monkey island tour puerto rico

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Printed on 05 May 2024 from PuertoRicoDayTrips.com

Get Close to an Island Run by Monkeys

12/23- Tours are up and running. .

You will see many neat things in Puerto Rico, but wild animals are not usually one of them – except if you go check out Monkey Island. Monkey Island (officially Cayo Santiago ) is a small island, about 1 nautical mile off of the eastern coast of Puerto Rico, that is home to about 1000 free-roaming Rhesus monkeys. The monkeys are the offspring of an original group of monkeys imported from India that were used for scientific research in 1938. Operated by the University of Puerto Rico’s (UPR) Caribbean Primate Research Center (CPRC), the National Institutes of Health (NIH) and Harvard University, scientists there study the monkeys’ behavior, demographics, genetics and physiological changes. The island is not open to tourists, but you can get a view of the monkeys from the water.

I am a BIG fan of animals, so this was something I had to do! We went out one afternoon with Barefoot Travelers Rooms Adventures. They run a kayak tour over toward the island so you can view the monkeys.

We met Keishya and Bob at the launch point on the beach, directly across from Monkey Island. On our tour day, we had a bit of a storm passing, so as we waited until it was safe to go. Just so happened that three researchers from Monkey Island stopped to chat on their way home from their day of research. They told us about their jobs, the monkeys and all sorts of interesting first hand experiences and details about what goes on over on the island. Even if you don’t get to meet the researchers on your trip, Keishya is good friends with these researchers, so she can relay lots of what she has heard them say about the monkeys. The island was devastated by Hurricane Maria in 2017, so it was rough for a while, but things are looking up for the monkeys!

It was about a 20-minute kayak trip over to the island. You need to remain a number of yards away from the island so as not to disturb the monkeys. It is cool- you can see the monkeys doing their usual monkey business . Their antics were fascinating to watch.

At no point can you step onto the island. There are rules in place- These are wild animals with diseases and they want to protect both the monkeys from you and you from the monkeys! I was happy to just sit in my kayak and watch these beautiful animals enjoy the afternoon. Since they are free to move around, you aren’t guaranteed to see them, but if you go at the right time or area of the islands, you have a much better chance. Keishya knows the best times/places and we saw about 50-100 monkeys during our 30 minutes of watching them. The wind must have been blowing the right way because we didn’t smell a thing.

When you’re done watching the monkeys you have to paddle your kayak back to the mainland. We did the afternoon trip and the views were beautiful, with the sun on El Yunque. Since we were delayed in starting, the sun was beginning to set and the clouds were colorful. I really enjoyed the trip. All in all, we were on the water about 2 hours.

Barefoot Travelers Rooms and Adventures has several kayaks (single and double) that they use for these trips. They can easily handle a group of up to 6 people. They also provide dry bags for cameras, and life vests (that you are required to wear). You should also plan to bring along one bottle of water for each person in your party … all the kayaking and the sun will make you thirsty.

Minimum group size is 2 people, maximum 6 people. Reservations required.

If you're happy, let them know it — Don't forget to tip your your bartender, tour guide or trip operator if you enjoyed yourself. Gratuities are appreciated and typically aren't included in the price they charge you.

Barefoot Travelers Rooms and Adventures doesn’t have any set schedule for this trip. They are available most days. Contact them in advance to set up your trip.

You can visit the Barefoot Travelers Rooms and Adventures web site for more information.

You can call Barefoot Travelers Rooms and Adventures at 787.850.0508 for more information or to make a reservation.

Remember to wear lots of sunscreen!

You should probably allow a good half-day for this trip. You may have to wait out a storm, like we did, or you may have to paddle to a different part of the island to find some monkeys to watch.

Click on a placename below to view the location on Google Maps ...

• Monkey Island
• Monkey Island, kayak launch point

PuertoRicoDayTrips.com assumes no responsibility regarding your safety when participating in the activities described in this article. Please use common sense! If your mother or that little voice in your head tells you that you are about to do something stupid … then don't do it! Read more about Safety →

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Kayaking Around Monkey Island, Puerto Rico

Cayo Santiago “Monkey Island” Humacao, Puerto Rico kayaking tour of the island and Rhesus monkey watching

On the East Coast of Humacao, Puerto Rico, close to Palmas del Mar , is an adorably named place of Monkey Island.  The island is easily visible from the shore of Punta Santiago.  Cayo Santiago, also known as Monkey Island, is shaped like a lower case r, and is a research colony/habitat to Rhesus Monkeys.

And you can kayak out to the island for up close viewing of the Monkeys!

To clear up some possible confusion, Mona Island (Isla de Mona) is located 41 miles (66 km) west of the main island of Puerto Rico, it literally means Monkey Island and is located in the deep, rough waters in the Mona Passage. Cayo Santiago is located 0.6 miles (1 km) off the east coast near Punta Santiago in Humacao, Puerto Rico. Cayo Santiago is known as “Monkey Island” due to an active Rhesus monkey colony and facilities devoted to research that can be easily viewed by kayak and small watercrafts from Punta Santiago.

