After a Breakup, Travel Is Sometimes the Only Answer

After a Breakup Travel Is Sometimes the Only Answer

When her relationship ended in September of last year, Leah Castillo knew she had to get out of San Luis Obispo, California. Her apartment was littered with reminders of a recent string of belly-up relationships—including the woman who, she’d just discovered, had been with someone else. She moved out of her apartment, packed up her Mitsubishi Outlander, and headed to Zion National Park .

“There were reminders of my heartbreak everywhere and I was left pretty broken. I felt extremely undesirable, my self-worth had taken a hit, and I could not escape the insecurity and doubt I had about myself,” says Castillo. “I couldn't stay where I was and heal properly. But I knew that if I was in some desolate canyon in Utah , my past experiences would be nowhere to be found.” She began a two-month journey through the American Southwest , where she camped in national parks , taught herself how to fly fish , and angry-cried as she drove her car across the desert.

Cutting your hair, quitting your job, moving cities—trying to reclaim a sense of control after a break up is a common reaction when life is flipped upside down. It's no wonder, then, that travel has long been an appealing coping mechanism. It offers the separation of routine, new connections, and, importantly, a chance to focus on the self. Love it or loathe it, there’s a reason Eat, Pray, Love struck a chord with so many.

But what role can travel really play in the healing process?

“After a breakup, you're going through withdrawal—the dopamine, the oxytocin, the serotonin, all those hormones that love produces for you are no longer there,” says Kathleen Hendrik Ebbitt, a New York City-based therapist in the Alma network who moved to Mexico City following her own breakup two years ago. “It's a really scary space to be in, to need to acclimate to what the brain is when you're no longer in love. One reason that I think travel can be really great after a breakup is that it can stimulate your brain and encourage new connections within your cerebral matter.”

Those benefits begin before you even leave home, experts say. Not only is there distraction in putting together your great escape, but it offers a more practical reason to stop sifting through the wreckage of the split and begin thinking about what comes next. “When you are in the pain and darkness of a separation, people get very stuck in the past,” says Amy Chan, a former relationship columnist and founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp retreats, which take place in upstate New York and California . “[People] go into spirals of what should have happened, what shouldn’t have happened, and that’s what really keeps them stuck. Travel can be helpful because you put something in the calendar to look forward to. That shift of focus gives a little bit of hope.”

Florence Williams, author of the forthcoming book HEARTBREAK , which explores the science of a broken heart—a journey she went on following the dissolution of her 25-year-marriage—says that planning allows you to take a breather from your emotions. “Psychologists have shown that [planning] engages your frontal cortex and thinking brain, and you get out of your emotional brain for a little while.”

This switching of gears was a benefit that Castillo noticed right away once she hit the road. “When you're traveling, you can't really go on autopilot like at home,” she says. “I would be crying and then I'd have to stop and think, Okay, where am I sleeping tonight? What happens if my tire blows out in the middle of nowhere? How am I going to get WiFi?”

Anyone who’s sat in the muck of a heartbreak can appreciate that relief—even a momentary release from the grip of unanswered questions and the relentless inspection of memories for answers is precious. But distraction will only get you so far, says Chan, who leaned into yoga retreats following a gut-wrenching breakup of her own before founding Renew: You don’t want to just “procrastinate your pain.” The idea of a whirlwind European train trip that sucks up every minute of your attention, for example, might sound great, but the quiet moments, where you’re left staring out the window and forced to return to your thoughts, are where progress can happen.

“In a breakup it’s important to really ask yourself: Am I using the full capacity of my brain and not just having this knee jerk response to escape a situation which is painful?” says Hendrik Ebbitt. “There’s a lot of romanticism around travel—[instead] think about intention and expectation and really look at travel as a healing tool.”

Maybe that means intentionally taking a trip outside your comfort zone, where the stimulation of newness and the opportunity to make decisions can be empowering. For San Francisco-based Alexa Ford, a breakup at age 21 led her to spontaneously apply for a solo hiking permit on the Nüümü Poyo in California, also known as the John Muir Trail. She hiked it across 13 days—her first backpacking trip , ever. “I had no gear, I had never been backpacking, and I was terrified of mountain lions,” she says. “But it took three months to get ready, which was the best distraction after a hard breakup. And there really is no medicine like walking by yourself for 210 miles with some good tunes and a self-help podcast.”

Some travelers might not be comfortable going it alone, but planning a trip on your own terms, even if it’s closer to home or with friends, can help restore a sense of self-agency and identity often lost during a breakup. “What’s at the core of a heartbreak is that your identity gets shaken up—it profoundly affects your self-esteem and your sense of self,” says Williams. “Who are you without this person, especially if it’s been a long relationship? The power of travel speaks to so many things you need to address in order to feel better. You can have self-agency, you’re not just someone things happen to.”

The Best Things to Do on Paros&-the Greek Island Best Savored in Shoulder Season

Taking a trip that you’ve called the shots on can help you reacquaint yourself with who you are, she says. And if you’re the one who’s done the leaving? It can be a powerful way to remind yourself that you did the right thing, because you have a strong sense of what you want to be doing—and who you want to be doing it with.

© Monique Aimee

For Hendrik Ebbitt, part of what drew her to Mexico City after her relationship ended was wanting to be in a space where she wasn’t speaking English , nor familiar with her environment. “In a lot of ways I wanted to allow my brain to go into a different terrain in order to better focus on healing,” she says. “I also felt proud that I was doing something which seemed brave.”

While this approach worked for Ebbitt, she says many of her patients worry about getting off track. “The primary thing that women going through breakups are experiencing, I think, have to do with identity politics—who they are, who they want to be,” says Hendrik Ebbitt. “Particularly with younger people I work with, people are getting married later, if at all, having children later, if at all. People are grappling with this ideology we’ve been fed as to who we should be as women, so in addition to the grieving process, [you’re thinking about] not having the same capacity to meet those societal benchmarks that we’ve internalized as steps into womanhood.”

Concerns about a breakup, like having to restart aspects of your life, being out of time, somehow falling behind, is what Chan says is the most universal sentiment echoed by women who arrive at her retreats—whether they’re in their 30s or 70s.

“Our culture really reinforces [a perceived] disability of older women, and their sexual lack of viability,” says Williams. “And it’s just this huge amount of bullshit. You’re not too old to have fun, you’re not too old to have adventures, you’re not too old to find deep meaning and beauty and fulfillment in relationships of all flavors.” It’s important to put yourself in situations where you can be reminded of those things, she says.

It should come as no surprise that a post-breakup trip won’t always be pretty. You might, like Castillo, find yourself screaming out of frustration in the privacy of your car, in the middle of nowhere in Utah, only to realize that the windows are cracked and your campsite neighbors definitely heard. Ford, meanwhile, left her fair share of tears on the Nüümü Poyo. But the real beauty is in experiencing these moments, and coming out the other side. Travel is, after all, meant to move us. It can put our everyday lives in perspective, and make our problems, even if just temporarily, feel like drops in the ocean.

“There's nothing like travel to remind us that we live in a big world and we're a small part of it,” says Williams. “No matter which side of heartbreak you’re on, you're going to be dealing with a lot of emotions, like guilt, or rejection. And those emotions are important to feel but it's also important to have some perspective so that they don't take over everything. A loss of ego is really helpful.”

For Castillo, her breakthrough moment came one night in the middle of a thunderstorm in the Gila National Forest, New Mexico, at a dark sky reserve. “I was having a pretty rough day, stuck in my thoughts, and I got caught in this intense storm—thunder was shaking my car, lightning was striking every two seconds, but I was stuck and all I could do was watch,” she recalls. “When the storm finally passed, I stepped outside. The air was electric from the lightning and there was the most insane blanket of stars that I've ever seen in my life. I felt lucky to just be standing there, alive and healthy, and to be able to travel to see things. And I thought, Yeah, I’m going to be okay.”

break up travel

solosophie

Here’s How & Why You Should Turn to Travel After a Breakup

Last Updated on 21st March 2023 by Sophie Nadeau

This post may contain affiliate links. Please check out my  privacy policy  and  disclosure  for more information.

Close to two years ago, I sat down and wrote ‘ Can travel ever help heal a broken heart? ‘ Twenty-four months later and, while I’m still blogging, I’m almost entirely sure that travel can, indeed, mend a broken heart, albeit not in the way you might imagine. Here’s how and why you should turn to travel after a breaku p (as well as some ideas on where you should venture to!)

Here's How & Why You Should Turn to Travel After a Breakup

Editor’s note: It’s now 2023, and I think everyone will agree with me when I say *what* a past few years we’ve all had. 2020 has made many re-evaluate their lives in a way they never had to before and, ultimately, what they want to do with them, and that includes romantic interests and partners.

I know of more than one couple who broke up after the stress of 2020 and 2021. But with the world opening back up again, it’s once more fair to say that travelling after a breakup (with a job, friend, or partner) is a valid way to renew the way you see the world and get a new perspective on things.

Versailles Palace Gardens

Back in September of 2019, I broke up with my second ever long-term boyfriend. We met merely weeks after my first long-term breakup and while he’s a pretty great guy, things were not meant to be.

We wanted different things out of life, let alone the fact that we literally wanted to live in different countries and had entirely different interests!

Thanks to this blog ( which is also my full-time job ) , I was lucky enough to pack up my things and quite literally move to another country ( I moved to Paris ). With this being said, this is obviously not feasible for most people (never mind the fact that I had quite literally been saving for my move for the two years prior) .

As such, even just a short escape  (such as a day trip or weekend break to a nearby city or town) can be just as healing in of itself. After all as ‘they’ often say “it’s the journey and not the destination that counts” . Well, if you’ve just gone through a breakup, then I feel you!

