Should you choose to make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no added cost to you.

1. Try to breastfeed whenever possible.

Breastfeeding is a natural way to feed your baby and provides many health benefits for both mama and baby. The best way to set yourself up for success breastfeeding is to try to breastfeed whenever possible once your baby is born. Many hospitals encourage breastfeeding within the first hour after birth – known as “the golden hour.” But if your baby is delivered via C-section or needs to visit the NICU, don’t stress. You can still have a successful breastfeeding journey.

Breastfeeding is a supply and demand process and breastfeeding frequently helps initiate breastmilk production. The more milk that is removed from your breasts, the more milk you’ll produce. When baby feeds frequently it signals to your body to make more milk.

A quick tip about breastmilk production

DID YOU KNOW?! A baby’s belly is only the size of a grape at birth and grows to about the size of an apricot during their first week.

A baby’s belly is only the size of a grape at birth and grows to about the size of an apricot during their first week. For this reason, babies do not need very much milk in the early days.

The early milk you produce is called “colostrum”. Colostrum is yellow in color, rich in antibodies, and helps protect your baby against infections.

Because babies bellies are so small at first, colostrum is often enough to sustain your baby. In fact, it can take 2-5 days for breastmilk to come in and up to two months for a mama’s breastmilk supply to regulate. This is all completely normal.

How to know if your baby is getting breastmilk

You may feel a tingling or pins and needles sensation in your breasts within 1-2 minutes after your baby starts to nurse. This is called a “letdown” and is your baby’s way of triggering to your body that they are ready for your milk. Your breasts may feel fuller as they start to fill with milk and you may notice that your baby’s quick suckling turns into productive swallowing.

One of the most reliable ways to know whether your baby is getting enough to eat is by the number of dirty diapers they produce, and their weight loss and gain. It is normal for babies to lose some weight during their first week. However, they should begin to gain weight after their first few days and continue to gain weight.

Your pediatrician may recommend weighted feeds if they are concerned about weight gain. If they bring up supplementing with formula, you can always seek the second opinion of a lactation consultant. Do not feel pressured into formula feeding if it is your preference to breastfeed.

2. Feed your baby frequently and for as long as your baby wants to breastfeed.

Feeding your baby frequently helps maintain milk production and milk flow. Your pediatrician will likely encourage you to nurse your baby every 2 to 3 hours during the first few days after birth. But babies are babies and will latch whenever they want, for however long they want. Finding a breastfeeding position that is comfortable for you and your baby will help. You may also experience very sore nipples! (I highly recommend Silverette Nursing Cups to help alleviate discomfort.)

As your milk production begins to increase and your baby is getting more milk per feed, you may only need to nurse your baby every 3 to 4 hours.

If your baby is a great sleeper and your pediatrician isn’t concerned about weight gain – hooray! You may find yourself sleeping longer stretches more quickly. However, you’ll want to continue removing milk from your breasts overnight to continue encouraging milk production and to prevent uncomfortable engorgement, which can lead to mastitis.

It’s also important to acknowledge that breastmilk production is highest at night. Babies often want to nurse (and frequently) at night. Don’t get discouraged or think there is anything wrong with your baby if they aren’t sleeping through the night by a certain age, or continue to want to breastfeed to sleep. You’re doing great, and this is perfectly normal!

One common mistake new breastfeeding mamas make

New mamas may mistake a baby’s continued fussiness after a nursing session for hunger, when there are many reasons a baby could be fussy. Nursing is comforting for your baby. So it is completely normal for a baby to want to cluster feed, or use you as a pacifier even if they aren’t hungry. Removing this source of comfort will cause fussiness!

Remember! Breastfeeding is supply and demand. Therefore, limiting how frequently your baby latches or supplementing with formula can signal to your body it needs to reduce its milk production. This can become a slippery slope for maintaining or improving breastmilk production.

3. Practice your latch.

Did you know that after delivery, a newborn baby will instinctively crawl toward your nipples? (It’s true!)

Babies are born with an instinctive desire to nurse, but it takes practice to make breastfeeding successful. Newborns (and you!) will require A LOT of assistance latching correctly at first to help prevent nipple damage. It’s not as easy as many breastfeeding photos make it out to be. Getting the correct latch often takes multiple hands, breastfeeding support pillows and lots of practice finding the right position!

A good latch is so important for avoiding nipple damage for you, and for encouraging easier milk production. Lactation consultants who work at the hospital or the Mother/Baby Unit nursing staff can teach you how to latch your baby correctly. They also can demonstrate position suggestions based on what’s comfortable for you, your baby’s preference, and your breast size.

When you think you have your latch perfected, it’s a great idea to confirm you’re doing it correctly. Ask to see an LC immediately, or with any trouble to prevent frustration and nipple damage. Incorrect latches can cause blood blisters, sore nipples, and other unnecessary pain.

Is your baby latching correctly?

Your baby’s latch is deep enough if the spot between their nose and your breast forms a tiny triangle. It might seem as though your baby’s face is smushed. Don’t worry, your baby can breathe!

4. Consider using a breast pump.

Pumping can help alleviate engorgement for over-producing breasts. It also offers a way for mamas to provide breastmilk to their babies if they can’t breastfeed right away .

Sometimes, despite our best efforts or intentions, we’re unable to breastfeed right away. Or, we’re unable to produce the amount of milk we need. Other times, we may overproduce and suffer uncomfortable engorgement that we would do anything to alleviate.

Pumping with a breast pump can help all of these situations. Pumping:

supplies breastmilk to a baby who can’t immediately breastfeed (e.g., a baby in the NICU)
supplies breastmilk to a baby who may have difficulty latching (e.g., tongue, lip, or other oral tie)
gives you the opportunity to increase your milk production through “power pumping” without having to rely on formula supplementation
allows you to create a stash of milk that you can use to bottle feed your baby

There are so many types of pumps you can use. The most basic are milk collection cups , which catch milk that leaks from your breasts and would otherwise be wasted. Manual pumps gently suction to your breast and either catch your letdown milk hands-free, or have a manual squeeze-and-release lever . Electric pumps (I use the Spectra ) are covered by insurance and most efficiently remove larger quantities of milk. Wireless, hands-free pumps offer working mamas in limited-break professions the opportunity to pump with less hassle.

TO SUMMARIZE:

Milk collection cups have no suction, help prevent waste, and are best for collecting what already leaks.
Manual pumps have limited suction and are mostly used for drawing out letdown milk.
Electric pumps are “workhorse” pumps, usually used by working mothers who are away from their babies for long stretches and need the most efficient way to remove breastmilk regularly, and in large quantities.
Hands-free electric pumps are a good option for mothers who work in professions where pump breaks for traditional electric pumps won’t work (e.g., healthcare professionals, military, teachers, first-responders ).

5. Find a support system.

For as normal of a process as breastfeeding is, society sure has a lot of opinions about it! While breastfeeding is a cultural norm and widely supported in many countries, in the United States women frequently face criticism for breastfeeding. Breasts are often oversexualized in the media (and rarely depicted for their actual purpose). For mothers who fall into minority ethnic groups, breastfeeding negativity is rooted in systemic racism and lack of access to education and health resources.

Breastfeeding can be a difficult journey for a mama who feels unsupported by her partner, mother, mother-in-law, sisters, friends, and other members of her usual support system. And new mamas can be particularly vulnerable to criticism that question our parenting decisions, or make us feel as though we’re doing things wrong because we’re choosing to parent differently.

This is why it’s critical to find a breastfeeding support system of some kind, whether in a virtual community or through educational resources. La Leche League, lactation consultants, hospital support groups and even breastfeeding support groups on Facebook are all helpful ways to find other mamas who will support your breastfeeding goals.

Good luck, mama! I wish you all the best for a successful breastfeeding journey!

UK women’s experiences of breastfeeding and additional breastfeeding support: a qualitative study of Baby Café services

Rebekah fox.