A couple friends of mine booked a kayaking trip to Monkey Island and invited me along.  The low price and spending time with friends , plus the possibility of MONKEYS, made it an easy decision!

Everyone on our tour had previous experience on Sea Kayaks, so we had a quick refresher course plus a few tandem paddling tips, then into our kayaks.  Camera and personal items were double bagged in dry bags provided by Barefoot Travelers.

The water was a bit choppy, so we had a great workout paddling out the half mile to the island.  Only a few minutes into the journey, our tour guide Keishya was already pointing out movement in the trees, then monkey shadows as we approached the island.

We paddled the kayaks out to just short of the island, as only researchers are allowed on the island.  The sandy bottom is as shallow as 3 feet in certain areas.  There are a few spots around the island to drop anchor and walk around the clear, shallow water.  Boats are too big to get this close, so kayaks are the BEST way to see the island and the monkeys that live there!

As we quietly stood in the water near our kayaks, there was a parade of monkeys crossing the sand bridge and surrounding beach!  Mommy monkeys with newborn baby monkeys pressed together, young monkeys scampering about, pregnant monkeys, and even a couple rare blonde monkeys came out to watch us watch them!

Most of the monkeys are the size of large cats.

They roam around the island freely.  A few monkeys watched us, watching them.

Monkeys can easily be spotted in the trees, on the beach, and just hanging around.

Our knowledgeable guide told us the history of the island, monkey stories, and answered all of our monkey questions.

There is an old shipwreck near the island in shallow water (approx 10-12 feet deep).  Snorkel and mask were retrieved from another dry bag and within minutes we were swimming with a variety of fish around the shipwreck.  We saw many fish, including puffer fish, bright orange starfish and an octopus!  Our group swam around pointing out various fish and features of the ship wreck.

Our tour guide tailored our trip based on the activities of the monkeys and our preferences.  We had plenty of time to watch the monkeys.  We snorkeled all around the calm waters West of the island.  We even opted for an extra rest stop before the final paddling back to shore.

Drone Overview

Drone video of Cayo Santiago, also known as Monkey Island, in Humacao, Puerto Rico. Overhead view of the research facilities and a glimpse of the Rhesus Monkeys that live on the island as of December 2022. Starting from Punta Santiago beach flying over the water to Cayo Santiago and back to shore.

What to Wear

• Bonus points for UV protection shirt and/or leggings/pants for the fair skinned folks trying to avoid a sunburn!

Our trip was a snorkeling and kayaking tour around the island.  So I wore a protective water shirt and shorts over my bikini, and water shoes.

Next time, I will wear a fitted hat or visor to keep the sun off of my face, and perhaps long pants to prevent a weird tan line from the shorts.  Even though I wore a ton of sun block, there was quite the tan line around my sunglasses and shorts.  Also, for the snorkeling part, I (stupidly) took off my shirt without applying more sunblock and got a sunburn on my back.

I was especially impressed with the quality of the provided gear.  Quality masks and snorkel (with the fancy float mechanism that closes to prevent water from entering when submerged), plus water shoes (if you do not have your own), life jackets of course, good paddles, and nice two-person sea kayaks.  All of the equipment is well cared for.  I felt safe and comfortable both for the equipment and Barefoot Travelers as our guide.

Assume everything will get wet!  Even stuff in dry bags gets a little moist from the humidity and your hands, if you open the bag at any point in the trip.  Leave dry towel and nonessential items in the car.  I squeezed out my shirt and shorts and was dry within a few minutes of exiting the kayaks anyway.

Since my friends had originally booked the tour, I just showed up.  To my pleasant surprise, I had met the tour guide owner/operator Keishya at a local event a few weeks earlier (Puerto Rico is a small island).  And the end of our tour, we met her husband and partner, Bob.

Who we Booked with:   Barefoot Travelers ( FB page ) and website for booking a tour (reservations required for the twice daily tours).  I know why Trip Advisor have given them well-deserved Certificate of Excellence Awards.  Oh, and they have a guest house accommodations to rent.

  A photo posted by Jen Morrow (@jentheredonethat) on Jun 12, 2016 at 12:46pm PDT

Gratuity:  Monetary tips are common practice for tours.  There is no room for a tip jar on the kayaks, so don’t be shy to show your appreciation with cash in hand when returning your rental gear.

No special consideration was given to me other than being a paying guest.  I had previously met the owner, and while I received a fantastic workout, I highly suspect that Barefoot Travelers treat all of their guests this well!

Stay nearby in the charming beachfront village of Punta Santiago, Puerto Rico and enjoy the Humacao Nature Reserve for more kayaking, hiking, and biking along the nature trails.