It’s a long and hard journey ahead, with the ultimate destination unclear. One minute you’re planning on spending your life with the other person, the next you’re facing the unknown alone…

However, whether you plan to jet off to a far-flung destination or simply hop on a train for a short day trip to the next town over (much better for the environment and your bank account!), both are just as valid forms of travel as one another and both will ultimately help you heal.

non hiking lake district activities

Planning will give you something to look forward to

You find yourself again, you can give yourself a chance to heal outside of your usual routine, you’ll be pushed out of your comfort zone, a word of warning…, montréal, canada, paris, france, amsterdam, the netherlands, italy (literally anywhere in italy), a south of france adventure, enjoyed reading about how (and why) you should turn to travel after a breakup pin this article now, read it again later:, here’s why you should travel after a breakup.

The worst thing about going through a breakup is undoubtedly the nagging voice in the back of your head. Whether that’s considering whether you ‘should’ have broken up or pondering the ‘what ifs’ of the situation, planning your next adventure will give you something to look forward to, as well as help take your mind off things.

If you’re planning a trip, especially if that voyage is to go it alone, then chances are you’ll start to rediscover what you do/ don’t like outside of the scope of having to consider someone else’s needs and wants.

No matter how much we tell ourselves that we’ll ‘remain ourselves’ throughout the course of a relationship, relationships are undoubtedly about compromise.

Travelling will allow you to discover exactly what you like and dislike, particularly when you’re forced away from your usual routine and automatic decision making processes.

So whether you fancy perusing a museum, simply getting lost together with a camera, or going out on the town with a bunch of new friends, take the time being on your own to discover what you personally want out of life. After all, we only get one shot!

When you’re at home, chances are you’re constantly being reminded of the person you just ended things with. Even the smallest of events/ places can trigger a memory. That bar you went for a date night in, the walking trail you took the dog out on.

The simple fact of changing scenery can liven up your day and show you the bigger picture as opposed to wallowing in your [negative] thoughts.

Furthermore, being away from your typical environment will give you a chance to consider what you truly and genuinely want. For example, do you miss the person or the comfort of having that person there?

When travelling, we’re forced to make decisions and see things in an entirely different light or way. You have to change your ways of doing things and are thus entirely pushed out of your comfort zone, which in turn may well prove to yourself that you’re much more capable than you previously thought.

If you’re planning on travelling after a breakup, then the most important piece of advice I would give you is this: just because you’re going away won’t mean that all your feelings will suddenly disappear. You’ll still be yourself, albeit in a different situation and location.

Give yourself permission to grieve and don’t feel guilty if you think about your ex. However, I would personally cut off all contact during your trip. Your feelings will still be intense and you may not like the answer you receive. Instead, give yourself some space to think, heal, and consider what you really want from life.

AC Bellevista hotel view, Girona, Catalonia, Spain

Here’s where to travel alone after a breakup!

I’ve always been a big fan of solo travel ( here’s a guide to help you get started with solo travel ) and there is perhaps no better time to explore this option than when you’re fresh out of a relationship. When my now ex boyfriend broke up with me, I personally headed out on a hiking trail near where I lived and went to discover some Neolithic ruins I’d never seen before.

Simply getting out of the house and getting a little travel experience was great for helping to put things in perspective while I planned out my next steps and figured out what to do in the weeks following (as well as to keep my mind distracted from things). With this being said, here are some of my favourite solo destinations:

Hands down, one of my favourite cities in North America (and perhaps the one I’d most like to live in if I were to ever leave Europe) is that of Montréal.

Situated in the French Canadian region of Quebec, the people are friendly, the foodie scene is simply wonderful (including plenty of vegan options) , and the art scene is unparalleled.

Perfect for a girls getaway or a solo trip (I’ve experienced both there), the hustle and bustle of the Canadian city will soon capture your imagination and heart in equal measure.

During your stay in the city, I highly recommend booking your accommodation in the Vieux-Montreal district of the city, where many of the main attractions are just a short walk away.

Visit the Basilica Notre-Dame in Montreal, Quebec, Canada

Honestly, the ‘City of Love’ may well not be most people’s destination of choice when it comes to where to travel after a breakup. However, when having a little bit of a love affair with myself, I find nothing more enjoyable than simply soaking up the atmosphere and enjoying the sights of the stunning Hausmannian architecture.

Another bonus of visiting Paris is that it’s easy to take day trips from the city , not to mention that it’s pretty normal to go out for food alone or simply sit in a café for hours on end, simply watching the world go by.

And thanks to a myriad of museums, parks, and historic monuments, there’s no way you can ever be bored during a trip to Paris! For more Wanderlust inspiration, check out my solo guide to Paris .

Jardin des Tuileries Carousel , Paris, France

I know several people who have taken the plunge to travel alone to Amsterdam after a breakup and it’s honestly one of the most friendly capital cities in Europe.

Easy to explore on either foot or via bicycle (my method of choice) thanks to its compactness and relatively flat nature, the historic city is filled with stunning architecture and more museums than perhaps anywhere else in Europe.

Making a great base from which to explore the rest of the Netherlands, in the spring you can even visit the nearby stunning gardens of Keukenhof near Lisse . Otherwise, let yourself get swept away in the beauty of the Dutch capital city, not to mention the excellent foodie options available (even for vegans!)

Beautiful canal in Amsterdam

If I’m totally honest, after France, Italy is one of my favourite countries in the world. And what’s not to like? The history goes back millennia, people are friendly, and best of all, the Italian food and wine is among some of the best in the world!

Some of my favourite Italian destinations (and where I suggest travelling post breakup for the most history, culture, and accommodation options) include Florence (i.e. Firenze) where museums are abundant and the scenery is quite literally breathtaking and the city of Pavia , a tiny university town with a Duomo designed by the hand of Da Vinci, and one of the most beautiful monasteries, the Certosa di Pavia , just a short train ride away.

Best spring destinations in Europe: Pavia

Known around the world for its lavender fields and breathtaking châteaux scene, the South of France is the kind of place where time simultaneously speeds by and stops.

Wander through villages quite literally frozen in time, sip on rosé in an off the beaten track café, and explore Roman ruins while imagining how the landscape must have appeared two millennia ago. Honestly, if I were to choose just one place to travel after a breakup, it would be a solo adventure in the South of France !

Planning a solo adventure in the south of france: tips, tricks, practical advice, and where to visit for a historical trip in Southern France, Europe!

Sophie Nadeau is a full time travel writer and photographer focused on cultural experiences in Europe and beyond. When she's not chasing after the sunset (or cute dogs she sees on her travels) she can be found reading, playing video games, and going on long hikes with her husband.

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I do hope you had a great trip and are feeling more positive. Being in a similar situation my partner has walked out yet again this has gone on for 7 years back and forth with no real commitment.

I am 41 and he is 56 can’t help feeling I am been strung along. I’ve a spare 10 days before my new job commences, consequently I’ve no car until then and feel trapped in the house.

I have been trying to book this trip for 12 hours! I feel guilty although he has just sent a message goading me saying how life’s so much easier living apart. Well he can’t have his cake and eat it!

I think I am going to grab my visa, thanks for the advice solo Sophie. Xxx

I am so happy that I’ve found this page. I just got out of a relationship a couple of days ago and have been in an unbearable pain, everything feels so foggy yet so clear. And on this short healing journey, the first thing that crossed my mind when thinking how I could make it a little bit more bearable, was to get the first flight out of here. But at the same time I was scared that it would be some type of an escapism, cause wouldn’t we all want to heal faster and just be done with it already?! And also afraid that I would just sit an wallow as I will be travelling alone. So reading this, makes me believe that I am not that wrong in doing so and I will actually be looking forward to get away for a while 🙂

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6 Destinations to Beat the Post-Breakup Blues

Getting away can present a welcome distraction and the chance to try new things

break up travel

We’re dedicating our  February features  to romance travel. A destination has the ability to steal our hearts, but many magical and memorable experiences abroad can be closely tied to stories of love. From traveling after a breakup to compromising trip planning with multiple partners and prioritizing individual interests on a couple’s trip , we’ve put together a collection of inspiring stories that display just how closely our romantic relationships relate to our worldwide adventures.

Time might heal all wounds, but let's be real: distance can too. Regardless of if you're battling a romantic breakup or the end of a long friendship, just getting away can present a welcome distraction as well as the chance to try new things, heal, and grow. Even the experts say it works: "Whether you’re exploring new terrain, meeting new people, or simply trying to master a few words in a new language, travel has the potential to boost cognitive functioning,” Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, a sex and relationships expert, told Culture Trip in 2017 .

But not all destinations are created equal—we spoke to a few travelers who mastered the art of post-breakup travel to round up a list of the six best places to mend a broken heart and have some fun along the way.

Jackson, Wyoming

When you're surrounded by wildlife and some of the most stunning scenery in the U.S., it's hard to be too sad. A hotspot for the jet-set, Jackson offers the perfect balance of outdoor activities and leisure with a surprisingly robust dining and nightlife scene.

With 200 miles of trails, avid hikers can spend their entire trip alone with their thoughts in Grand Teton National Park , while wintertime visitors can shred on the more than 120 named trails at Jackson Hole Mountain Resort.

At the end of the day, warm up from the chilly mountain air at The Rose , the town's first speakeasy-style bar, a brainchild of Jackson native David Kaplan and Alex Days, owners of Death & Co., the famed Manhattan bar. You'll find a lively bar scene with a mix of locals and visitors.

Sedona, Arizona

Courtesy of L'Auberge

A long-standing popular destination known for its stunning red rock vistas and a vibrant arts community, Sedona is the perfect spot to heal a broken heart.

Red Rock State Park is full of trails that wind through canyon walls and pine forests, creating great opportunities for picnicking or birdwatching. Meanwhile, the popularity of this destination means you'll never have to worry about hitting the trail solo—a huge plus for safety-concerned family and friends.

If you need a bit of sybaritic healing to rest your aching muscles (and heart), Sedona is home to some of the best spas and resorts in the country. A stay at the famed L'Auberge de Sedona includes a cozy, lodge-style room, as well as a rotating schedule of activities, ranging from nature talks to photography lessons. When you're ready to hit the spa, L'Apothecary's wide range of treatments, from massages to facials, are inspired by Sedona's natural beauty and rely on local botanicals from the area.