NCT, Alexandra House, Oldham Terrace, London, W3 6NH UK

Sarah McMullen

Mary newburn.

Whilst 81 % of UK women initiate breastfeeding, there is a steep decline in breastfeeding rates during the early postnatal period, with just 55 % of women breastfeeding at six weeks. 80 % of these women stopped breastfeeding sooner than they intended, with women citing feeding difficulties and lack of adequate support. As part of efforts to increase breastfeeding continuation rates, many public and voluntary organisations offer additional breastfeeding support services, which provide practical support in the early postnatal period and beyond. This paper focuses on the qualitative experiences of UK users of Baby Café services to examine their experiences of breastfeeding and breastfeeding support.

The study was based upon in-depth interviews and focus groups with users of eight Baby Café breastfeeding support groups across the UK. Thirty-six interviews and five focus groups were conducted with a total of fifty-one mothers using the service. Interviews and group discussions were analysed using N Vivo software to draw out key themes and discussions.

Whilst each mother’s infant feeding journey is unique, reflecting her own personal circumstances and experiences, several themes emerged strongly from the data. Many women felt that they had been given unrealistic expectations of breastfeeding by professionals keen to promote the benefits. This left them feeling unprepared when they encountered pain, problems and relentlessness of early infant feeding, leading to feelings of guilt and inadequacy over their feeding decisions. Mothers valued the combination of expert professional and peer support provided by Baby Café services and emphasised the importance of social support from other mothers in enabling them to continue feeding for as long as they wished.

Conclusions

The research emphasises the need for realistic rather than idealistic antenatal preparation and the importance of timely and parent-centred breastfeeding support, particularly in the immediate postnatal weeks. The findings suggest that effective social support, combined with reassurance and guidance from skilled practitioners, can help women to overcome difficulties and find confidence in their own abilities to achieve their feeding goals. However, further work is needed to make sure such services are readily accessible to women from all sectors of the community.

Exclusive breastfeeding until six months of age is recommended by the World Health Organisation [ 1 ] as providing short and long term health benefits for both mothers and children. Whilst UK rates of breastfeeding initiation have risen from 62 % in 1990 to 81 % in 2010 [ 2 ], there remains a steep decline in breastfeeding rates during the early weeks, with 55 % of women still breastfeeding at six weeks and just 34 % at six months. The UK lags behind other western countries such as in Scandinavia, where 80 % of Norwegian mothers [ 3 ] and 68 % of Swedish mothers [ 4 ] are still breastfeeding at six months. Rates of exclusive breastfeeding are even lower, with just 23 % of UK women exclusively breastfeeding at six weeks and only 1 % by six months [ 2 ]. Much of this drop-off is unplanned, with 80 % of women who stopped feeding during the first six weeks saying they would have liked to continue for longer [ 2 ].

Problems such as inability to latch, sore or painful nipples and insufficient milk supply are frequently cited reasons for early breastfeeding cessation [ 2 ]. Women are often unprepared for the physical challenges of early breastfeeding [ 5 ] and feel that they are left to ‘learn the hard way’ due to lack of time, expertise or practical assistance from health professionals [ 6 ]. However, the broader causes are more complex, with breastfeeding prevalence linked to demographic and socio-cultural factors, such as mother’s age, ethnicity, education, profession, level of deprivation and personal or familial breastfeeding experience [ 2 , 7 ]. A long history of UK formula feeding and negative attitudes towards breastfeeding in public means that many women may not have had first-hand exposure to breastfeeding and may lack practical experience and support from relatives or friends [ 8 ]. Embodied experience of seeing friends or family successfully breastfeeding, or having breastfed a previous child, are important factors in motivating women to initiate and continue breastfeeding [ 8 , 9 ]. Conversely women from communities where formula feeding is seen as the norm are more likely to view breastfeeding as difficult and potentially embarrassing [ 10 , 11 ], and see the breast as a primarily sexual object [ 9 ]. For younger mothers, breastfeeding is often not widely accepted within their social circles and formula is seen as offering an ‘easier’ solution that enables them to share the burden of feeding with other family members [ 11 , 12 ].

Health promotion messages focusing upon the ‘breast is best’ message are often perceived as prescriptive and unhelpful in the lived reality of everyday relationships, where competing goals of immediate family well-being are often valued over the long term health benefits of exclusive breastfeeding [ 13 ]. Mothers frequently experience conflicting advice and pressures from health professionals, partners, family and friends to conform to social norms and expectations of ‘good motherhood’ [ 14 ] whether this be supplementation with formula where the baby is perceived as not gaining adequate weight, or to continue breastfeeding despite personal discomfort. Idealistic representations of breastfeeding during the antenatal period may mean that women do not prepare for the need for postnatal support [ 15 ]. Unrealistic promotion of breastfeeding as ‘natural’ and unproblematic [ 15 ] can lead to feelings of failure if women do not experience the breastfeeding relationship as harmonious or pleasurable [ 16 , 17 ]. Failure to continue breastfeeding can lead to ‘shattered expectations’ [ 18 ] and feelings of guilt and failure, in a society where breastfeeding is highly promoted in the public health agenda [ 13 , 14 ]. Mothers perceive moral judgement on their feeding methods regardless of how they feed their babies, for example by ‘risking’ the health of their babies by formula feeding [ 12 , 19 ] or exceeding limits of what some consider to be ‘acceptable’ breastfeeding behaviour, such as breastfeeding in public or for extended periods of time [ 20 ].

Whilst the health benefits of breastfeeding are now widely acknowledged, the lived reality of women’s everyday experiences means that idealistic feeding goals may be impractical [ 21 ]. Recent approaches to infant feeding support suggest the need to move away from ideas of one-off ‘choices’ to breastfeed to explore women’s experiences and decisions throughout their feeding journeys [ 15 , 21 ]. A shift in health policy has been recommended away from breastfeeding promotion, and towards providing practical and ongoing ‘mother-centred’ feeding support in the early postnatal period and beyond [ 15 ]. The need to focus upon relationship building and practical breastfeeding support is now widely recognised in both research and policy [ 22 , 23 ].

Various types of ‘additional’ breastfeeding support are currently available in the UK, including one-to-one support from midwives, health visitors, qualified breastfeeding counsellors or lay peer supporters [ 24 , 25 ], breastfeeding support groups [ 26 ], and telephone helplines [ 27 ]. Evidence for the effectiveness of these interventions is mixed, with recent UK trials showing limited positive results [ 28 ]. However, evidence suggests that women often value these services and they provide pyscho-social benefits for the mothers, peer supporters and professionals involved [ 25 ]. A recent Cochrane review of 52 trials of support for healthy breastfeeding mothers [ 29 ] found an overall effect of extra breastfeeding support (including all forms, lay and professional) in increasing the duration of both exclusive and any breastfeeding. Face-to-face support was found to be more effective than telephone support, and proactive support was found to be more effective than interventions where the mothers were required to initiate contact themselves [ 29 ]. However a qualitative study of women’s experiences of group based or individual peer support found that women preferred a group-based approach which normalised breastfeeding, and provided flexibility and a greater sense of empowerment and self-control [ 30 ]. One-to-one peer coaching was perceived as more intrusive and a greater risk to self-confidence, and lacked the net social and interactional gains of a group situation [ 30 ]. A systematic review of evidence from randomised control trials concluded that peer support interventions did not have a significant effect on increasing breastfeeding rates in high income countries, particularly the UK [ 24 ].

Timing of support plays a key role, with evidence from a 2006 maternity survey [ 31 ] suggesting that additional support in the first ten days after birth has a significant effect on breastfeeding rates. The sharpest drop-off in breastfeeding occurs during the first two days, so support during this initial period is crucial [ 32 ]. Intensity of support is also important with evidence suggesting that interventions involving several contacts between mother and supporter are more effective than one-off episodes of care [ 24 , 29 ]. Between four to eight contacts seems to provide an optimum effect [ 29 ], allowing the support to intervene at key points during the infant feeding journey [ 21 ]. Multi-channel interventions that are tailored to local contexts and populations, and involve both antenatal and postnatal contacts and continuity of care, are more likely to be effective [ 25 , 33 ]. However the success of these interventions is dependent on local conditions, including health service resources, motivation of staff and integration with mainstream services [ 26 ]. Engagement of mothers with support services can also be problematic. Older, more highly educated mothers are more likely to seek help with breastfeeding difficulties [ 34 ], whilst pro-active approaches may be perceived as pressurising and impact on women’s sense of self-efficacy [ 15 , 30 ].