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71 thoughts on “Kayaking Around Monkey Island, Puerto Rico”

Wonderful places.

Wonderful article.

• Pingback: Monkey Island, Puerto Rico | Watch the Rhesus Monkeys from nearby Kayak - Puertorico Digital News
• Pingback: Monkey Island Puerto Rico | BEFORE and AFTER Hurricane Maria - Puertorico Digital News

Looks like you had a great time in Puerto Rico Island. I have recently been there. Snorkeling looks really amazing but I missed to do that. I must have read your post before. Thanks for sharing. Anyone who is visiting there, please don’t miss Snorkeling. I am regretting now.

Yes, Puerto Rico has some fantastic snorkeling! So many great snorkeling spots await you, when you come back!

This trip sounds awesome! You mentioned they were reasonably priced. Do you recall how much the trip was?

For a half day excursion, it was under $100. I think it was $80 per person, but I do not remember exactly. After Hurricane Maria the tour is modified and I do not know the updated pricing.

This is very wonderful piece of information. I have never been to Puerto Rico, but it looks like I must make plan now.

I am happy that you enjoyed this post! Be sure to check out some of my other posts on Puerto Rico for more inspiration and travel ideas.

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Snorkeling atop a shipwreck sounds like so much fun! That must’ve been a spectacular sight!

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Wow you are so lucky to have this beautiful place on your doorstep. I love kayaking. You get to see such interesting places that aren’t accessible on land. Monkey Island would be my dream trip. I think I would be a little nervous getting close to them in case they jumped on my kayak but they look so cute!

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I am so amazed! Puerto Rico has so much to offer in terms of activities. I love kayaking and paddling, but I really dislike interacting with monkeys. They were the worst in Jaipur.

I have heard about the out of control monkeys in tourist traps. I am so happy that the Monkeys on Cayo Santiago are in a natural habitat and well cared for. They are well behaved and interesting to watch. Again, there is no direct interaction of the monkeys while kayaking around the island.

I love sea kayaking and the monkeys are an added bonus. I am not sure my husband would agree though as the last time we kayaked last month in the Philippines, he only capsized his kayak and got stuck on some coral. I had to tow his kayak to the beach where the hotel staff emptied the water and then take it back to rescue him. I had a lot of laughs at his expense but for some reason he did not see the funny side!

HAHA, yes I see how that might not be funny for him. Fortunately, most of the water around Monkey Island is shallow, with many spots only 3-4 feet deep so a capsized kayak is no big deal.

I love monkeys and so would be really tempted to check this place out if I’m ever in Puerto Rico. Do you know any more about what the purpose of the research island is and what kind of research they are doing there? Have always wanted to try sea kayaking too so could possibly kill two bird with one stone. Snorkeling the ship wreck must have been fab as well.

The colony was established after removing the monkeys from medical research facilities. Now it is an observation habitat only. No experiments on these monkeys, just well fed and looked after.

That is good to know. So wonderful that they are now free from the medical research and can behave like normal monkeys on their little island. 🙂

Wow I think you have found yourself a little Gem. i have not heard of this before. I plan on doing Central America some time soon and I will def. check this our when it is closer to this day. Thank you for this review.

Glad to read this! Picking up South American countries that we are going to visit. But we only have six months. I hope it won’t be as expensive as I thought it would be.

Yayks! That was a comment for a different blog! What I wanted to say, seeing monkeys in their natural habitat makes me happy. Paddling, saltwater, and wild animals are perfect elements of an adventure! Enjoyed it! Thank you, Jen!

It is a delight to see monkeys in their natural homes! Paddling, saltwater, and cute animals are the perfect combination for a great adventure! Thank you for this, Jen! Enjoyed it!

This looks really fun! I love kayaking and certainly would be happy to see the monkeys from afar!

The whole experience seems to be a lot of fun. I would be really interested to getting close to the ship wreck. Sounds quite intriguing.

I love kayaking excursions and this one looks really fun. Were you able to go onto the island and explore? I’d love to snorkel around the shipwreck. Very cool!

Nope, no people (other than authorized researchers) are allowed on the island.

An island filled with monkeys, how interesting! Never heard of Monkey Island before. Did you feed the monkeys?

No feeding the monkeys, and you are not allowed on Monkey Island. Visitors can look from the water off of the island only.

Ohh this looks fun! I’ve always wanted to go to Puerto Rico and now I have another reason why I should! Kayaking is always one activity I enjoy and it’s cool that the company provided waterproof bags for your gear!

How cute are those monkeys! This sounds like such an awesome experience, and I definitely bookmarked it for future reference. The snorkeling also sounds like it was beautiful!

Those look like pretty calm waters but I would still be terrified of all the wild sea creatures that are out there. However, as you said, for MONKEYS, it would be worth it!