San Francisco, California

Eric Clapton sang about the San Francisco Bay Blues, but you'll be anything but blue after some alone time in the Golden City.

With a mild climate year-round, the city is excellent for roaming and wandering without a specific itinerary—start your day snapping sunrise photos at the picturesque Palace of Fine Arts before hopping on a sightseeing cruise or watching the San Francisco Giants play at Oracle Park.

Then, sample some of the area's culinary delights at the famed Ferry Building or ride a cable car to North Beach, the city's Italian neighborhood, where you can enjoy a big bowl of cioppino at local stalwart Sotto Mare . (Plus, the friendly bar service will take the sting out of dining alone.)

If you need some literary inspiration, nearby City Lights is one of the most revered bookstores in the country, selling thousands of titles since its founding by beat poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti in 1953.

Nashville, Tennessee

If music and booze sound like the best way to cure heartache, book your ticket to Nashville. This hip Southern city boasts excellent restaurants, dazzling new hotels (plus a few classics ), and enough entertainment and nightlife to fill weeks on end.

Sing your heart out at the famed Ryman Auditorium , which celebrates its 130th anniversary in 2022, or catch a show at the Grand Ole Opry before heading to Corsair Distillery , Nashville's first since prohibition, for a tasting of their award-winning whiskeys. The distillery, which has two locations in town, also makes excellent pot-distilled gin if the brown stuff isn't to your liking.

Finally, sample some of the cuisine Nashville is known for. You can't go wrong with long-standing favorites like Prince's Hot Chicken Shack . Still, newer eateries, like Lou , a low-key, natural wine bar serving California-inspired cuisine, are turning pre-conceived notions about the Music City on their head.

Barcelona, Spain

Lace up your walking shoes, as there are few cities better for aimlessly wandering than Barcelona .

Start your trip by walking around the Gothic Quarter and El Born, where seemingly endless alleyways flanked by historical buildings will draw you in. You'll also find some of the best restaurants and watering holes are hidden down these little paths—perfect for making new friends, trying new foods, and indulging Priorat, the heady red wine from the nearby eponymous region.

Architecture buffs may enjoy strolling between the city's many Antoni Gaudí-designed buildings. The famed architect's playful Catalan modernism is on full display throughout the city—you can't miss La Sagrada Familia . Still, Casa Batlló is equally breathtaking, as is the lesser-known Casa Vicens.

Train Travel

Want to spend a month riding the rails from place to place? Amtrak's surprisingly affordable USA Rail Pass offers the chance to do just that. For $499, rail-pass users have 120 days to use 10 segments onboard Amtrak trains.

The possibilities are truly endless—ride Amtrak's Coast Starlight line between Seattle and Los Angeles before hopping on the Sunset Limited from L.A. to New Orleans. Then, if you're still not sated by a thorough dose of Americana, head north on the Crescent line , which runs between New York and the Big Easy.

The days onboard are long for sure, but being alone with your thoughts, a good book or journal, and stunning scenery sounds like a cathartic way to say goodbye to love lost.

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Best Place to Travel Solo After a Breakup

Posted on Published: October 19, 2021  - Last updated: April 4, 2023

Woman on a swing with a travel landscape in the background.

Some people get a new hairstyle following a romantic breakup, but others – including myself – have successfully used solo travel to reset, reconnect, and recharge after the end of a relationship.

In this article, I’ll discuss a few of the ways that solo travel can legitimately help the healing process following a difficult breakup – Plus, I’ll explore a few of my best suggestions for places to go on a solo vacation after a breakup.

You’ll find my personal expereinces on this topic are interspersed with peer-reviewed, evidence-based research, which you can find cited in the texts or in the reference section .

How Solo Travel Can Help us After a Breakup

It’s not just a Hollywood trope- travel can be a relatively effective way to cope with a painful breakup or even a broken heart.

While there’s no quick fix for the pain of the end of a relationship, solo travel is a big exciting new adventure- and through that, it can be a route that leads our brains and hearts towards healing, growth, and readiness for future relationships.

Like a rebound relationship (but without the complexity), travel after a breakup is a way to rediscover hope and excitement about the future.

A woman sits on a train and stares into space.

1. Solo Travel Helps us (re)Discover Who we Are

When we are in a serious romantic relationship, part of the way that we develop intimacy with our boyfriend or girlfriend is by developing a “we” identity that we share with our partner. Breaking up, then, involves moving on from a “we” that no longer is, and back to “I”.

This sounds simpler than it is, however, because as relationships prompt us to grow and change as individuals, the “self” we must return to won’t be exactly the same as the “self” we were before the relationship- so it takes a bit of looking.

Ways we Define Ourselves & Why Solo Travel Invites Authenticity

The default, after a romantic breakup or divorce (or even job loss or bereavement), is to turn to family, friends, work, or accomplishments to remind us who we are- but sometimes this backfires. When we are part of systems (life families, workplaces, or friend groups) that benefit from us being a certain way (generous, “selfless”, entertaining, etc), then relying too much on our support systems when recovering from a romantic relationship’s breakup might actually prevent us from growing in the way that we might want, and keep us from taking to heart the lessons we learned from the relationship with our ex-partner.

Solo travel, though at times scary, is a way to get the time and space to discover our post-relationship selves, reflect on the ending, and experiment with being ourselves in a context where there are no external expectations of who we are ( source ).

2. Solo Travel Tells our Brains “Change is Good”

Change is terrifying, and anyone who says differently is lying. See, humans are creatures of habit, and changes are incredibly distressing to the parts of our brain that connect predictability with survival. So when humans (who often can’t stand to even switch brands of coffee!) end a relationship, it’s not only an emotional loss but a staggering change to reconcile.

Solo travel gives us an opportunity to redefine and remaster the season of change we find ourselves in. As planning, leaving, and exploring a destination prompt releases of dopamine, the season of change becomes not just about loss, but of adventure .

Rather than the end of the road, taking a solo trip after a breakup is, instead, like taking an unexpected turn and finding yourself on a delightful roadtrip. In short, solo travel after a breakup can prompt the release of dopamine and serotonin in our brains- these neurotransmitters cue our brains that something good is happening, and could even help train our brain to understand that change isn’t all bad. After all, changes open opportunities for more good things to happen in the future- whether that’s more solo travel, future relationships, or other adventures.

3. Be Intentional in Choosing Change

Although everyone has a different travel style (and that’s ok!), in the case of solo travel after a breakup, there is a wrong way to do it: Immediately after a breakup or divorce, never solo travel to a destination that you’d talked about going with your ex , and while traveling, try to avoid activities that you know they would have enjoyed.

Doing either is the easiest way to sabotage your solo travel. Traveling to a place that reminds you of your ex, or doing activities you associate with them is a way to hold onto them, rather than take the difficult path towards moving forward alone.

Woman walking in a crowd.

For example, if you and your partner often talked about scuba diving in Aruba,  do not go scuba diving in Aruba as your post-breakup solo travel destination. There may be a time and a place for you to have that experience, but it’s not immediately after the relationship ends. Instead, do something exciting in a place that you really want to visit, preferably a place that your partner didn’t show much interest in seeing.

4. Use a Travel Journal to Process Post Breakup Travel

Listen, you are going to have so, so, so many thoughts and feelings while taking a solo trip after a romantic breakup. When the ambient noise of everyday life falls silent, being alone with our thoughts can be overwhelming (though for most people, really helpful). I always advocate for travel journals as a way to increase personal growth from travel, but never more so than for trips taken to heal from the end of a relationship.

There are two especially good ways to use a travel journal for this type of trip:

A. cultivate gratitude..

Research is abundantly clear on this, mindfulness + gratitude = positive personal growth and a greater sense of wellbeing. At the end of each travel day, perhaps while dining alone in a restaurant , list a few things that you’re grateful for. To boost the mindfulness in travel aspect, pause throughout the day to notice and remember the sensory experience of being present in your body in that place, and record those sensations in your travel journal.

B. Write a narrative of your relationship and how it ended

When we talk about an experience – and especially when we write about an experience – it gives our brains the opportunity to understand and organize that experience. Researchers have discovered that people who write briefly about distressing experiences experience less stress when later recalling those experiences ( source ), and people have used writing exercises for more than 100 years to help process difficult experiences.

You can use your travel journal in this way, reflecting on the many thoughts and feelings you have about your relationship during your post-breakup solo trip. One of the best specific prompts though, in my experience, is to write the story of your relationship: Without a specific expectation of length or depth of detail, write the story of your relationship, as if you were writing it to a version of yourself 10 years older or 10 years younger. This specific journal exercise can help our brains and hearts to organize the complex, nuanced, and layered experience of a romantic relationship into a narrative that makes sense and that can be built on as you move forward.

Best Destinations for Solo Travel after a Breakup

As mentioned above, everybody has a different travel style and preferred destinations, and there’s no wrong way to travel (as long as you aren’t using your solo travel to retrace the steps of “what could have been” with your partner). Avoid traveling to places that you enjoyed together or that you talked about visiting, instead opting for the excitement of exploring new locations or the comfort of enjoying familiar places that you visited before you met your now ex girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, husband, or wife.

Everyone probably has a different opinion on the best places to travel alone after a breakup, but I have two clear front-runners for the title. Both destinations that have held me through difficult seasons of change:

Florence, Italy

Florence is a city of beauty. Traveling in Florence makes me feel vibrantly alive, sparks my creativity, and inspires me to think of my own stories as timeless. It’s an easy city to travel solo in, and the best place in the world to sit for hours at a time in front of priceless art, writing, drawing, or simply thinking. In my opinion, Florence is the best solo travel destination to heal from a breakup.