This article focuses on the qualitative experiences of UK users of the Baby Café network of community based breastfeeding support services. These services offer a combination of expert one-to-one support from skilled professionals, combined with group-based social support from volunteers, peer supporters and other breastfeeding mothers. The paper examines women’s experiences of breastfeeding in contemporary Britain, support from health professionals, friends and family and the experience of accessing and using this particular model of breastfeeding support. The study identifies which elements of this support are seen to be effective and why, and considers how such services can be integrated with other forms of support to influence breastfeeding outcomes.

Settings and participants

The study was based upon in-depth interviews and focus groups with users of eight breastfeeding support groups, which were part of a UK network of ‘Baby Café’ services. The social model of support on which the service is based aims to combine mother-to-mother support in a welcoming, but protected, café style environment, with direct access to expert practical support for breastfeeding and referral pathways for additional clinical care where required. Services are delivered to a specific set of quality standards and group facilitators are either health professionals (e.g. midwives or health visitors) with specific experience or training in supporting breastfeeding women, or Association of Breastfeeding Mothers / Breastfeeding Network / La Leche League / NCT qualified breastfeeding counsellors, many of whom are also International Board Certified Lactation Consultants (IBCLC). Services are located in accessible community settings (e.g. children’s centres, health centres or community halls) and are available free of charge to all mothers needing support with infant feeding.

The study was designed and conducted in accordance with the Social Research Association’s ethical guidelines and research procedures. The study protocol was approved by the NCT ethical review committee prior to commencing the research, including review by two external academic advisors. An Evaluation Steering Group consisting of internal and external stakeholders, including support group facilitators, oversaw the conduct of the research, meeting four times throughout the duration of the project to advise on design, data collection and analysis.

The eight sites were selected to represent a variety of locations, settings, types of facilitator (health professional/breastfeeding counsellor) and length of time they had been running. Two sites were located in inner London, two in outer London, one in rural South East England, and one in a city and two in towns in Northern England. Support group facilitators were contacted in advance by the lead researcher (RF) to ask if they wished to take part in the project and other local staff informed of the research. In total nine sites were approached, with one declining to take part as the facilitator felt that their cramped location in a busy health centre would make it unsuitable for conducting potentially sensitive interviews.

Each site was visited separately on two occasions by the lead researcher (RF) to conduct individual interviews and focus groups. Participation was voluntary and respondents were given information sheets regarding the research and required to sign consent forms, understanding that all information would remain confidential and anonymous and they were free to withdraw from the research at any time. Thirty-six interviews and five focus groups (with between three and seven participants) were conducted with a total of fifty-one mothers using the service. Interviews and focus groups were chosen as suitable methods to elicit women’s feelings, behaviours and experiences. Individual interviews allowed for more in-depth exploration of sensitive issues, whilst focus groups were able to generate discussion of key issues and emerging themes.

The study was based upon convenience sampling and thus any mother present at the groups on the day of the visits was eligible to take part. The researcher used her judgement in not approaching women who were very obviously upset or struggling with acute breastfeeding difficulties, however several of these women did approach the researcher later in the session to speak about their experiences. In total sixty-three mothers were approached with fifty-one agreeing to participate. Mothers were given a choice of taking part in individual or group discussions (with seven taking part in both). The sample size was determined by availability of participants, with some Baby Cafés attracting a larger number of mothers than others. However at the end of the data collection period it was felt theoretical saturation had been reached and no further visits were required.

Data collection

Interviews were conducted by RF during the support group sessions (n = 41) or by telephone at a later date (n = 6). Five focus group discussions were facilitated by RF, either in a separate room during the Baby Café session (n = 3) or in the main room after the session had ended (n = 2). Focus groups were not possible at three locations due to lack of time or space. Interviews were conducted in a busy support group environment and therefore tended to be relatively brief, lasting between 6 and 52 min (mean = 27 min). Interviews were sometimes disrupted or terminated prematurely by staff arriving to provide episodes of support to the women, or by the baby’s requirements. Focus groups lasted between 35 and 78 min (mean = 52 min) and were less prone to disruption.

Interviews were semi-structured, allowing mothers to lead the discussion and spontaneously raise topics of importance to them. The interview schedule covered a broad range of topics relating to mothers’ experiences of breastfeeding and breastfeeding support, including their expectations versus realities, positives and negatives of breastfeeding, problems they had encountered, support they had received from health professionals, friends and family, experiences of seeking ‘additional’ breastfeeding support and using Baby Café.

Data analysis

All interviews and focus groups were digitally recorded and transcribed verbatim, then analysed using NVivo software [ 35 ] to draw out key themes and discussions. Transcripts were coded initially by RF using an inductive approach to draw out key themes emerging from the primary data. Transcripts were then re-read in more detail by members of the research team (RF, SM & MN) to refine these themes and coded further to produce higher level concepts emerging from the research. These codes were then checked by a second independent researcher VB (employed by NCT but not involved in the research project) and the interpretation of data discussed during face to face meetings and agreed between members of the research team (RF, SM & MN). Codes were cross-referenced to draw out common or contrasting examples and illustrative quotes to support the wider theories [ 36 ]. This type of analysis produces a rich qualitative description, detailing individual experiences and adding depth to inconclusive quantitative evidence on the effectiveness of breastfeeding support interventions.

Whilst each mother’s infant feeding journey is unique, reflecting her own personal circumstances and experiences, several themes emerged strongly from the data. Particularly for first time mothers, antenatal preparation was often described as setting unrealistic expectations of breastfeeding, leading to feelings of failure where this did not work out as expected. Both primiparous and multiparous women shared feelings of pressure, guilt and blame regarding their feeding experiences, and reported conflicting advice and varying levels of support from health professionals, friends and family. All women interviewed for the study were currently receiving additional breastfeeding support via Baby Café services and valued both the expert and social support provided, including the use of other mothers and peer supporters as ‘breastfeeding role models’.

In this section we firstly present the site and participant characteristics, before discussing these themes in more detail within the context of wider literature on the subject. The results are presented in two main sections: experiences of breastfeeding and experiences of additional breastfeeding support.

Site characteristics

The sites selected for the research aimed to cover a variety of locations, types of facilitator and length of time they had been established. All groups ran weekly (excluding public holidays) and were staffed by qualified facilitators, trained peer supporters and volunteers. Further characteristics of each Baby Café are shown in Table 1 below.

Characteristics of each Baby Café site

Participant characteristics

The study included both 33 primiparous and 18 multiparous women aged between 23 and 44 (mean age = 35). Mothers tended to be highly educated and in employment and all but one were living with a partner. Ten participants were born outside of the UK. Unsurprisingly the support groups located in inner London attracted the widest diversity of ethnicities and nationalities, reflecting the characteristics of the local population. Participant characteristics are shown in Table 2 below.

Experiences of breastfeeding

In this section findings in relation to experiences of breastfeeding are presented under four sub themes: antenatal education, realistic experiences, postnatal care and support from friends and family

Antenatal education: Unrealistic expectations

In line with findings of previous studies, many of the women interviewed felt that they had been given unrealistic expectations of breastfeeding by professionals keen to promote its health benefits [ 6 , 15 , 18 ] and expressed anger about the lack of preparation they had been given for potential difficulties.