The wild sea creates in the waters around Monkey Island consist mostly of starfish and colorful fish. The waters around the shipwreck are so clear, you can see all around you.

OMG! The monkeys!! This is seriously my cuteness overload for today. Never been kayaking, but I’d definitely paddle my way there just to see these cuties 😀 hopefully they don’t throw stuff at me to stop the annoying screeching coming from me 😀

No, these Monkeys did not throw anything. Many were playing on the beach, or just hanging out in trees. And since people are not allowed on the island with the monkeys, there is really no danger at all.

What a fantastic experience! I would be afraid to go near the island, as I’m not really comfortable around monkeys, especially when they are so big. But from the water I wouldn’t have a problem. I love snorkeling too, I wish I can do it more often in my trips.

What a great post! Puerto Rico is on my bucket list and this article about Monkey Island was truly motivating to head there sooner than later. I also want to take up kayaking so I will refer back to your piece! Thank you for sharing!

Oh my this must have been so exciting. I would love to see them from a distance. The last time I was near the vicinity of a monkey, the little devil wasnt very kind to me. 😛

Puerto Rico is a magnificent country in terms of nature and wildlife, I am happily surprised to see how many different options one can get to do different activities on the island. Water sports are always fun and engaging, and it’s much better when you feel safe because you are given the right gear. Awesome experience.

What a fun tour! I have a kayak tour that might be coming up soon.

I have been told monkeys are always very curious, is it right? The experience should have been fantastic!

Some certainly were curious. Most barely glanced our way.

I didn’t know about this island when we visited Peurto Rico. Yet another reason to go back. I love seeing monkeys in the wild.

Kayaking, monkey spotting and snorkeling! What a fun day out you guys got to do and see a lot. I think it’s so special that the entire island is inhabited by monkeys. I also thought it was funny that they were watching you watch them.

I have never heard of this place. It looks intriguing, one more place to put on my bucket list. Thanks for sharing.

I had no idea there were monkeys in Puerto Rico, even less that there was a whole island full of them! That sounds like a great visit

Monkeys are not native to Puerto Rico, they were brought onto the island habitat after being removing from testing/research facilities.

The whole experience looks like so much fun and omg sooo many monkeys! But since the kayaking went all good I guess they werent the notorious kind. 🙂

I would love to see those monkeys! I’ve only ever seen wild monkeys in Brazil but not a whole island of them. Puerto Rico really is an amazing island. And great that your guide gave enough time to see them.

What fun. Would love to do kayaking and snorkeling here. Loved your pictures too.

Tons of monkeys!! I recently had my glasses stolen by a monkey in Indonesia! lol 🙁 My new ones will be in Monday though haha! I’m not sure I can look at them the same 😛 Looks like you had fun!

I always wanted to explore a shipwreck and this whole activity looks so much fun!!! Thanks for sharing the incredible experience 🙂

I love love seeing animals in the wild. I have been to a few monkey islands or spots before but never gone by kayaking. That would be a really awesome experience.

Monkey island and snorkeling sound like so much fun. The tips you gave are very handy. I wouldn’t have thought of wearing UV clothing or water shoes. And a good thing that they provided water proof bags for your phones and personal items 🙂

I’m thoroughly impressed! I tried sea kayaking once and my arms were BURNING and I know I didn’t go a half mile! I love that the #1 thing you recommend wearing is sunblock. Haha! Looks like you had a blast and I would love to see photos of the snorkeling! Cheers!

I was so excited to snorkel, I did not take any photos!!! I need to go back, just for more photos!

Never knew this type of kayaking existed! Got to visit Puerto Rico and try this out. Opened a new world for me!

Puerto Rico is such a beautiful Island. I never knew you could do this and this type of adventure is right up my alley. Next time I visit I will be sure to look it up. Thanks for sharing. Happy Roving!!!

They are soo cute! And seems like you have a great time. I hope there is someone who is keeping on eye for these cute monkeys, if there is – kudos for them!

Researchers visit the island regularly for monkey health check, census, and feeding. These cuties get plenty of attention!

This seems so much fun, especially since you get to do snorkeling. Also, those little monkeys are cute!

That sounds like such a fun kayaking experience! I have to be careful kayaking in choppy waters though, sometimes I get a bit motion sickness kayaking. I would love to check this out when we go to Puerto Rico!

Oh man! That’s a lot of monkeys! Hope they don’t jump on you while kayaking.

Some monkeys enjoyed watching us, but most of them just went about their day like we were not there. Since the island is a protected habitat, people (non-researchers) are not allowed on the island, and must keep a little distance from the monkeys anyway. We were never close enough to touch, or for the monkeys to jump out to us. Everyone (tourists and monkeys) are perfectly safe.

Now those are some alluring captures. Hope I will be able to trip there. Thanks for the booking tips.