Cavtat, Croatia

Cavtat is Dubrovnik’s cheaper, quieter, quainter neighbor- an old coastal village about 10 minutes from Dubrovnik by water taxi. Croatia’s coast, and hugging it the Adriatic Sea, is a perfect blend of a traditional European destination with an almost tropical vibe. The miles and miles of turquoise beaches, the gardens of Lokrum Island , and the sea organ of Zadar, Croatia are perfect destinations for travel after a breakup, thanks to the blend of iconic European architecture and pristine beaches.

Final thoughts on solo travel after a breakup

While some may think that taking a solo trip after breakup is a way to avoid dealing with the emotions surrounding the breakup, the reality is that there’s a lot of evidence-based research that supports this sort of retreat to reset following the end of a romantic relationship or any other identity-shifting experience.

Through solo travel, we can help our minds renegotiate what it is to be in the world by ourselves, discover joy in exploration, and process the breakup without unwanted input from well-meaning others.

Philip M. Ullrich, M.A., Susan K. Lutgendorf, Ph.D., Journaling about stressful events: Effects of cognitive processing and emotional expression ,  Annals of Behavioral Medicine , Volume 24, Issue 3, August 2002, Pages 244–250,  https://doi.org/10.1207/S15324796ABM2403_10

Işık, Şerife & Erguner-Tekinalp, Bengu. (2017). The Effects of Gratitude Journaling on Turkish First Year College Students’ College Adjustment, Life Satisfaction and Positive Affect . International Journal for the Advancement of Counselling. 39. 10.1007/s10447-017-9289-8.

Berger, M., Gray, J. A., & Roth, B. L. (2009). The expanded biology of serotonin .  Annual review of medicine ,  60 , 355–366. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.med.60.042307.110802

Pereira, A. & Silva, C. (2018). Women Solo Travellers: Motivations and Experiences. Millenium, 2(6), 99-106. DOI: https://doi.org/10.29352/mill0206.09.00165

Avatar for lynli roman

Lynli Roman’s unique approach to travel is informed by decades of experience on the road with a traveling family and, later, years spent as a solo international traveler. When she’s not writing about Seattle from her Pike Place Market apartment, Lynli writes on-location while conducting hands-on research in each destination she covers. Lynli’s writing has been featured by MSN, ABC Money, Buzzfeed, and Huffington Post. She is passionate about sharing information that makes travel more accessible for all bodies.

'We don't hook up': How to handle a vacation with your ex

Jennifer Ruiz never anticipated that her birthday trip to the Mediterranean with her partner would end in a breakup .

The Florida-based travel writer and her partner had planned the January 2023 cruise around destinations like Greece and Turkey for six months. 

That wasn’t their first trip. The pair had previously traveled together and sometimes argued, but that didn’t deter her excitement. As a seasoned traveler, Ruiz was used to navigating airports, but her partner struggled with flying. “We saw air travel as a tense thing because of his preferences and my preferences,” she said. Suffering from tinnitus, he didn’t like flying and would want to “isolate” while she was more relaxed. “They didn’t necessarily mesh with the way we traveled, especially because you’re stuck in a tube for however long.” 

Ruiz felt like the disunity between her and her partner’s travel styles escalated other issues they had in the relationship. “They’re aggravated by the setting,” she said, despite no one really being right or wrong. He had a strict diet and felt uncomfortable asking for specific requests, while she just wanted to enjoy all the food on board. 

On board the cruise ship together, Ruiz said the lack of space – “that element of being stuck (in a cabin) and being on the water – continued to add to the tension throughout the trip. It was her partner’s first time on a cruise, and as someone who liked to stick to his routine, he ended up being “edgy,” which, in turn, made her “defensive.”

Enjoy your worry-free vacation: Best travel insurance policies

Breakups are hard enough at home. Add hundreds or thousands of miles and a time difference, and they get even more complicated. For some couples, it may have been a long time coming, while for others, traveling itself can play a role.

The small things began to add up and finally, in Santorini, the couple had a big argument and she said her partner took off and “disappeared in the middle of Santorini.” Ruiz remembered feeling “resentful” because this was how the two were spending their one day in “the most romantic place on Earth.” 

Back on the ship, Ruiz learned her Facebook profile – vital for her job as a content creator – was hacked. Instead of consoling her during the crisis, her partner took space outside on the balcony with the door closed. “It was a really horrible birthday,” she said.

They broke up shortly after that and had to spend the last two days of the cruise together. “It was really tough,” she said. He went home and she went to Egypt, as planned. 

From the experience, Ruiz realizes that she should have let the relationship go sooner and she was “forcing things” through this trip. “It’s like trying to fit a square into a peg hole.”

“Travel is definitely a test of your compatibility,” she said. “It’s important to know the other person and really not think you can just bypass certain things. They’re not going to get better just because you’re in a vacation setting.”

Learn more: The best travel insurance

Tips for navigating travel during and after breakups

Kiaundra Jackson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, said breakups are often caused by a build-up or combination of factors. However, travel can add new variables and stressors.

Even before the trip begins, some travelers are planners while others “need a little bit more assistance with that,” Jackson said.

“I think that that can be frustrating for some couples where there is a mismatch in … getting tasks done,” Jackson added. “And that could cause friction.”

Travelers may also have more time on their hands and fewer responsibilities when they’re away from daily life. “And sometimes that can get you in trouble,” she said. “You might be drinking or you might be hanging out with people that you've met there, and there may be some attraction or some cheating or a breach of trust.”

She recommended that couples thinking about traveling together do a lower-stakes test run, like a staycation or road trip somewhere close to home. Consider talking about your vacation styles, as well.

“‘Do you want to be lazy and just lie in the bed all day and be by the pool, or do you want to do something more adventurous?’” she recommended asking. “And just have those conversations so you can at least get an idea of what they would be like on an actual vacation versus you being completely surprised when you're in the thick of it.”

If couples decide to go, Jackson recommends making sure they have access to their own money in case something happens and they need to get separate accommodations or book new transportation home. It’s also a good idea to have a “support person” who is familiar with their relationship.

“You just want to at least have one person who knows where you are, knows that you're safe, and not just physically safe, but emotionally safe,” she said.

When it comes to traveling with an ex, Jackson said it’s important to prioritize your mental and emotional health. “If going on this trip is going to send you in a downward spiral and make things worse, and now you're completely away from all of your loved ones, it's probably not the best idea to go on that trip,” she added. Though some couples may be able to depending on the circumstances of their split.

Alyssa Meza’s ex-boyfriend Nick asked her to go to Thailand with him on their first date. It started as a joke, but less than a month later, she flew to Bangkok where Nick was working to visit.

The Nashville, Tennessee-based pair bonded over their love of travel. So even after they broke up their nearly five-year relationship last June, they decided not to cancel a planned trip to Europe for her birthday.

They were still living together while Nick looked for his own place by the time the August vacation rolled around, and the breakup was amicable, with Meza feeling like the relationship had simply run its course. They also still co-parent their Mini Bernedoodle, Pavlov. “And then I was like, ‘Let's just go on (the trip),’” the 33-year-old said. “‘We travel really well together. It wouldn’t be weird.’” (Plus, their plane tickets were nonrefundable.)

It wasn’t weird. 

If anything, Meza said, it was freeing. “We can be very different types of people on vacation,” she said. While Meza said Nick enjoys sightseeing and snapping lots of photos, she likes to move slower – perhaps ducking into a coffee shop where she can “feel like a local.”

Now that they’re broken up, Meza, who works in brand marketing, said there’s less pressure to do everything together or do what the other person wants.

“Now it's like, ‘OK, can we compromise? Like, is there a way that we could do both?’” she said, even if that means splitting up for stretches of time. “It's just a different dynamic, but it still works.”

They also meet at the airport rather than going together and have scrubbed romantic dinners from the itinerary. “And you know, we don't hook up, so there’s also that,” she said.

Meza said she feels “lucky” that there is no bad blood, and they have since taken another trip to Canada.

Meza echoed that. “I have exes I definitely would never go on vacation with,” she said.

She encouraged travelers to adjust any expectations they might have had when traveling as a couple and respect their companion’s boundaries. “It wasn't like when we showed up (in Croatia) there was gonna be rose petals and Champagne waiting for us,” she said.

They are both single at the moment, but Meza said they understand they’d have to be respectful of future partners, too.

“It truly is just like going on vacation with my best friend,” she said.

Forget Honeymoons — This Unconventional Vacation Is All The Rage Right Now

Guest Writer

Some couples are opting to go on vacation together, even after they've ended their relationship.

I was taken aback when my cousin called to share her post-breakup plans after separating with her partner of three years. “We’re going on a trip,” she announced, her voice oddly upbeat. “A breakup-moon, actually, to celebrate the end of our relationship.” Puzzled, I mulled over this unconventional approach to a breakup after we ended our call.

As it turns out, my cousin isn’t an anomaly: According to Jamie Bichelman, a licensed mental health counselor, a breakup-moon is new terminology given to a trip taken by a couple who are in the process of ending their romantic relationship or have ended it. And more and more people are taking this atypical type of vacation. Even celebrities and politicians take breakup-moons .

The reasons why former couples do this can vary. Some simply cannot get their money back for a trip they’ve already paid for, so they take it anyway. Others use travel as a way to navigate the complex emotions of their separation.

HuffPost spoke with three people about their experience with breakup-moons and why they did ― or didn’t ― go through with them. Here’s what they had to say:

‘It reminded me why our relationship fell apart in the first place.’

Lilith Foxx, a 32-year-old board-certified sexologist and relationship coach, traveled to Austin, Texas, on a breakup-moon with her partner of one year. The trip had been prepaid, leading to an unexpected post-breakup journey that wasn’t marked by hatred or adverse feelings toward her ex.

“It began as a practical decision, even though we knew our relationship was ending,” Foxx explained. “We went a week and a half after breaking up. For me, it became a healing experience and a way to mourn the end of our relationship.”

Though their split was triggered by the discovery of his infidelity, for Foxx, she found it offered her valuable perspective on their inevitable separation.