In the beginning I expected it to be easy, because when you go to the antenatal classes and you watch these videos and you think ‘oh yeah it comes naturally’, it looks so easy, but then when comes to the real baby, it’s not like that, you have to work at it (Mother, age 29, first baby)

It’s a complete shock, you know, and your emotions are all over the place. No-one tells you. They don’t tell you that breastfeeding can be so difficult and you don’t realise… Maybe no-one can tell you, maybe it’s just impossible to ever really prepare you for what it’s going to be like (Mother, age 38, first baby)

Dominant discourses that portray breastfeeding as ‘easy’ and ‘instinctive’ left mothers with feelings of guilt and inadequacy at their inability to master a supposedly ‘natural’ skill.

I just remember being on the postnatal ward and feeling like everyone around me had their babies firmly attached to their boob except me, I just had her screaming and I was thinking ‘Oh God, it’s all gone wrong, what am doing? Is it just me?’ I mean I’m an intelligent person. Millions of women feed their babies this way. Why am I finding it so difficult? (Mother, age 31, first baby)

Lack of control over the situation contrasted with women’s views of themselves and undermined their sense of self-efficacy.

I don’t know if it’s the era that we live in now that women, maybe because we’re having babies older and we’re having our careers before our children, we have different expectations of how things are supposed to work and we’re used to a life where we’re totally in control and now all of a sudden we’re not (Mother, age 36, first baby).

Such experiences underline the need for realistic antenatal education [ 15 , 21 ] to adequately prepare mothers for the realities of breastfeeding and strategies for coping with the demands of a new baby.

If I knew what was to come or what I could expect to happen then I wouldn’t have freaked out so much. Because even with all the information that I had I was very, very unprepared, I wasn’t prepared for the pain, or the bleeding nipples, or the cluster feeding. I didn’t know that babies could feed for six hours! I just didn’t know it was possible (Mother, age 28, first baby)

Realistic experiences: Pressure, guilt and blame

Women felt that there was still a great deal of pressure upon mothers to breastfeed, but that this was not always backed up by adequate practical support. This led to guilt about making the ‘correct’ feeding decisions and how to do the ‘best’ for their baby [ 37 ].

I think there is a great deal of pressure, you know ‘breast is best’ and all that and I couldn’t help but feel that I was sort of, I wasn’t doing my job properly, if I didn’t at least give it my absolute best shot (Mother, age 34, first baby).

I think it took four or five weeks for her to regain her birth weight….and you kind of feel really guilty, don’t you? Like maybe I’m making the wrong choice here – maybe I’m being selfish by not giving her a bottle (Mother, age 30, second baby).

Mothers felt they had to justify their decisions in order to maintain a sense of their own moral position as a ‘good mother’ [ 14 , 38 ].

You get the feeling that mixed feeding is kind of looked down upon, but I just felt I wasn’t producing enough milk, he was a big baby and he was always hungry, I felt it was the right thing to do (Mother, age 37, first baby).

Mothers may also frame their feeding decisions within a context of ‘biographical repair’ [ 38 ] perhaps making up for previous ‘failed’ feeding experiences.

My first baby I was feeding for one month. I didn’t have the support at the time. I was twenty and far away from my family. I couldn’t understand the pain. Now I am older and more mature. I know that the baby is more important than the pain, somehow it’s easier (Mother, age 25, second baby)

I know it sounds silly but I’ve got a great sense of pride and achievement because I didn’t manage so well with [Baby 1] and I’ve managed a lot better with [Baby 2]. I feel like I’m doing better for my baby because I know it’s the best thing for him. I know that I’m providing that. When I stopped early last time I felt like I’d let him down (Mother, age 24, second baby)

Postnatal care: Conflicting advice and undermining of confidence

Many women expressed dissatisfaction with routine postnatal care, reporting that advice was often inadequate, contradictory and undermined their confidence in their feeding abilities [ 6 , 39 , 40 ]. In particular the notion that ‘breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt’ was found to be unhelpful where women were experiencing problems with sore and cracked nipples.

In the hospital they kept repeating that it shouldn’t be painful, if you are doing it right it shouldn’t hurt. And that wasn’t particularly helpful, because it was painful for me (Mother, age 32, first baby)

‘Disconnected encounters’ [ 41 ] with health professionals could leave women disheartened and afraid to ask for further support.

They said “Oh if you’ve got any issues, just call us”, so I called somebody and the lady that came, she wasn’t a midwife, she was a nursery nurse or something, this older lady and she just kind of snapped at me “Well of course of hurts if you’ve never done it before!” (Mother, age 28, first baby)

Staff could give very contradictory messages, promoting breastfeeding on the one hand, but also quick to resort to alternative feeding methods.

I think they’re understaffed in hospitals, they just don’t have the time to sit with you, and it takes a lot longer to spend the time to get you breastfeeding, rather than handing you a bottle…(Mother, age 33, first baby)

The midwives, obviously, are very focused on the babies putting on weight and not having to go back into hospital, so they just push you to top them up with formula (Mother, age 24, second baby)

Mothers felt that they had to be very determined to achieve their feeding goals in the face of pain and limited support, often relying on their own embodied knowledge that something ‘wasn’t right’.

They weren’t doing home visits on Christmas day so I just felt totally abandoned. I took her back into hospital on Boxing Day and insisted that they helped me. I thought things weren’t right with her… she wasn’t feeding and kept getting really upset. I kept on calling them and asking them to come and help me, but you have to just be so determined to do it. It’s a real struggle (Mother, age 31, first baby).

Such experiences emphasise the need for adequate resources and training of healthcare staff to support breastfeeding women and the importance of mother-centred and personal interaction skills [ 15 ]. Women particularly valued professionals who were supportive, non-judgemental and enabled them to make their own decisions and build upon existing support from friends and family [ 13 , 41 ].

The midwives in hospital were really good because I just felt like I wasn’t alone and they kind of supported my husband to support me, he helped me once we got home with positioning and, you know, he would say, oh you remember about this position, why don’t you try that sort of thing (Mother, age 33, first baby)

Women also valued the opportunity to build personal relationships, emphasising the need for continuity of care in the antenatal and postnatal periods [ 25 , 33 ].

I think my midwife has been very supportive and very helpful, she was the midwife that happened to be doing the antenatal classes that we went to in the NHS so that was good because we’d already developed a relationship. She was also a very practical midwife, so it was actually the sort of person I needed to say it quite bluntly on occasions (Mother, age 31, first baby)

Support from friends and family

It is well recognised that mother’s immediate social and cultural circles have a strong influence on her decisions to initiate and continue breastfeeding [ 8 , 9 , 21 ]. Participants in the study came from a variety of cultural and social backgrounds with different histories of infant feeding practices. Mothers whose immediate family and friends had not breastfed themselves, or had bad experiences of breastfeeding, were sometimes unsupportive of their decision, or attempted to undermine their efforts.

When I first tried to breastfeed my mother was quite shocked because she didn’t feed, she doesn’t agree with the idea of breastfeeding, you know like ‘if I was meant to breastfeed, to have something sucking on my nipples, then I would have been born a cow’ (Mother, age 27, first baby)

All me friends were formula fans, and they were all like ‘oh, just stop doing it’ I was like ‘oh no, I want to carry on’. But everything from friends was like ‘you can stop, you can stop … just get some get formula and you can stop’ (Mother, age 29, first baby)

Even women who may initially have felt social pressure to breastfeed found that once they reached a certain point in their feeding journey, there was an equal pressure to ‘move on’ to formula as part of a ‘normal’ progression, highlighting continued negative conceptions in UK society of women who breastfeed for extended periods of time [ 20 ].

I think, in my NCT group now, there’s only one other mum still breastfeeding and they all say, you know, if you give her formula, you’ll get a better night’s sleep, and that kind of thing, so it’s hard to…there’s pressure on people to breastfeed, but there’s also pressure on breastfeeding mums not to… (Mother, age 34, first baby)

I don’t have any family around here, apart from [partners] family. They’ve been really unhelpful, to the point where I’ve got really frustrated with them ‘Oh, she’s still having it, she’s six months now, you don’t have to breastfeed her, she just needs her food now’ ‘why are you still breast feeding her all the time?’ (Mother, age 26, first baby)

Other mothers found that partners, friends and family had been key in supporting them to keep going when they encountered breastfeeding issues.