Looks fantastic. A great way to explore an area.

This was a super helpful blog post! I’ve always wanted to go to Puerto Rico, and kayaking around there to watch wildlife seems incredible. Thanks for sharing!

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Puerto Rico

Exploring history, culture and natural wonders

Travel | May 17, 2022

The Puerto Rican Island Where 1,500 Monkeys Rule

The Caribbean Primate Research Center on Monkey Island is one of the world’s top institutions for studying primate behavior

Jennifer Nalewicki

Travel Correspondent

On the morning of September 20, 2017, Hurricane Maria made landfall in Puerto Rico, pummeling the island with 170 mile per hour wind gusts and flooding rain. It would be the first category 4 hurricane to strike the island in nearly 85 years, leaving many citizens without basic necessities like electricity, food, running water and shelter. However, in the storm’s aftermath, one community of residents emerged largely unscathed: some 1,500 rhesus macaques living a mile off the eastern shore of Puerto Rico on Cayo Santiago.

The island, known locally as Monkey Island, first became home to these unlikely inhabitants in the late 1930s, when primatologist Clarence Carpenter brought about 450 of the monkeys by ship from India to the 38-acre island to study their social and sexual behaviors. Through that initial pioneering research, the tree-studded enclave eventually became home to the Caribbean Primate Research Center , an educational and research facility that’s part of the University of Puerto Rico. Over the years, generations of monkeys have descended from that original colony, and today those descendants roam freely around the island, playing on its sandy beaches and exploring its endless canopy of trees. The rhesus macaques—each weighing about 20 pounds and known for their long, fluffy tails and straw-colored fur—live largely independent from human intervention (minus feedings).

After the hurricane ravaged Puerto Rico, researchers from the center feared the worst for the monkeys, unsure if they would even survive the storm. (Initial news reports were saying that the human death toll was hovering at 65 casualties.) However, once it was safe to return to the island, the scientists were surprised to find that the furry inhabitants had persevered.

“Two days after the storm, members of our staff took a boat to the island to feed them,” says Alyssa Arre , the center’s scientific director. “Everyone worried that the monkeys had died, but that wasn’t the case.”

Arre says it’s impossible to say for sure if any of the monkeys succumbed to the storm, however the workers tasked with taking daily census counts of the population didn’t find any irregularities.

While no cameras exist on the island to capture exactly how the macaques faired during the storm, Arre suspects that they sought shelter by climbing onto one of the island’s two hills and staying low to the ground. The only buildings on the island are used by staff for storage and research purposes.

“The hurricane destroyed all of the vegetation that the monkeys use to supplement their diets,” Arre says. “The wind was so strong [it knocked off twigs and branches], so we don’t think that they climbed into trees.”

The only daily human intervention that the monkeys receive are feedings, which came about as the result of the monkeys destroying much of the vegetation early on in their arrival to the island.

“Originally, [Carpenter and his team] thought the monkeys would just live on the island without any human intervention, but the monkeys quickly destroyed all of the vegetation on the island and ate everything,” Arre says. “So, they realized they would have to start sustaining the population with food provisions, and it’s been that way since the beginning.”

Currently, their diet includes coconuts, corn, seeds, apples, papaya and Purina Monkey Chow (yes, it’s a real thing!), which are yellow egg-shaped dry biscuits. Arre confirms that the monkeys are not fans of bananas despite what movies and media may depict.

“They like to take the monkey chow and put it in a puddle and roll it around [so it softens] before they eat it,” she says.

As a research institution that has been studying these mammals for decades, it only made sense to take a closer look into how trauma, in this case a natural disaster, affected their behavior and relationships. Researchers were surprised by their findings.

“After Hurricane Maria, the monkeys had more affiliative interactions in their social networks, and their social networks expanded, so they were interacting with more individuals” Arre says. “Researchers also studied how trauma, especially early-life adversity like a hurricane, can affect a monkey’s behavior and health.”

That research would eventually become part of a study published early last year in Current Biology , concluding that the macaques “became more social” and monkeys that were more isolated prior to the hurricane “increased social connections most after it.”

Another study found that females were reproducing less frequently after the hurricane.

Since its official establishment in 1970, the center has built a reputation as a pioneer in the field of primate research and has made many important contributions to our understanding of both primate and human behavior. The late William Windle, who oversaw the perinatal physiology lab at the National Institute of Neurological Diseases and Blindness (NINDB) in San Juan, worked closely with the island as it provided resources for behavioral and reproductive studies under naturalistic conditions. Windle studied the effects that asphyxia (oxygen deprivation) can have on a monkey’s brain during birth, and the permanent damage of the brain those effects can engender. His work not only changed delivery procedures in human infants, but he also went on to be awarded the Lasker Prize in 1968 for his work. More recently, researchers who have worked at the institute have been shedding light onto Covid-19 and its effects on monkeys.