“Having him on the trip helped because it reminded me why our relationship fell apart in the first place. We were on the way out, and I noticed mannerisms I didn’t appreciate,” she said.

Unlike her previous breakups, this unique experience provided Foxx with a better emotional coping mechanism because she didn’t harbor the usual negative feelings toward her ex-partner.

“I didn’t ‘hate’ him like I had with other exes. I didn’t villainize him or feel hostility. Our final time together made me realize it wasn’t worth prolonging this relationship further,” Foxx said.

Make sure you establish healthy boundaries before you take your trip, according to Jamie Bichelman, a licensed mental health counselor.

‘It’s important to talk about boundaries ahead of time.’

Should individuals decide they want to pursue this option, it is imperative to analyze how the overall relationship was and then set clear boundaries. For Bichelman, who actually turned down the prospect of a breakup-moon with a former partner, he was wary that the miscommunication issues they faced through their relationship would carry on during the trip.

“If this was a relationship without trauma, abuse or mistreatment, and both parties are able to respect each other’s boundaries while simply enjoying each other’s company on a vacation, then it’s possible to have a healthy breakup moon,” he said. “It’s important to talk about boundaries ahead of time to avoid sabotaging what could be a fun experience.”

According to Bichelman, in relationships where there are difficult patterns of behavior or any form of abuse, a trip like this may exacerbate one party’s control over the other and cause one party to re-enter the relationship against their will. It’s important to not go on these trips if this might be the case or if it’s going to be a threat to your physical or mental health in any way.

‘To keep it platonic instead of romantic, we split all the costs’

Money is always an awkward issue to discuss, especially with an ex or an ex-to-be. In addition to setting boundaries, it’s imperative to consider financial and logistical decisions like how finances will be divided, whether to sleep in the same bed, if intimacy is or isn’t on the table and how to deal with either individual getting hit on.

For instance, Foxx ensured that she drove herself to Austin so that if she wanted to leave early or felt uncomfortable at any point, she was not reliant on her ex.

Christeena Thiruvinkal, the director of marketing at Banyan Tree at Maldives, went on a vacation to Rwanda with a man she’d dated for a year and a half. Though she knew that the relationship was inevitably going to end, since both parties wanted completely different things, she also wanted her experience of this destination to be with him because of their shared interest in traveling and exploring.

“I don’t have any regrets, and it was a wholesome trip. But to keep it platonic instead of romantic, we split all the costs,” she said. “Though he paid in advance, I transferred my share to him because it was only fair.”

This is another example of how healthy communication is an important factor. According to Bichelman, if both parties agree on a set price for the breakup-moon, then this could conceivably work, but without strong boundaries, it can lead to further issues.

“A breakdown will occur for exes who may not have had a stable communication base to begin with and don’t know how to navigate scenarios that require additional spending, such as a rental car breaking down, a flight delay or having to spend an extra night in the destination,” Bichelman said.

Of course, this type of trip isn’t for everyone. In most breakups, it’s better to dissolve the relationship rather than hop on a plane together. But if the circumstance allows it, some people do find them healing.

“Breakups sometimes take a long time to accept, but a trip in a new location is a chance for you to be true to yourself and see the person from a different perspective and really grieve, or celebrate a new beginning,” Thiruvinkal said.

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10 Life-Changing Trips to Take After a Breakup

After a loss or big change, traveling can offer reflection and perspective - just what the mind might need to get back on track.

Young woman lies on the beach in the sun to get a suntan

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do. But Travel Is an Excellent Remedy

Find a trip where you can visit historical love story locales, meditate in nature or learn a new skill. All of these destinations come with unique design concepts and ideas for you to bring back with you as you enter a new phase in life.

More photos after this Ad

break up travel

See the Iguazu Falls, Argentina

Gain perspective by seeing awe-inspiring waterfalls on the border of Argentina and Brazil. More than 275 different drops put in perspective how small people are compared to the world’s largest waterfalls system. The Iguazu National Park , seated in the Paranaense Forest, has a train that runs around the park and uses clean combustion so it won’t pollute the surrounding environment.

break up travel

Museum of Broken Relationships, Zagreb, Croatia

This crowd-sourced museum with ongoing traveling exhibitions displays small items from past relationships from around the world. Ponder the paper cranes from Taiwan, teddy bears from South Africa and bras from Texas and contribute your own relationship relic for others to see.

break up travel

Jane Austen’s Stomping Grounds in Bath, England

Live in the world of Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy by exploring the spa resort town popular in the 1800s. Visit the baths, take an audio tour and stay where Austen lived while she was there. The Jane Austen Centre and Regency Tea Room have great scones, and the Jane Austen Festival in September features Regency dances, costumes and workshops.

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When You Have A Trip Planned Together, And They Break Up with You

Olivia Lucero

When you are searching for the best airline prices, finding an Airbnb, and planning a rough itinerary with your special someone, one thing you leave out is plans for a breakup. When they cancel your relationship, does that cancel your plans? You’ve already got tickets. You can’t get a refund. You didn’t buy the insurance to cover unexpected breakups. So, what now? ‍

Option One: Go alone!

‍ Countless books have been written about solo travel after a breakup. "Eat, Pray, Love," anyone? I moved to Ireland after mine, and it completely transformed my heart. While long-term trips are a very different story than short-term, they will both lead to growth. Even merely deciding to go and planning out what you will do will bring some much-needed hope and excitement.

On short-term trips, you don’t settle into a routine long enough to come face-to-face with your soul for an extended period of time, as you would on a long-term trip. Rather, short-term trips get your mind off of all the heavy stuff. Short-term trips are a vacation, a distraction. They’re supposed to be fun! Have fun on your solo short-term trip, and get to know the culture that surrounds you, and get to know yourself while you’re at it. Spending time with yourself doesn’t always have to be a deep, brooding soul search. It can be more like a date. Engage in the local activities, go to those beautiful markets, dance as often as you possibly can, and leave your heart wide open to take in this experience. Read these 10 reasons why you should travel after a breakup!

‍ Option Two: Go with your ex?

‍ Yikes. Bad idea. This will be a very complicated and messy state of affairs that puts you into a state of limbo. Chances are, the breakup was not mutual. So going on a trip together will probably mean one person is trying to get back together while the other is emotionally unavailable. This might lead to using each other, one for pleasure, the other for emotional validation. No one really gets what they want in this situation, unless what you want is to get hurt and leave with more questions than answers.

While I advise against going together at all, the only way this trip could possibly work is if the breakup was mutual and you are both over it. The most important thing you can possibly do in this scenario is to set boundaries. Under no circumstances should you be sleeping in the same bed, holding hands, or any other form of affection. This will just prolong the mending process. If one partner used to always pay for dates, make sure you're not doing that on this trip. Make it clear that these are not dates. It can even help to discuss the breakup in this sort of situation but only do it if you're sure you’ve detached emotionally.

If you both go on this trip together mutually wanting to get back together, that might happen, but it should be a red flag that the only way to get back together is by traveling. Traveling ignites emotions, passions,and behaviors that deviate from your day to day routine and this can present a false sense of closeness. If getting back together was really a good idea, you’d be going on this trip as a couple, not as two people who still have feelings for each other and don’t know what to expect or what boundaries to set.

‍ Option Three: Have your ex sell and transfer the tickets to a friend or vice versa.

‍ This is a bold move. It really says “forget you” in a unique and powerful way. It tells your ex that you couldn’t care less about them going on this trip, and that’s really incredibly liberating. You’re going to have so much fun with your friend! Or if you’re the one who decides to stay, take a coinciding trip to go explore a nearby town or be a tourist in your own city. Just make sure you are doing something stimulating so that you don’t get tempted to watch your ex’s IG stories. Maybe even leave your phone at home, and just use your friend's if you need navigation.

Whatever you decide, remember that you’ll grow with who you go with, and if it’s an unhealthy dynamic, it may be an unhealthy growth. Yourself? Yes! Your friend? Yes! Your ex? Absolutely not.

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Breaking Up With A Travel Partner: From Couple Travel To Solo Travel

by Hannah Collerson

Breaking Up With Your Travel Partner

If you’ve been with someone for a long time, and you’ve traveled with them, they’ve probably become your go-to travel partner. At least, that was the case with me.  

I was with someone for four years, and during those four years we traveled all around Europe and Asia together. It was perfect. Until it wasn’t. And when it became time to go our separate ways, it was so much harder than a regular break up.  

We’d built a lifestyle together. A lifestyle that most people could only dream of. We both worked remotely, and hopped between cities, islands and mountains.  

So when our relationship came to an end, one of the biggest heart aches was knowing that my future adventures would be alone. After four years of traveling together, as a couple, I struggled to come to terms with the thought of traveling alone.  

But it turned out, traveling alone had even more opportunities and perks than traveling as a couple. Solo travel is truly life changing, and it’s not as daunting as you might think. So I thought I’d write this post to help anyone else who’s broken up or breaking up with their travel partner.  

Should you break up before or after a trip?

If you’re having doubts about your partner, but you’ve got a trip booked, it can be hard to know what to do. You can feel trapped and helpless.  

If you break up before the trip, it’s a lot of excitement and money down the drain. If you break up after the trip, you have to sit on your decision until your trip is over.  

One thing to consider is that there’s never a good time to break up. You’ll always have something planned, or something going on that would make it a bad time. Break ups are always bad, which I know isn’t particularly reassuring, but it means that break ups on the road aren’t that much worse.  

Waiting it out until the end of your trip can also cause a lot of tension. If you speak your mind before you depart you can get the hard part over and done with, and start moving on sooner. You’ll also have more time to think about what happens regarding your trip.  

Breaking up before a trip is also a lot easier than breaking up whilst abroad. The last thing you want is for tension to build, and for you to encounter the fresh hell of a break up when you’re supposed to be enjoying a holiday.  

However, if you’re not sure about whether you definitely want to leave your partner, seeing how the trip goes can be a good idea.  

What happens if you break up before a booked trip?