Well, in the end it was my mum, when I was having problems, she remembered the problems that she’d had feeding me, because I was her first, and that the only thing that had got it started for her was nipple shields, so she went out and bought some nipple shields for me, because no one had suggested that I try them. No one at all. But that was what I needed to actually get it to work (Mother, age 31, first baby)

However even supportive partners and other family members could question mother’s determination to breastfeed where they perceived the mother as not coping well or were concerned about her welfare.

My in-laws were going ‘give her a bottle, it’s not worth it’ and [partner] was so worried about me. There was a day when we got the breast pump and I was sat in the bed in tears, and [partner] was knelt beside me trying to express milk from my left boob, and I’ve got her on the other boob and my nipples were red raw bleeding…every time I could see her coming, I pulled back a bit, and it killed, it was so painful…but we wanted to do it such a lot, we just kept going (Mother, age 26, first baby)

Feeding decisions are not individual one-off choices but situated within mothers personal social and cultural situations, with various ‘significant others’ [ 13 ] playing an important role in decisions about breastfeeding initiation and continuation [ 15 ]. Therefore it is important to continue to work to change wider cultural perceptions of breastfeeding and offer ‘family-centred’ support that works within women’s own social networks to support them at pivotal points within their feeding journeys [ 13 ].

Experiences of ‘additional’ breastfeeding support

In this section we present the results relating to women’s experiences of additional breastfeeding support provided by Baby Café services. The results are presented under five sub-themes: seeking breastfeeding support, expert support, social support, breastfeeding role models and breastfeeding as a journey.

Seeking breastfeeding support

All women involved in the study were attending a Baby Café breastfeeding support group at the time of the interviews and were therefore likely to be those who were more determined to breastfeed and possessed the ‘social capital’ [ 42 ] to seek support and advice. Some of the mothers had already sought support from other services such as telephone helplines.

What I did beforehand was I rang the Breastfeeding Helpline and they were really, really good as well, and that’s kind of what made me think you know what, there’s different responses to how you feed your baby, conventional formula versus breastfed, and I thought I need to find a place to go to where I’ve got likeminded people and that grew my confidence to be honest as a new mum and as a breastfeeding mum (Mother, age 30, first baby)

Whilst contact with other breastfeeding support services may sometimes have been the impetus to attend, women valued the face-to-face element of contact with a skilled breastfeeding professional [ 29 ].

You need that one to one; you need to see somebody face to face. Sometimes, doing it on the phone, what you’re telling somebody, it might not be exactly how it is…Somebody like [group facilitator] can say ‘Well, actually, I can see that…What you need to do is change this, or that…you just can’t get that on the phone… (Mother, age 35, first baby)

Where Baby Cafés were well embedded within the local health service, or combined with other forms of support such as peer supporters on hospital wards, women often found it more straightforward to seek support [ 25 ].

Well you got a leaflet about all the support groups from the hospital and when the health visitor came to have a check she mentioned the group and told me about how good it is, so when I was struggling I thought I’d try it out (Mother, age 35, first baby)

It was one of the Breast Buddies (peer supporters) at the hospital who suggested it, because I was saying to her ‘oh, I think I’ve had enough…I think I’m just going to give up and go onto bottles’ and she was like ‘no no no, go to the Baby Café and have a chat with them first’ (Mother, age 27, first baby)

Convenience was also a factor, with women often preferring services in a familiar location that they may be visiting for other purposes.

I’ve heard about this place. I knew things were going on here, because I used to come and see my midwife next door. And they have other groups going on so you can just pop in and say hello, it’s not just all about the breastfeeding (Mother, age 30, second baby)

Many of the women were initially anxious about attending a group situation and unsure of what to expect.

I was nervous the first time, yeah. Not knowing what it were like…I thought it would be like a café in the middle of town, that was my visualisation of it, you know, and all these people sat there. It’s just the unknown I suppose, you’re not really sure what to expect (Mother, 27, first baby)

You’re tired because you’ve only just given birth and your child can’t feed and you know, you’re suddenly, it’s the very first time you’re supposed to just get your boobs out in public … it can be quite nerve-wracking and yeah, I totally see why people are put off to be honest (Mother, 30, first baby)

Reticence about first attending may particularly affect younger or less confident mothers, who might feel that they do not ‘fit in’ with the other mothers.

I was feeling I had the baby too early. I just look around and there was old mothers at mature age. I was really feeling, not maybe embarrassed, but anxious about them. Like maybe I shouldn’t be here, I’m never going to find any mother in my age (Mother, 25, second baby)

However once they had made the initial effort mothers often felt that the group provided a supportive environment to increase their sense of breastfeeding self-efficacy.

I think it gives you a sort of safe haven to start if you’re a bit uncomfortable about doing it in public, to do it where other people understand what it’s like to feel self-conscious and to struggle and, you know, but it’s still a public place and so you get that bit of confidence (Mother, age 31, first baby)

Expert support

Reasons for attendance ranged from appreciating general support and reassurance to needing help with breastfeeding ‘crises’, where women often felt on the brink of being unable to continue.

I can honestly say at ten days old, I hadn’t slept, I was full of milk, [baby] was screaming, I walked in and just sat there and cried for two hours and just said if somebody doesn’t sort this out I am going home and I am going to give her a bottle (Mother, age 29, third baby)

For some women the visit to the Baby Café was seen as a ‘turning point’ in their breastfeeding relationship.

I was struggling for him to latch on. Couldn’t get any help from anywhere, I was absolutely end of my tether, beside myself, and on the verge of giving up, so I got a friend to bring me up here and [facilitator] took one look at him and diagnosed a tongue tie, arranged for me to have it snipped and gave me some tips on positioning. Within minutes, I thought ‘You know, actually, I think I can do this’ (Mother, age 36, first baby)

A metasynthesis of women’s perceptions and experiences of breastfeeding support found that women valued an ‘authentic presence’ where they developed a trusting relationship or rapport with the supporter, who took time to ensure their needs were met, provided an empathetic and caring approach and affirmation of the mothers own abilities [ 41 ].

I’ve always got the help. Always. No matter how silly the question is, they’ve always got an answer. And its nice because they do remember your name, they do remember your baby, and it just feels, it feels nice (Mother, 35, first baby)

Expert knowledge and experience is also seen as key, with women valuing the presence of a skilled facilitator [ 30 ].

I think the advice you get here is so much better than that you get from GP’s or health visitors, who sometimes don’t seem to know that much about breastfeeding. They are experts in their field and they are mums themselves, which is always, experience speaks volumes (Mother, age 34, first baby)

Social Support

The informal atmosphere of Baby Café and the provision of refreshments were seen as providing a more socially acceptable environment in which to discuss their concerns [ 30 ].

I was a bit kind of apprehensive when I first started coming along ‘cos I don’t know, I don’t trust Health Visitors so I was thinking it would be kind of a bit kind of clinical because it was held in a health centre. Yeah, but I was just really pleased the first day I came, I really enjoyed it and it just felt really welcoming (Mother, age 33, first baby)

I think that the minute you walk in and somebody says ‘hello’ with an open arm and a cup of tea and a biscuit and when you’re a new mum and you’re not sleeping well, you’ve got feeding issues, you’re tired, you just want somebody to say ‘would you like a cup of tea and tell me all about it’ (Mother, age 31, first baby)

Involvement of partners or other supporters also increased mother’s sense of self-confidence.

We thought fathers were not allowed to stay here, but then [facilitator] said ‘no, we welcome dads as well’ so…he stayed and was chatting to everyone, and I felt really comfortable (Mother, age 29, first baby)

Social support from other mothers was seen as an important component of the service, providing benefits over and above ‘professional’ assistance with breastfeeding [ 30 ].