A 1939 article published in Life magazine and photographed by German photojournalist Hansel Mieth also put Monkey Island on the map. One of Mieth’s images, known for being one of the most iconic animal photos in history, features a rhesus macaque sitting in the water soaking wet.

In a later interview, Mieth explained how she captured it, saying, “One afternoon all the doctors were away and a little kid came running to me and said, ‘A monkey’s in the water’… I don’t think [the monkey] liked me, but he sat on that coral reef, and I took about a dozen shots.”

Today, the island isn’t open to the general public, in order to prevent unnecessary human contact with the monkeys. Yet, each year, visiting researchers come to the island to study the monkeys and tap into the island’s expansive database that contains more than 60 years’ worth of data, from basic demographic information (age, social groupings and maternity rates) on more than 11,000 monkeys to genetic information and a collection of more than 3,300 monkey skeletons. Their studies continue to push the needle forward in our understanding of primate behavior and how it translates to our own behavior as humans.

"Rhesus macaques make a good model for humans, as we share many characteristics of our biology and similarly live highly social lives," Arre says. "Taken together, the projects with the rhesus macaques conducted at Caya Santiago help us better understand human sociality and health, and recently, how adversity and trauma might affect the life of an individual."

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Jennifer Nalewicki | | READ MORE

Jennifer Nalewicki is a Brooklyn-based journalist. Her articles have been published in The New York Times , Scientific American , Popular Mechanics , United Hemispheres and more. You can find more of her work at her website .

PHONE: (787) 850-0508

Welcome to Barefoot Travelers Rooms Beach Guesthouse Punta Santiago, Puerto Rico

Barefoot Travelers Rooms

Barefoot Travelers Rooms, where shoes are optional, is a unique, relaxing, clean and comfortable Beach Guesthouse located off the beaten path, on the southeastern coast of Puerto Rico. We are just 6 houses from a very gentle coastline of the Caribbean Sea, nestled next to the Humacao Nature Reserve.

Our spacious guesthouse features three private guestrooms , and many shared amentities including full kitchen, dining room, living room with cable TV & DVD player, lending library of books, and complimentary WIFI internet for your laptop.

On our spacious back patio we offer a large swimming pool, tables and chairs, beach/pool towels, some beach chairs / boogie boards / coolers to borrow, and our Kayaks and Hanggliders for the spectacular adventures that are our speciality.

Just 6 houses from this beach!

Fully Equipped Kitchen

Enjoy Meals Poolside on the Patio

Dining Room

Living Room with TV & WIFI

• January 29, 2023

Monkey island puerto rico tours: Get Close to an Island Run by Monkeys

Kayaking around monkey island, puerto rico.

On the East Coast of Puerto Rico, close to our home in Palmas del Mar, Puerto Rico is an adorably named place of Monkey Island.  The island is easily visible from the shore, and looks nothing like a monkey, perhaps from overhead.  Nope.  Cayo Santiago, also known as Monkey Island, is shaped like a lower case r, and is a research colony/habitat to a bunch of Rhesus Monkeys.  And you can kayak out to the island for up close viewing of the Monkeys!

A couple friends of mine booked a kayaking trip to Monkey Island and invited me along.  The low price and spending time with friends , plus the possibility of MONKEYS, made it an easy decision!

Everyone on our tour had previous experience on Sea Kayaks, so we had a quick refresher course plus a few tandem paddling tips, then into our kayaks.  Camera and personal items were double bagged in dry bags provided by Barefoot Travelers.

We paddled the kayaks out to just short of the island, as only researchers are allowed on the island.  The sandy bottom is as shallow as 3 feet in certain areas.  There are a few spots around the island to drop anchor and walk around the clear, shallow water.  Boats are too big to get this close, so kayaks are the BEST way to see the island and the monkeys that live there!

As we quietly stood in the water near our kayaks, there was a parade of monkeys crossing the sand bridge and surrounding beach!  Mommy monkeys with newborn baby monkeys pressed together, young monkeys scampering about, pregnant monkeys, and even a couple rare blonde monkeys came out to watch us watch them!

Most of the monkeys are the size of large cats.

Monkeys can easily be spotted in the trees, on the beach, and just hanging around.

Pregnant Rhesus MonkeyHow Many Monkeys Can You See?

Our knowledgeable guide told us the history of the island, monkey stories, and answered all of our monkey questions.

Out of the Kayaks and preparing to snorkel out to the ship wreck behind the kayaks.

There is an old shipwreck near the island in shallow water (approx 10-12 feet deep).  Snorkel and mask were retrieved from another dry bag and within minutes we were swimming with a variety of fish around the shipwreck.  We saw many fish, including puffer fish, bright orange starfish and an octopus!  Our group swam around pointing out various fish and features of the ship wreck.