If you’ve broken up, but you’ve got a trip booked together, you’ll need to come up with a plan.   Your options are:

  1: both of you still go together, as friends

2: neither of you go

3: one of you goes alone or with someone else

Option 1 is a bad idea. If you go away together having just broken up, you won’t be able to move on, and the break up won’t feel real.  

Option 2 is a good option, if you can get your money back. But if you can’t get any sort of refund, this is going to be disappointing for both of you.  

Option 3 is worth considering. One of you could pay the other back their share of the holiday, and take a friend instead. This way, no one really loses. One person gets their money back, one person gets a holiday. But be considerate of your ex – don’t take a romantic interest on what would have been your holiday together.  

How To Break Up With Someone Whilst Traveling

If you’re already traveling with someone, and you realise it’s just not working, a break up can feel impossible. Especially if you’ve got several weeks or even months left of your trip.  

But it is possible to break up whilst traveling. And it doesn’t have to ruin your trip. Here are some tips to help breaking up whilst traveling go as smoothly as possible.  

1: Be as kind as possible  

If you’re the breaker-upper, you’ve probably been thinking about leaving your partner for a while. But for them, it might come as a shock. Especially in the middle of a trip.  

So try to be gentle with them. They’ll be sad, maybe angry, and possibly scared about being left in the middle of an unknown country.  

In this situation a little kindness goes a long way. Don’t end it with screaming and shouting. Just be honest, and grateful for the good times.  

2: Don’t abandon your (ex) partner

If your relationship ended with anger, it can be tempting to storm off and never see your partner again. But if you care about them, which you probably still do so soon after a breakup, make sure they’re alright.  

Don’t abandon them in a strange country. Help them make a plan. Will you continue the rest of your trip together, or separately? Or will one or both of you decide to fly home?

Reassure them that whatever they decide to do, you’ll support them. Because if your relationship meant anything, you’ll want them to be safe, and as okay as they can be.  

3: It can still be a life changing trip  

Just because you’ve decided you don’t work as a couple, doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy the trip. Whether you decide to finish the trip together or separately, there’s no need to write off the experience.  

You’ve both spent money on the trip, and you were both hoping for life changing experiences, so why not have them?  

If the break up was too painful, and you’d rather just fly home, that’s completely fine. But if you think you can continue as friends, or as solo travellers, it’s worth sticking it out and making the most of the time you have left.  

4: Make plans for when you arrive home

Did you drive to the airport together? Or do you have belongings at each others homes? Will you be arriving home at different times? These are things you’ll need to think about. The chances are that parting ways at the airport won’t be that simple. Decide when you’ll collect belongings, how you’ll both get home from the airport, etc.  

How To Cope With Losing A Travel Partner

Whether you’ve broken up with your partner, or you’re the one that’s been broken up with, losing a travel partner is hard. You’re probably wondering how you’ll ever travel again without them.  

But just because you don’t have your partner anymore doesn’t mean you can’t travel anymore. You still have the option of traveling with friends, or alone.  

Here are some tips to help you cope with losing a travel partner.

1: Discover yourself again

I know, it sounds cringey. But rediscovering yourself is an important part of any break up. You’ve probably spent a long time getting to know who you are as part of a pair, so it’s time to figure out who you are as an individual.

Once you’re comfortable and confident with yourself, and you know what you want from your future, then you can start planning future trips.

2: Don’t cling to the past

It’s tempting to hold on to the idea that you might get back together, but if you do this, you’re never going to move on. Try to focus on what the future might bring, rather than clinging on to the past.

3: Remember love and convenience aren’t the same thing

If you and your partner broke up, it was for a reason. And one of those reasons might have simply been that the love was gone.

If you find yourself questioning whether breaking up was the right thing to do, consider the difference between love and convenience. Are you having second thoughts because you still love your partner, or because life was easy with them?

Just because your partner lived and enjoyed a similar lifestyle to you, doesn’t make them your soul mate. Hold on for someone who not only has a similar lifestyle and interests, but someone you also absolutely adore.

4: Grow your confidence

Even if you consider yourself a shy person, and you’re worried about facing the world alone, remember confidence is like a plant: it can be grown!

Spend some time focusing on yourself. Achieve personal goals, and start to take on new tasks and challenges independently. If you lack social confidence, push yourself to go to more social events and you’ll soon feel like a social butterfly.

Growing your confidence is going to help you move on, and potentially plan solo trips in the future.

5: Focus on friendships

Partners come and go, but your friends and family will always be there for you. So rather than thinking about moving on romantically, just spend some time with your close friends and family.

Spending time with your loved ones can remind you of how special you are, and they can often help you feel much better and more confident.

6: Make a bucket list

It’s normal to lose interest in travel a little after breaking up with your travel partner, but if you make a bucket list, you’ll start to rediscover your love of adventure.

Make plans for the places you want to see, and remember the reason you fell in love with travel. You probably had a desire to travel before you met your partner, so you just need to rediscover it as a solo traveler.

Think of why it is you want to see and experience certain places, rather than who you want to see them with.

7: Book a solo trip

Booking a solo travel trip is the final and most important stage of getting over losing your travel partner. It’s your chance to thrive as an individual, and explore the world on your own terms.

You might not have anyone to set off with, but you’ll meet so many people along the way, and you’ll see things you’ve always dreamed of seeing.

I’ll admit, setting off on a solo travel trip is absolutely terrifying the first time. You don’t what’s going to happen, who you’re going to meet, or what the place is going to be like. But once you’ve set off, it’s going to be the most life changing experiences you’ve ever had. And it will be a huge personal achievement.

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36 Hours in Malmo, Sweden

By Lisa Abend Sept. 19, 2024

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A view of a city. In the foreground is a modern tower that appears to twist. In the background is a sunset over a bay.

By Lisa Abend Photographs by James Silverman

Lisa Abend is a freelance journalist based in Copenhagen.

Sweden’s third-largest city, a 40-minute train ride from Copenhagen across the Oresund Bridge, is used to being defined in relation to its neighbor. With its emphasis on sustainability and design, and abundant bicycles, it shares many attributes with the Danish capital. But its personality is distinctively its own. As a once-important port, Malmo retains a working-class feel. Its sizable immigrant population (a third of residents were born outside Sweden, many in the Middle East) has made it the falafel capital of Europe, and contributes to a burgeoning food scene that also draws inspiration from the Skane region’s fishing traditions and wealth of farms. And the nearly 25-year-old Oresund Bridge has helped, along with a favorable currency exchange, to revitalize the city, making it more accessible to the artists and chefs priced out of Copenhagen.

Recommendations

  • Malmo Konstmuseum is a museum inside the Malmohus Slott, a 17th-century citadel, that houses an important collection of Scandinavian art.
  • The Disgusting Food Museum takes visitors on a sensory tour of foods that can provoke strong reactions, while prompting plenty of discussion about the fine line between delight and disgust.
  • Ribersborg Kallbadhus is an old-fashioned bathhouse, where local practice is to alternate between baking naked in the sauna and plunging into the chilly sea.
  • Saltimporten is a beloved canteen on an industrial pier with long, communal tables and a rotating, daily dish that highlights the region’s produce.
  • Form/Design Center , in a half-timbered farmhouse in Lilla Torg, a lively square, hosts eclectic exhibitions focused on architecture and craft.
  • Folkets Park , founded in 1893 as a refuge for Malmo’s working families, today has whimsical playgrounds, wading pools and a petting zoo, with a Moorish-inspired pavilion for cultural events .
  • Hundrastplatsen is a dog beach that offers an excellent view of frolicking puppies as well as of the Turning Torso , the twisted highrise that is a Malmo landmark.
  • Aster , a restaurant with an outdoor patio in the industrial Varvstaden district, pours natural wines and turns out dishes cooked over an open flame.
  • Solde is a bare-bones coffee bar that roasts its own beans and bakes shatteringly flaky croissants.
  • Marvin serves fried chicken sandwiches in summer, savory pies in winter, and ice-cream sandwiches year-round.
  • Korvhuset sells more than 100 kinds of sausages to cook at home, and offers a smaller selection to eat straight off the grill in-store.
  • Varnhems ’s falafel, wrapped in housemade bread, is a strong contender for the best in Malmo.
  • Bageri Leve is a vegan bakery with a cardamom bun that tastes as buttery as the traditional version.
  • Farina is a bakery that specializes in airy versions of the cream-filled Italian buns called maritozzi.
  • Kold sells ice cream in global flavors like Vietnamese coffee and dulce de leche.
  • Lyran , one of Malmo’s toughest reservations, is a tiny bistro with ever-changing tasting menus that work magic with vegetable-forward dishes.
  • Bar Kiosko , with well-made Negronis, a killer playlist and a convivial atmosphere, feels like the long-standing neighborhood bar of your dreams.
  • Far i Hatten is a restaurant and bar within Folkets Park with occasional live music and a wine cellar.
  • Ruths , centrally wedged between Stortorget and Lilla Torg, is an all-day cafe with granola and scones for breakfast, bright salads for lunch and a Mediterranean-inflected menu in the evening.
  • Aplace specializes in Danish and Swedish designers for both men and women.
  • AB Smaland , a store with clothing and homeware, offers fetchingly thick sweaters, clean-lined ceramics and naturally dyed linens.
  • Trés Bien sells menswear with a 1990s streetwear vibe.
  • Birgitta Helmersson crafts comfy garments made from sustainably sourced or recycled fabrics.
  • Story Hotel soars up from the harbor area. Located on a spit of land next door to the university, it offers excellent views of skyline and sea from its sleekly modern rooms, as well as from its 14th-story restaurant and cocktail bar. Rooms start at 1,389 sek, or about $136, a night.
  • The centrally located MJ’s is as much a party as it is a boutique hotel. It has a popular restaurant in its courtyard and regularly hosts D.J.s in the lobby that doubles as a lively bar. Behind their noise-reducing double doors, the comfortable rooms are sexily furnished with velvet sofas and suggestive photography. Rooms start at 1,225 sek a night.
  • The More Hotel Mazetti , housed in a former chocolate factory, is just a few minutes walk from Triangeln station. This affordable choice offers studios with sitting and kitchen areas, all designed in a soothingly Scandinavian style, and is available for one night, or as long as six months. Rooms start at 1,095 sek a night.
  • If seeking a short-term rental , try the residential Västervång area for a taste of Swedish seaside life. The neighborhood, dotted with fish smokeries and boat docks, is just 15 minutes by bike to the city center. Accommodations range from traditional wooden cottages to contemporary high-rise apartments.
  • Trains from Copenhagen (150 sek) arrive at Malmo Central Station, and include two intermediary stops in the city, so the line functions as a mini-subway. A comprehensive system of buses — green for city; yellow for regional — make up the rest of the public transportation. The easiest way to get information and tickets for all options is through the Skanetrafiken app . Or rent a bike through Malmo By Bike (80 sek for a 24-hour pass), easy to find just about anywhere.