To be honest, most of the support I get on a day to day basis is from other mums. That’s been the key support in getting through the first three months, just getting out and seeing people (Mother, age 32, first baby)

This was particularly the case for women who were isolated from friends and family.

I find it really helpful because there’s nobody else to ask…I mean all my family’s back in Sri Lanka, so I don’t have my mum or a sister whatever to rely on, to ask for simple things, because when it’s your first child you don’t know what to do (Mother, age 35, first baby)

Breastfeeding role models

The social model of the service meant that women could attend regularly if they wished and created a space for the sharing of infant feeding experience. Mothers found it helpful to be around other breastfeeding women, especially those with older babies who were further on in their feeding journey. This role modelling had a positive impact on those women who were still at the stage of getting breastfeeding established, and gaining confidence about feeding in public places;

I do think it’s quite important, that here, you can speak to other mums with older babies and see it does get better, because if you’re all sat here with newborns, all crying, all saying you can’t do it. You want to see that it will get better, to speak to a mum that says its better (Mother, age 30, first baby)

I got really nice help from the previous peer supporter that was here. She had an older baby and when you have a younger baby, it was nice to see an older baby breastfeed successfully…Oh! She does it with such comfort, makes it seem so effortless. It was a really nice thing to see… (Mother, age 34, first baby)

Such environments also played an important role in normalising the feeding of older babies, for mothers who wished to follow the guidance of complimentary breastfeeding for two years and beyond [ 20 ].

I kind of want to go past a year now and to come here and meet other people who like openly are like “Oh yeah, I’m still feeding my three year old” I’m a little bit like “Are you? Okay, great”. I’m shocked, I will admit it, I’m a little bit shocked, but I’m also like “Okay, other people are doing this, I can do it too” (Mother, age 30, first baby).

Breastfeeding as a journey

Many of the women interviewed for the study were already in later stages of their breastfeeding journey and looking back upon the initial ‘investment and adjustment’ period [ 15 ] with the benefit of hindsight. This gave them a chance to reflect upon their feeding journeys, considering what had made a difference at pivotal moments.

I think in the grand scheme of things they weren’t really anything too major, it was all major in my own head because the pain was unbearable so like latching, unlatching, being in the shower was extremely painful, the water touching…and then of course, you know, he was feeding around the clock, you know, hour and a half for a feed, you know, your whole life is breastfeeding. But once you feel more confident, I think groups like this encourage you to just feed your baby in public, that kind of thing and once you know that you can go out and feed your baby then you can get your life back again (Mother, age 30, first baby)

Mothers found that they had often made peace with their feeding decisions and overcome some of the early challenges.

It’s got a lot easier now, but he’s still not having enough, so I give him the bottle as well. But I’m still breastfeeding, so it’s going well. He latches on well. He’s happy and I’m happy (Mother, age 32, first baby)

However breastfeeding constantly brings new challenges, for example in relation to weaning or returning to work, emphasising the importance of ongoing support [ 23 ]. Such support is necessary to enable women to meet (or even extend) their breastfeeding goals, and increase continuation rates in line with WHO standards [ 1 ].

I was always dead set on breastfeeding, but I’ve gone through spits and spurts of ‘Oh can I keep this up?’ because it is quite a demanding role, and coming here has made me think I actually can, because you can see all the mums here, you can speak to them. I’d always said ‘Right, when she goes into her own room at three months then I’ll stop’, but I haven’t stopped, I said ‘At six months I’ll stop’, and she’s almost that, I’m not planning to stop. My next goal’s a year (Mother, age 29, first baby)

The research shows that despite continued efforts to increase UK breastfeeding initiation and continuation rates, mothers still face substantial social, cultural, practical and physical barriers to successful breastfeeding [ 2 , 13 , 20 ]. Whilst policy and best practice such as the UNICEF Baby Friendly Initiative are steadily improving standards of care for breastfeeding mothers in UK hospitals [ 22 ], understaffing and lack of resources mean that women are not always able to access the support that they require from routine health care [ 6 ]. Prevalence of formula feeding amongst recent generations means that women may lack cultural support or practical breastfeeding expertise within their immediate social network [ 8 , 9 ]. Antenatal contacts that set unrealistic expectations of the breastfeeding relationship can leave mothers unprepared for the lived experience of the early weeks and common breastfeeding problems [ 15 , 18 ].

Whilst evidence on the effectiveness of ‘additional’ breastfeeding support interventions is limited [ 24 , 28 , 29 ], qualitative findings suggest that these can have a positive impact on women’s infant feeding journeys and contribute to the duration and quality of their feeding experiences [ 30 , 31 ]. This study has focused upon one particular form of community-based support provided in the form of weekly Baby Café drop-ins facilitated by skilled health professionals or breastfeeding counsellors, with the help of trained peer supporters. Findings suggest that women value the social aspect of the Baby Café service and gain a great deal from interactions with other breastfeeding mothers, as well as from specialist expertise to address specific feeding difficulties [ 30 ]. Group environments normalise breastfeeding and can contribute to increased duration, providing ongoing support and assistance during the ‘pivotal points’ in a woman’s infant feeding journey [ 13 ] and enabling them to form continuing relationships.

However breastfeeding groups such as Baby Café tend to attract older, more advantaged mothers and those with a strong initial commitment to breastfeeding [ 30 ]. Motivation to breastfeed can be an important factor in accessing support services, with evidence from the 2010 Infant Feeding Survey [ 2 ] showing that whilst the majority of women received information about voluntary breastfeeding organisations, only a minority accessed them. The women interviewed for this study showed a strong commitment and determination to breastfeed, often continuing despite initial or ongoing difficulties and possessing both the motivation and ‘social capital’ to seek out additional support.

Conversely those women who lack initial commitment to breastfeeding or role models amongst their immediate social circles may be more likely to cease breastfeeding rather than proactively seek support. Group environments may appear daunting to younger or less confident women, particularly where they perceive themselves as not ‘fitting in’, or lacking in confidence to breastfeed in public or seek professional advice. Thus such interventions ideally need to combined with alternative forms of support, including proactive contact from peer supporters in the antenatal and immediate postnatal periods [ 25 ], and additional telephone and one-to-one support where required. Community support services need to be well integrated with local health and social care systems and promoted effectively to ensure that all women are able to access support when they need it.

Strengths and limitations

The strengths of this research are that it provides an in-depth qualitative examination of women’s experiences of breastfeeding and using a particular form of community based breastfeeding support (Baby Café), adding depth to inconclusive evidence on the effectiveness of such interventions from UK randomised control trials.

The limitations of the study include a risk of bias due to the researchers being employed by NCT rather than an independent evaluator. This risk is minimised through the active involvement of external academic advisors on NCT’s Research Advisory Group, who have commented at all stages of the research and the fact that the research team are not involved in the delivery of NCT or Baby Café services. However it is recognised that their position within the organisation may influence their perceptions of breastfeeding support.

The research was conducted within a Baby Café setting, with group facilitators present (though not directly involved in the interviews / focus groups). Therefore mothers may have been less likely to report negative opinions or experiences of Baby Café services. The study sample is not intended to be representative of UK mothers as a whole, but of those accessing a particular support service. While the sample is diverse in terms of ethnicity, first language and place of birth, it is biased towards older mothers and those with higher levels of education and employment. Such groups are a) more likely to initiate breastfeeding, b) more likely to seek out support for breastfeeding difficulties and c) more likely to be willing to be involved in research interviews. Thus findings of the research cannot be generalised to the overall population and highlight the need to attract a more diverse range of mothers to such services or find alternative means of support for mothers from less advantaged populations.

The research emphasises the need for realistic rather than idealistic antenatal preparation and the importance of timely and parent-centred breastfeeding support, particularly in the immediate postnatal weeks. The findings suggest that effective social support, combined with reassurance and guidance from skilled practitioners, can help women to overcome difficulties and find confidence in their own abilities to achieve their feeding goals. However, further work is needed to ensure that services such as Baby Café are readily accessible to women from all sectors of the community.