Rest break after paddling around Monkey Island (Cayo Santiago) Puerto Rico

What to Wear

• Bonus points for UV protection shirt and/or leggings/pants for the fair skinned folks trying to avoid a sunburn!

Our trip was a snorkeling and kayaking tour around the island.  So I wore a protective water shirt and shorts over my bikini, and water shoes.

Next time, I will wear a fitted hat or visor to keep the sun off of my face, and perhaps long pants to prevent a weird tan line from the shorts.  Even though I wore a ton of sun block, there was quite the tan line around my sunglasses and shorts.  Also, for the snorkeling part, I (stupidly) took off my shirt without applying more sunblock and got a sunburn on my back.

Assume everything will get wet!  Even stuff in dry bags gets a little moist from the humidity and your hands, if you open the bag at any point in the trip.  Leave dry towel and nonessential items in the car.  I squeezed out my shirt and shorts and was dry within a few minutes of exiting the kayaks anyway.

Since my friends had originally booked the tour, I just showed up.  To my pleasant surprise, I had met the tour guide owner/operator Keishya at a local event a few weeks earlier (Puerto Rico is a small island).  And the end of our tour, we met her husband and partner, Bob.

  A photo posted by Jen Morrow (@jentheredonethat) on Jun 12, 2016 at 12:46pm PDT

Gratuity:  Monetary tips are common practice for tours.  There is no room for a tip jar on the kayaks, so don’t be shy to show your appreciation with cash in hand when returning your rental gear.

No special consideration was given to me other than being a paying guest.  I had previously met the owner, and while I received a fantastic workout, I highly suspect that Barefoot Travelers treat all of their guests this well!

Stay nearby in the charming beachfront village of Punta Santiago, Puerto Rico and enjoy the Humacao Nature Reserve for more kayaking, hiking, and biking along the nature trails.

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Barefoot Travelers Kayak Tour to Monkey Island reviews

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494 reviews

By Meghan B

tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g644388-d1646436-r859965068-Barefoot_Travelers_Kayak_Tour_to_Monkey_Island.html”>This kayak tour is a must do when visiting Puerto Rico, especially if you’re an animal lover. Keishya is a wonderful host with a wealth of knowledge about the monkeys and the island. We were lucky…..  more

This kayak tour is a must do when visiting Puerto Rico, especially if you’re an animal lover. Keishya is a wonderful host with a wealth of knowledge about the monkeys and the island. We were lucky…..  more »

By 828steveno

We had a great time and the guide was very helpful and informative. We would defiantly go again. I highly recommend it….. 

We had a great time and the guide was very helpful and informative. We would defiantly go again. I highly recommend it…..  more »

By Funky_Freckles

Keishya is an unforgettable tour guide and host. She took us around the island and explained the history of this complex place and really valued each of the individuals she provides tours for. She is….  more

Keishya is an unforgettable tour guide and host. She took us around the island and explained the history of this complex place and really valued each of the individuals she provides tours for. She is….  more »

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National Park

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Duration: 2h 30 min

Golf Course

Palmas Del Mar Golf Club

Specialty Museum

Casa Roig Museum

Duration: 1h 30 min

Pterocarpus Forest – Palmas del Mar

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Duration: 2 hours

Cayo Icacos

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1 day in Humacao BY A USER FROM UNITED STATES Palmas Del Mar Golf Club Barefoot Travelers Kayak Tour to Monkey Island Pterocarpus Forest – Palmas del Mar

1 day in Humacao BY A USER FROM UNITED STATES El Malecon de Naguabo Barefoot Travelers Kayak Tour to Monkey Island

1 day in Humacao BY A USER FROM UNITED STATES El Malecon de Naguabo Barefoot Travelers Kayak Tour to Monkey Island Casa Roig Museum

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1 day in Puerto Rico BY A USER FROM UNITED STATES Humacao San Juan

1 day in Humacao BY A USER FROM UNITED STATES Palmas Del Mar Golf Club Barefoot Travelers Kayak Tour to Monkey Island

7 days in Humacao BY A USER FROM UNITED STATES Casa Roig Museum Barefoot Travelers Kayak Tour to Monkey Island Reserva Natural de Humacao

8 days in Humacao BY A USER FROM UNITED STATES Casa Roig Museum Barefoot Travelers Kayak Tour to Monkey Island Reserva Natural de Humacao

1 day in Humacao BY A USER FROM PUERTO RICO Palmas Del Mar Golf Club Barefoot Travelers Kayak Tour to Monkey Island

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Monkey Island.