Diners sit at benches alongside a long wooden table in a dining hall space.

After closing their acclaimed fine-dining restaurant, Trio, in 2011, the chefs Ola Rudin and Sebastian Persson decided to quit the Michelin rat race in favor of a healthy work-life balance. The result was Saltimporten, a now-beloved canteen that is open only for weekday lunches. Located on an industrial pier about a 20-minute walk north from Malmo’s central train station, Saltimporten seats guests — many of whom work in the creative businesses nearby — at long, communal tables, and offers a single dish that changes daily (recently, it was braised ox cheek with beets and currants), as well as a vegetarian alternative, made with ingredients from regional farms. Lunch about 135 sek, or $13, per person.

The inside of a store with a grand interior — there are ornate wood carvings, ironwork and an old-fashioned clockface.

Apoteket Lejonet

Malmo’s old town radiates around two lively squares, the imaginatively labeled Stortorget (the Big Square) and Lilla Torg (Little Square). The larger is dominated at one end by a 16th-century town hall, which owes its red-brick facade and ornate gables to an 1860s facelift. A few doors down is the late-19th-century Apoteket Lejonet, Sweden’s oldest pharmacy, with handsome woodwork and antique medicine jars. A half-timbered farmhouse on Lilla Torg houses the Form/Design Center , with eclectic temporary exhibitions that focus on architecture and craft (free general entry; main exhibition ticket, 50 sek). The surrounding cobblestone streets, lined with low, pastel-colored houses and dotted with alluring handicraft shops, like Formargruppen , and the occasional natural wine bar, like the charming Julie , show how Malmo residents lived before they went in for blocky postwar housing.

A plate that holds a piece of charred fish, sauce and some grilled vegetables. Next to the plate is a glass of red wine.

Part of what gives Malmo its distinctive feel is the harbor that cuts deep into the city's northern end. Much of the area is still quite industrial, but its western edge is gradually acquiring new residential and commercial life. Aster , which opened amid warehouses in the Varvstaden district in 2021, is a big reason to visit. Its inviting outdoor patio is the perfect way to while away a fall evening, sipping natural wines and working through a menu where most dishes, from the juicy grilled peaches atop an oozing plate of burrata, to the meaty tranche of hake with just-foraged chanterelles, to a flavorful hunk of lamb charred with piquillo peppers, has been cooked over open flames. Dinner for two, with wine, about 2,300 sek.

A public square in the daytime that is lined with grand, European facades.

Apoteket Lejonet, Sweden’s oldest pharmacy, in Stortorget (the Big Square).

A tray of croissants on a counter. A person out of focus behind pours what looks like sugar into a metal bowl.

Caffeinate at Solde , just across from the hotels and shops of central Gustav Adolfs Square, a small, bare-bones coffee bar that roasts its own beans, pulls a masterful espresso and has an 80s-inflected playlist that forms the perfect soundtrack for people-watching through the shop’s big windows. It’s nearly as revered — including by some of the area’s best bakers — for its shatteringly flaky croissants, baked in house. Breakfast about 70 sek.

A wooden-plank walkway leading to a red brick, fortress-like building with an arched portal.

Malmohus Slott

Malmohus Slott, a 17th-century citadel hunkered within a moat in the city center, is worth visiting just for its imposing architecture. But a slew of other diversions adds to its appeal. Inside the castle’s walls, the Malmo Konstmuseum (60 sek) houses an important collection of Scandinavian art, including a number of wistfully Nordic landscapes by the renowned Swedish artist Carl Frederik Hill, as well as a strong selection of early 20th-century Russian art. The vast surrounding park holds a chubby windmill, a bloom-filled organic garden, and meandering paths through the woods. And just across the street from the castle grounds, fishermen still sell the day's catch from a row of painted wooden huts, a remnant of Malmo's seafaring traditions.

“Most people don’t throw up,” the attendant admitted to me as I entered the Disgusting Food Museum with a vomit bag that doubles as an entry ticket (220 sek). “But isn’t it better to be prepared?” The museum, in Malmo’s central old town, has generated plenty of reactions (beyond just the bodily ones) since opening in 2018. But its displays of global delicacies, from Mongolian sheep eyeball juice to Sweden’s own surstromming, a fermented canned herring that has to be opened under water to control the odor, encourages you to think about your own response, too. The exhibition culminates in a tasting bar (optional, included in ticket) where the daring can sample the products. There is a message to this madness: between the Chinese rice wine with fermented baby mice and the crispy mopane worms from Botswana are Twinkies and root beer, a reminder that the line between disgusting and delicious is in the mouth of the beholder.

The interior of a restaurant that looks like an American diner, with checkerboard floors, red vinyl seats and chrome-edged tables.

Continue the culinary odyssey at the nearby Marvin , where the British transplant Matt Young serves spicy fried chicken in English muffins in summer, savory pies in winter, and fried mac-and-cheese nuggets and ice-cream sandwiches year-round, all housemade (lunch about 240 sek). For a more classic Malmo meal, head to Korvhuset , a block from the museum. The shop, which looks like a 1950s American diner, sells 101 varieties of sausage to cook at home, and also grills a smaller selection to eat on the spot, preferably accompanied by mashed potatoes. The House Special, a fat pork bratwurst of which Korvhuset’s owner says he sells over 6,000 a year, is a good choice, paired with an elderflower soda (around 100 sek for both). Or stroll 20 minutes east to V a rnhems , serving crisp, flavorful falafel, that many consider the city's best, wrapped in housemade flatbread (50 sek).

A clothing rack in a store with hangers holding pink, green and orange garments.

Thrifty Danish fashionistas often cross the bridge to shop at lower prices than they can find at home, and the area around Davidshallgatan, with its mix of new design and vintage shops, is a prime destination. Aplace specializes in Danish and Swedish designers for both men and women, from the riotous colors and curves of Stine Goya to the raw, minimalist styles of Hope . AB Sm a land offers fetchingly thick sweaters, clean-lined ceramics, and naturally dyed linens. The menswear at Trés Bien sports a clear 1990s streetwear vibe, while Birgitta Helmersson sells not only the comfy garments she crafts from sustainably sourced or recycled fabrics, but also the “zero waste” sewing patterns (cut to minimize the amount of fabric needed) that she designs them with.

A display of baked treats that are topped with frosting and other garnishes.

Bageri Leve

For many Swedes, fika — taking a break for coffee, cake and a spot of socializing — is practically a mandatory daily ritual. But the exact cakes involved are open to creative interpretation. At Bageri Leve , a five-minute walk south from Davidshall, th e redolent cardamom buns, though vegan, taste as buttery as the traditional version (on Fridays, locals line up for their special doughnut). A bit farther on, Farina , in the neighboring Mollevangen neighborhood, specializes in airy versions of the cream-filled Italian buns called maritozzi. Or stay in Davidshall and forgo the cake altogether in favor of Kold’s ice cream in inventive flavors like Vietnamese coffee and the caramel Dulce de Awesome.

One of Malmo’s toughest reservations, Lyran , in the Mollevangen district, rewards the effort. At both its ground-floor counter and in the cozy dining room below, the tiny bistro offers four different — and ever-changing — tasting menus: mixed, pescatarian, vegetarian and vegan (all 650 sek per person). Across all of them, the kitchen works special magic with its vegetable courses, including a surprisingly refreshing bowl of cabbage broth with impossibly sweet fresh corn, and charred leeks that melt into a pool of earthy puree. The relaxed, friendly service is perfectly gauged.

The exterior of a bar at nighttime. Tables are set up outside, and people can be seen drinking inside through the large windows. A glowing sign reads "Kiosko."

From Lyran, walk across Jesus Park to Bar Kiosko which, despite being only a couple of years old, feels like the long-standing neighborhood bar of your dreams. It boasts well-made Negronis and icy draft beers served from its curving wooden bar, a killer playlist, and a convivial atmosphere that makes you feel like you’re at a party with good friends. After, stroll over to Folkets Park , which, founded in 1893, is Sweden’s oldest “people’s park.” A green space intended as a refuge for Malmo’s working families, it today combines whimsical playgrounds, wading pools and a petting zoo, with a Moorish-inspired pavilion for cultural events and other spaces clearly meant for adults. Far i Hatten is one of them: a restaurant and bar with occasional live music acts and a wine cellar far better than it needs to be.

An orange sky glows over a river in a park.

Slottsparken, a historic park near the castle.

A cafe with a blue-tile counter and pastries on display.

Centrally wedged between Stortorget and Lilla Torg, Ruths is an all-day favorite, serving crisp salads and house-cured charcuterie for lunch and a Mediterranean-inflected menu in the evening. But breakfast is where it really excels. Fuel up for what lies ahead with crunchy housemade granola, a luscious shakshuka, or beautiful scones with plum jam. Breakfast around 200 sek per person.