Acknowledgments

The authors would like to thank the mothers, peer supporters and facilitators who took part in the interviews and focus groups for this research. They would like to thank Catherine Pardoe and Julie Williams, Baby Café founders, for their assistance in the design and conduct of the study and the Evaluation Steering Group members, Jennie Yelverton, Margaret Reid, Charles Gray and Helen Hunter for their input at all stages of the research. Thanks are also due to Vanita Bhavnani for her independent review of the transcript coding, Lynn Balmforth for her assistance with library services and NCT for providing the funding for this research to take place. They would also like to thank the reviewers Rhona McInnes and Rachael Spencer for their helpful input on improving the content and structure of the article.

Competing interests

The research was funded by NCT as part of an internal evaluation of Baby Café services. Baby Café is part of the NCT charity group and provides a network of breastfeeding drop-ins that are funded locally through community fundraising or as a commissioned health service.

Authors’ Information

RF is Senior Research and Evaluation Officer at NCT, SM is Head of Research and Quality at NCT, MN is NCT’s Strategic Ambassador.

Authors’ contributions

RF contributed to the design of the study, conducted data collection and analysis, and drafted the paper. SM contributed to the analysis and writing up. MN initiated the study and contributed to the design, analysis and writing up. All authors read and approved the final manuscript.

Contributor Information

Rebekah Fox, Email: [email protected] .

Sarah McMullen, Email: [email protected] .

Mary Newburn, Email: [email protected] .

Ciara Shares a ‘Sad’ Update as Russell Wilson’s Wife’s Breastfeeding Journey Is ‘Coming to an End’

“Motherhood has just shown me there’s really nothing we can’t do as women. I feel really empowered having my kids in my life. By far, my greatest accomplishment is having them,” Ciara stated to PureWow some time back.

In the NFL’s spotlight, where athletes are revered like gladiators, it’s the human moments that truly resonate. Ciara’s candid reflection on the closing in of the end of her breastfeeding journey with her youngest daughter is a poignant reminder that NFL families face the same milestones as ours.

Ciara Wilson, renowned singer, and Russell Wilson’s partner shared a personal moment that many parents know all too well—the end of breastfeeding. In a dance studio, she posted an old TikTok to her Instagram stories, clad in a black hoodie, with a caption that read, “Sad this is coming to an end.”

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“I am pumping right now. You’re on set, getting to work, but Mama’s got to do what Mama’s got to do. By the way, I have stains on my shirt, too. The life,” Ciara expressed, giving us a glimpse into her life as a working mother and NFL wife.

Russell Wilson, now with the Steelers, has been a pillar of support. He’s been seen in a video recently, carefully handling Ciara’s breast milk, playfully warning, “Don’t drop it!” —a light-hearted moment that shows the depth of their partnership. “Babe helping me 🙂 when breastfeeding is life!” Ciara expressed in a video where Russel Wilson could be seen assisting her in handling their daughter.

The conclusion of breastfeeding is a profound moment for any mother, symbolizing the end of an intimate chapter and the beginning of another. The candid acknowledgment of the stains on her shirt is not just a personal anecdote but a universal experience that resonates with mothers everywhere. Ciara and Russell Wilson welcomed their third child, Amora Princess Wilson last year December, heralding new family dynamics and the evolution of their roles as parents.

Further, Ciara’s recent pictures also drop a reminder of the time Brittany Mahomes shared insight into her breastfeeding journey, giving a glimpse of the special bond of motherhood.

Brittany Mahomes sets the stone for sharing breastfeeding journey

The narrative of breastfeeding within the NFL community is further enriched by the experiences of Brittany Mahomes, who has openly discussed her special journey. “Last feed of breast milk today 😭,” she began the post which came out in 2021 just before Sterling turned 10 months. The post had the caption written over a photo of Sterling — and a bag of breast milk.

“Very emotional lol did it 10 months (last two months just exclusively pumping), but I was just ready for it to be done, but also like why is this so hard?” In 2023, after giving birth to her son Bronze, Mahomes also shared her muti-tasking abilities as a mother. Featuring a picture of herself on a yoga mat, the QB’s wife had added, “Pilates & pumping, it’s a good time 😎,” to the caption.

These precious candid moments from Brittany Mahomes and Ciara Wilson are what make them so relatable to the audience, giving the public a glimpse into their real life.

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Sanu Abraham

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Draya Michele shows off rapid weight loss, details ‘easy’ postpartum recovery after welcoming baby No. 3

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Draya Michele showed off her rapid weight loss and “easy” postpartum recovery less than two weeks after welcoming a daughter with NBA star Jalen Green.

On Wednesday, the “Basketball Wives” alum — born Andraya Michele Howard — took to her Instagram Stories, showing herself walking on the treadmill at only 10 days postpartum.

“A quick 20 min walk,” she wrote alongside a snap of her workout summary showing she walked 0.83 miles. “Not too much.”

Draya Michele showing off her baby bump.

Michele, 39, then showed off how much weight she lost since giving birth to her third child.

In the clip, the former reality star, who wore a two-piece gray-and-black sports bra and leggings, walked over to the treadmill, grabbed her jacket and put it on while showing off her flat stomach and larger backside.

“If you’re wondering where my baby weight went … you see where the hell it went,” she wrote atop the clip.

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After sharing videos of her receiving a lymphatic massage, Michele sent a message to other moms who may compare their postpartum journey to hers.

“Not that I need to explain but I am breastfeeding (for the first time) and this recovery has been extremely easy on my body,” she wrote.

“I dropped weight rapidly and stopped bleeding quickly. And I believe it’s from breastfeeding. Again – moms – do what’s best for you and follow your doctors orders.”

Last Friday, Michele announced that she and Green, 22, had welcomed their first child together.

She did not reveal the name of her newborn daughter, bbut she did share a picture of the infant’s adorable feet.

The Mint Swim founder shocked the world when she announced she was pregnant with her third child in honor of International Women’s Day in March due to her and the Houston Rockets player’s age gap.

Though she did not tag or name the father of her child in the post, NBA star Kyle Kuzma congratulated both Michele and Green in the comments section of the post.

Michele is also mom to son Kniko, 22, and Jru, 7, from previous relationships.

Meanwhile Green welcomed his first child with a 23-year-old woman named Myah Lakopo in February.

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From losing mother to stopping breastfeeding: What truly inspired Gugu's weight loss journey

Actress Gugu Gumede had an inspiring body transformation, and she recently lifted the lid on it on her YouTube page
The Uzalo star shared what inspired her, from her mother's death to stopping her breastfeeding duties
Gugu Gumede went under the knife for a procedure called vertical sleeve gastrectomy surgery

Actress Gugu Gumede has one of the most noticeable weight loss journeys in Mzansi celebville.

Gugu Gumede on her inspirational weight loss journey

Actress Gugu Gumede shed 30 kg in just four months. On her YouTube channel, she spoke about how this came about and why she decided to put her foot down and work on her body.

The Uzalo star shared that it started with her mother's death, which placed her in a devastating state mentally. Gugu shared that she had stopped engaging with her followers on social media and only focused on work.

Her mother passed away when she was still pregnant. so she made more time for herself. When she moved on, she welcomed her newborn baby and stayed away from social media even more. This was also to protect her even more.

Why Gugu Gumede focused more on her weight

Gugu Gumede also mentioned how she stopped breastfeeding and started to gain a lot of weight. The star admitted that she did not know any better and nobody had informed her.

When she noted that her weight started impacting on her overall health, Gugu Gumede took a stand.

Gumede opened up about the pros and cons of vertical sleeve gastrectomy surgery, a weight loss procedure that allowed her to lose 30 kg in just four months.

Check out her Instagram post below:

Cyan Boujee travels to Turkey

In a previous report from Briefly News , controversial influencer and DJ Cyan Boujee jetted off to Istanbul, Turkey. Boujee shared a series of videos on her Instagram story, tagging the weight-loss surgery and plastic surgery clinic called Hermes Clinics.