From Ruths, jump on a shared bicycle using the Malmo By Bike app and head west to the Hundrastplatsen (or dog beach) for an excellent view of frolicking puppies to go with that of the Turning Torso , the twisted highrise designed by the Spanish starchitect Santiago Calatrava that has become a Malmo landmark. From there, it's a short ride to the long wooden pier that leads to the Wes Anderson-esque Ribersborg Kallbadhus. At this old-fashioned bathhouse, the local practice is to alternate between baking naked in the sauna and plunging — also naked (both sauna and bathing areas are segregated by sex) — into the chilly sea. All this invigoration for only 85 sek ($8), with towel and locker rental extra.

Open Up Your World

Considering a trip, or just some armchair traveling here are some ideas..

52 Places:  Why do we travel? For food, culture, adventure, natural beauty? Our 2024 list has all those elements, and more .

Lima, Peru : The city, with its decade-long dining boom , now holds three places on the World’s 50 Best Restaurants list, as many chefs embrace Indigenous Andean and Amazonian ingredients in the seafood.

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Marseille, France :  Get the full flavor of France’s second-largest city through its favorite street food — pizza  — whether it’s topped with raw garlic, sweet Corsican sausage, Emmental cheese or anchovies.

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Large water main break floods Dorchester roadway, shuttle busses replace MBTA service

BOSTON — Crews are cleaning up after a large water main break in Boston’s Dorchester neighborhood Tuesday night.

Officials say the break happened in between Dorchester Avenue and Ashmont Street.

Video shows the roadway completely flooded out.

Boston Water and Sewer is urging motorists to avoid the area until the water levels recede. They say multiple services will be impacted and customers may experience discolored water.

They did not provide an estimate of when repairs would be completed.

Repairs underway. Customers may experience discolored water which is common after a main break. Multiple services may be impacted. Discoloration will clear once crews flush the system when repairs complete.. We apologize for the inconvenience and expect make repairs expeditiously — BWSC (@BOSTON_WATER) September 18, 2024

The MBTA is using shuttle buses to replace service between Ashmont and JFK/UMass due to the water leak affecting the track area.

The MBTA did not give an estimate on when the shuttle buses will be phased out.

Red Line Ashmont Branch: Shuttle buses are replacing service between Ashmont and JFK/UMass while the Power Department continues to work on issues related to last night’s water main break near Ashmont station. — MBTA (@MBTA) September 18, 2024

The MBTA also posted that Braintree Branch passengers at JFK/UMass can board Braintree shuttles at the station. Riders do not need to go to Ashmont to access the shuttles.

With repairs underway, Boston Water and Sewer said people in the area might have discolored water.

That discoloration should clear once crews flush the system after the repairs are complete.

While that water is safe to drink, Boston Water and Sewer does not recommend people use it to wash clothes as it can cause stains.

No estimated repair time has been given as of Wednesday morning.

This is a developing story. Check back for updates as more information becomes available.

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Woman Sets Out to Have 50 First Dates and Film Them All — But It's Not About a Free Dinner (Exclusive)

Over the past year, Liberty Schultz has been on 35 first dates

break up travel

Liberty Schultz

  • Liberty Schultz's dating adventure began on Sept. 20, 2023, following a difficult breakup
  • After talking with a friend she was inspired to start dating again, and she set a goal to experience 50 first dates and document them on social media
  • To find potential matches, Schultz created a Google Form for her friends and social media followers, asking for names and details about candidates’ ages, best qualities and a photo
  • Over the past year she's gone on 35 dates

Throughout the past year, Liberty Schultz has been on 35 first dates — and she has no intention of stopping anytime soon.

Her dating adventure began on Sept. 20, 2023, following a difficult breakup with a close friend. Disillusioned by dating apps and tired of the typical bar dates, Schultz decided to reinvent her approach to finding love. Motivated by a friend’s belief in genuine connections, she set a goal to experience 50 first dates and document them all on social media.

To find potential matches, Schultz created a Google Form for her friends and social media followers, asking for names and details about candidates’ ages, best qualities and a photo. Despite her relatively modest following, the response was overwhelming, with friends eagerly recommending potential dates.

"I knew they would be good guys," Schultz, 25, tells PEOPLE exclusively. "My friends could vouch for them, and I’d often hear from friends wanting to set me up but nothing ever materialized. This was their chance."

In addition to the form, Schultz met potential dates through spontaneous encounters and social media.

"One of the guys I met while playing pickup soccer," she recalls. "We kicked the ball around and ended up going on a date. I also reached out to people via DM and through friends. Even some of my followers have set me up with people, suggesting that we might get along well."

Never miss a story — sign up for  PEOPLE's free daily newsletter  to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 

For her dates, Schultz used the Adventure Challenge Couples Edition book, which features scratch-off date suggestions. "The book has all these quirky, adventurous ideas. I wanted to avoid the usual drinks and dinner and try something more exciting," she explains.

Among her favorite dates were two particularly memorable ones. One involved an air mattress picnic on a lake in February, which, despite the freezing temperatures, proved to be a fun and revealing experience. "We were in swimsuits, floating on an air mattress, trying to eat strawberries and drink smoothies in the cold," she says. "It was a silly, memorable date that showed me the guy’s true character."

Another standout date involved visiting a thrift store to dress each other. "That was a super fun experience," Schultz says. "It was playful and spontaneous, and I loved the creativity of it."

“There’s no set pace for this journey,” adds Schultz, a part-time nurse out of Atlanta. “It’s going a bit slower than I expected because I want it to match the pace of the people I meet. If I have a great time on a date and want to see the person again, we’ll definitely go out again — sometimes multiple times."

Some weeks, Schultz goes on two or three dates, while other weeks might be less busy due to personal commitments or travel. “I’ve been trying to pay attention to how I’m feeling. Do I need a break? Am I overwhelmed or in a bad headspace for dating? If so, I take a break,” she explains.

Schultz is also mindful about how she approaches second dates. “I take second dates very seriously. If we’re going on a second date, it means I’m genuinely interested in that person. So yes, there are multiple dates happening, and I’m fully committed to real dating.”

When Schultz discusses her quest with friends and family, one common question is about the cost of all these dates. Some wonder if she’s just going out to get free dinners, but she clarifies that’s not the point.

“Most of the time, I’ll ask if I can cover something as a way of contributing since they’re letting me film the date,” she says. “Some guys are totally fine with that and will let me, while others insist on paying. Sometimes we’ll split costs — like I’ll buy the ice cream and they’ll get the drinks. For adventure challenge dates that require supplies I’ll cover those, and the guy might handle the drinks.”

“It’s all about communication,” she adds. “We talk it through and see what works for both of us. If a guy wants to pay for everything, I’m perfectly happy with that — chivalry isn’t dead, after all!”

Before meeting a new guy, Schultz assesses her comfort level during a phone call, where she discusses date details and explains that she will be documenting the date online. “Most people know about it, especially if they've been recommended by a friend,” she says. “When matching on dating apps, I send them a video right away so they’re fully aware. I always seek verbal confirmation that they’re okay with being filmed."

For second dates, she prefers not to film, focusing instead on having a genuine conversation. “I think it literally just comes down to the connection with the person," she shares. "Some dates are simple but incredibly memorable due to the connection I feel. However, an adventurous date or something beautiful, like a sunset, makes it even more special. Pair that with an awesome guy, and it’s an experience I cherish every time.”

Since starting this journey, Schultz has amassed a following of more than 150,000 across Instagram and TikTok . She's also shared her dating stories on her podcast "IT'S A DATE."

She describes the online reaction as incredible and heartwarming.

“It’s amazing to see how many girls have been inspired to get back out there and believe that good guys are out there," Schultz says. "I receive so many DMs from people sharing their own stories of moving on from bad situations and starting to date again. The positive feedback has been overwhelmingly encouraging.”

Of course, Schultz also faces some negativity. “There are trolls who comment on things like my hair or accuse me of just doing this for free dinners,” she says. “Those comments can be tough, but they’re just a small part of the overall response. The supportive messages far outweigh the negativity, and it’s truly uplifting to see how many people are inspired by this journey.”

"I’ve grown so much throughout this process," she adds. "The biggest takeaway is that there are genuinely good guys who want to date, connect and get to know you. I lost hope for a while, but now I definitely believe again that good guys are out there. I’ve also learned that you have to put yourself out there to meet people. You can’t just stick to your comfort zone — whether it’s sitting on your couch or only hanging out with friends at a bar. Putting yourself out there is crucial to meeting someone special.”

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WTOP News

Attempted prison escape in Honduras leaves 2 inmates dead and 3 injured

The Associated Press

September 19, 2024, 3:00 PM

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MEXICO CITY (AP) — An attempted prisonbreak early Thursday in Honduras left two inmates dead and three injured, authorities said. The Latin American country has long been plagued by gang violence and overcrowded prisons.

According to officials, a total of 72 prisoners took part in the attempted escape from the men’s prison in the town of Tamara, about 19 miles (31 kilometers) from the Honduran capital of Tegucigalpa. They did not clarify how the casualties occurred.

Military police were called in to deal with the situation. The force’s commander, Col. Ramiro Muñoz, said one of the prisoners died at the prison while the other died a while later, at a nearby hospital.

“Everything is now calm and in order,” Muñoz told local media. “This isn’t going to set us back, there is no other prison in the world where this doesn’t happen.”

Muñoz said that at around 4 a.m., the prisoners barricaded themselves inside a section of the prison to distract the guards. Military police responded, he said, without elaborating.

A forensic investigation would take place to dispel any speculation, Muñoz also said.

At the women’s prison in Tamara last year, a riot broke out that killed 46 women . The carnage led to calls for change to the country’s prison system and even talk of whether Honduras should emulate the drastic zero-tolerance, no-privileges prisons set up in neighboring El Salvador by President Nayib Bukele.

In June, Honduras President Xiomara Castro, announced the creation of a new 20,000-capacity “megaprison,” as part of the government’s larger crackdown on gang violence and efforts to overhaul the long-troubled prison system.

Copyright © 2024 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, written or redistributed.

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