Many of her fans speculated that she was going to get her third BBL surgery in Turkey.

Mzansi expressed concerns over Cyan's decision, saying she will ruin her body.

From losing mother to stopping breastfeeding: What truly inspired Gugu's weight loss journey

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Is our breastfeeding journey over? : r/breastfeeding
Is our breastfeeding journey over? My baby turns 1 exactly two weeks from today. She was exclusively breastfed for the first 10 months, and then we started introducing a bottle of formula at night so that my husband could help with bedtime. There was an adjustment period and she wasn't too confident in the bottle until more recently.
Is my journey over?
Breastfeeding journey ending. January 23, 2024 | by JenniferMolnar. So I'm having a really hard time coming to terms that my breastfeeding journey is over. I've been trying since day one but I just couldn't produce enough for my little girl so we have done both formula and breastfeeding . I've had trouble latching...
My journey is over! : r/breastfeeding
My journey is over! I made it to my goal of 6 months! I know that is a lot shorter than many on here, but nonetheless I am proud of myself. ... **This is a community to encourage, support, and educate parents nursing babies/children through their breastfeeding journey. Partners seeking advice and support are also welcome here.**
I am sad to end our breastfeeding journey—but so ready, too
Starting to wean my last child from breastfeeding feels like the end of an era. I am very emotional about it. It's hard to fathom that this is something I will never, ever, have the opportunity to do again. Because it has truly been one of the greatest honors of my life. But even though it's sad and a bit overwhelming, I am ready.
How did you know your journey was over? : r/breastfeeding
**This is a community to encourage, support, and educate parents nursing babies/children through their breastfeeding journey. Partners seeking advice and support are also welcome here.** Members Online
Ending your breastfeeding journey: some approaches to parent-led
A breastfeeding supporter can help you reflect on your decision, as well as help you take some practical steps to get the process started. Every family's journey will be different because every child and parent's relationship to the breast is different. There is no 'one size fits all' approach to ending breastfeeding.
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What it's like breastfeeding a toddler. Breastfeeding a baby for the first time came with its own set of trials. My oldest son had a poor latch, which can cause split nipples, and it nearly led me to quit. With my second, we developed thrush (which honestly felt 10 times worse than the split nipples). Yet breastfeeding toddlers is a different ...
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By far, the hardest part of my journey with breastfeeding has been the end. After more than a decade of breastfeeding, my last one has weaned. It is so exciting to not have to worry about any of the supply issues, but I miss it terribly at the same time.
The Reality of My Breastfeeding Journey
The Reality of My Breastfeeding Journey. Being a new parent is exciting, but it's not always sunshine and rainbows. Former patient and mom, Kate Zurenko, provides a first-person account of her breastfeeding journey and struggles. August 26, 2019 10:04 AM. Author | Kate Zurenko
Learn, Start, Overcome, and Thrive: Your Breastfeeding Journey
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My Breastfeeding Journey Ended-And I Wasn't Ready
The reasons for this can be many, but the outcome is often the same: a range of negative emotions. Anger, frustration, guilt, shame and grief. Motherly Digital Classes. Ready, Set, Latch! $99. Welcome to the best breastfeeding class for new and expectant parents! Rebecca Ellison's essential research-based, expert-taught, comprehensive class ...
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This can all impact the breastfeeding journey and make the process tough at the beginning. ... Amey said that it can be helpful for a mom to lay in bed with her baby while a partner watches over them, offering safety and support while still allowing mom to be with the baby. ...
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Every mama's breastfeeding journey eventually comes to an end. Here are our tips on how to wean your child. ... Slowly shortening and reducing breastfeeding sessions over the course of a few weeks or months is the best way to go when possible. The main reason? Gradually reducing breastfeeding sessions is a gentle way for your infant to adjust ...
Ending my Breastfeeding Journey
Ending my Breastfeeding Journey. whitecheddar34. May 23, 2024 at 10:33 AM. The end of my journey is coming so close yet i wish it would last a little longer. Motherhood looks so different the second time around, Two times busier, two times more exhausted, two times harder. Feeding for two is a lot harder this time around since I am responsible ...
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Breastfeeding is a journey. Are you pregnant and preparing to breastfeed? Have you just started to breastfeed? Are you facing some bumps in the road? No matter where you are on your breastfeeding journey, WIC Breastfeeding Support has resources that can help! Explore the Stages of Breastfeeding to find information, learn how to overcome common ...
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Sometimes, there isn't even a choice. Wherever your breastfeeding journey takes you, it is uniquely yours. Some breastfeeding journeys last months, others last days or weeks. Four mamas open up about their journeys and struggles with breastfeeding. ... Over many tears and feelings of guilt, I finally made the decision to give up trying to ...
PDF Your Breastfeeding Journey
used to, but it helps breastfeeding get started. Many babies nurse on a regular schedule when they get older. Line Up Help . Set up your support system now, for after your baby is born! BREASTFEEDING IS A JOURNEY . During the first stages when a baby may be a high risk. Think About Breastfeeding . Breastfeeding is even more important for moms with
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Discover 'The Power of Breastfeeding: My Journey,' where I share my personal experiences and insights into the transformative journey of breastfeeding. This ...
My journey is over : r/breastfeeding
My journey is over . I know it's been heading in this direction for the past month. After I got my period 2 months pp it has been a uphill battle with my supply each cycle. ... **This is a community to encourage, support, and educate parents nursing babies/children through their breastfeeding journey. Partners seeking advice and support are ...
Your Breastfeeding Journey
Get your breastfeeding supplies; Talk to family and friends who have breastfed for support and advice; What Breastfeeding Supplies Do I Need? Each breastfeeding journey is unique. Items you may need include: Breast pump; Milk storage bags and containers; Nipple creams, ointments, and lotions; Nipple shields if recommended by your lactation ...
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You can still have a successful breastfeeding journey. Breastfeeding is a supply and demand process and breastfeeding frequently helps initiate breastmilk production. The more milk that is removed from your breasts, the more milk you'll produce. ... Pumping can help alleviate engorgement for over-producing breasts.
UK women's experiences of breastfeeding and additional breastfeeding
Lack of control over the situation contrasted with women's views of themselves and undermined their sense of self-efficacy. ... Many of the women interviewed for the study were already in later stages of their breastfeeding journey and looking back upon the initial 'investment and adjustment' period with the benefit of hindsight. This ...
When Your Baby Prefers Bottle Over Breast: Tips for Reversing Course
The Breastfeeding Mama. Hi! I'm Katie Clark - mom of three and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. Over the past eight years, I've dedicated my life to helping thousands of breastfeeding moms around the world overcome their breastfeeding problems and find peace in their journey. I can't wait to help you!
Ciara Shares a 'Sad' Update as Russell Wilson's Wife's Breastfeeding
The narrative of breastfeeding within the NFL community is further enriched by the experiences of Brittany Mahomes, who has openly discussed her special journey. "Last feed of breast milk today 😭," she began the post which came out in 2021 just before Sterling turned 10 months. The post had the caption written over a photo of Sterling ...
Draya Michele shows off rapid weight loss, details 'easy' postpartum
Draya Michele showed off her rapid weight loss and "easy" postpartum recovery less than two weeks after welcoming a daughter with NBA star Jalen Green.. On Wednesday, the "Basketball Wives ...
Journey is over : r/breastfeeding
Journey is over🥲 . I'm at the end of my breastfeeding journey and I need all the tips possible to stop my milk production. Thanks in advance Share ... **This is a community to encourage, support, and educate parents nursing babies/children through their breastfeeding journey. Partners seeking advice and support are also welcome here.**
From losing mother to stopping breastfeeding: What truly inspired ...
Mzansi expressed concerns over Cyan's decision, saying she will ruin her body. 'Uzalo' star Gugu Gumede spoke about the inspiration behind her weight loss journey. Image: @itsgugugumede Source ...