Monkey Island? Is it in Thailand? – Ask an experienced tourist. An educated reader may recall the experiments of Soviet primatologists who released monkeys to the islands in the Leningrad region. However, there is an even more famous monkey island in the history of primatology – Cayo Santiago (also known as Isla de los Monos or Monkey Island). It is located in the Caribbean Sea, off the southeast coast of Puerto Rico. A tiny island, more precisely, two islands connected by an isthmus, with an area of ​​​​only 36 acres (for comparison, the area of ​​​​Vasilevsky Island in St. Petersburg is 2800 acres). And Cayo Santiago is inhabited by rhesus macaques.

Attempts to settle Old World monkeys on the New Islands were made long before the experiments on Santiago. Back in the 18th century, green monkeys came to the Caribbean Islands – they were brought from Africa by sailors of slave ships who kept monkeys as pets. The descendants of those furry settlers still live in Nevis, St. Kitts and Barbados, where they spoil the lives of local farmers. But these were random, natural migrants.

Bachmann’s Gibbon Enclosures at School of Tropical Medicine, 1937. From the archives of the Caribbean Primate Research Centre.

Bachman (left) and Carpenter (right), 1938. From the archives of the Caribbean Primate Research Center.

The island of Cayo Santiago belonged to the Pou family of Spaniards, in 1931 they leased it to the local sugar baron Roig for 15 years for a fantastic amount of $60 a year. The owners used the island mainly for picnics. After negotiations, Roig conceded the lease to the School of Tropical Medicine (the island was later bought by the government of Puerto Rico).

Scientists managed to get a grant of 60 thousand dollars from a private foundation, and Carpenter went to India to get new animals. The young researcher was interested in the social and sexual behavior of monkeys in nature, especially gibbons. But the first attempt turned out to be a failure.

Carpenter on the deck of a liner carrying macaques from India to New York, 1938.

But in Colombo (Ceylon), a new surprise awaited the expedition: due to the impending war with Germany, the British government blocked the passage through the Suez Canal and ordered the ship to bypass Africa. 500 monkeys on deck, the weather is unpredictable. Carpenter was responsible for feeding the pets and cleaning the cages, which he did 14-15 hours a day. The voyage to Boston took 47 days, and lo and behold! — the elements spared the travelers. Most monkeys have reached the New World safely. The valuable cargo was transported from Boston to New York. 50 monkeys were sold to the Baltimore laboratory, the rest were taken to Puerto Rico, tested for tuberculosis again. At the end of 1938, 406 monkeys were released on the island of Santiago, after each one was tattooed and special incisions were made on the ears, for subsequent identification.

Rhesus monkey from Cayo Santiago. LIFE , January 2, 1939.

Tomlin, the island’s first permanent caretaker, a man of enormous stature, became a legendary figure in Puerto Rico. It was said that Monkey Man regularly swims across the strait between Santiago and Playa de Humacao, drinks a bottle of vodka, and then swims back to his wife and macaques. Although Tomilin did make such raids, in reality he preferred rum and cola to vodka.

Mikhail Tomlin and baby rhesus monkey. LIFE January 2, 1939 A rhesus monkey is marked on its ear before being released on the island. LIFE , January 2, 1939.

The Tomlins had a favorite rock to the west of their house, where they often sat with their pet, a macaque called Pihita (“little thief”). Although Pihita periodically made robbery raids on the kitchen, the owners loved her, and Mrs. Tomlin took the monkey with her to the mainland (on a leash).

Monkeys on Cayo Santiago, 1939. From the archives of the Caribbean Primate Research Center.

However, after 6-8 months, contrary to the forecasts of skeptics, the first cub was born on the island! The joy of scientists knew no bounds. And then the population went up. In 1940, 91 monkeys were born, in 1941 – already 103. Carpenter would later write a book on macaque reproduction, C. R. Carpenter. Naturalistic Behavior of Nonhuman Primates. – Pennsylvania State University Press, University Park, 1964).

There were also failures. Carpenter’s dreams of a gibbon population in Santiago never came true. In 1939, they tried to settle a small group of these monkeys on the island. However, the long-armed fidgets turned out to be extremely conflicting. The gibbons attacked and bit the wives of Watt and Tomlin, and after getting used to it, they began to practice vocals. From their songs, according to Watt’s memoirs, “the earth really shook.” The singers did not get along not only with people, but also with other monkeys, and the cub born to gibbons was killed by rhesus. Gibbons had to be transferred to cages and then taken from the island to San Juan.

“Misogynist”. The famous photo from the magazine LIFE of January 16, 1939

The media hype died down, and the grant money was quickly running out. By March 1940, some of the monkeys had to be sold, reducing the colony to 350 animals. Soon the island came under the jurisdiction of the University of Puerto Rico. And after the US entered World War II, when German submarines were scouring Puerto Rico, research on monkeys was completely suspended, and the colonists were only fed 2-3 times a week.

The Tomlins have left the island. In 1947, the University of Puerto Rico could no longer keep monkeys and published an ad in the magazine Science , in which he proposed a colony to any organization willing to accept it. But no one had money.

However, the situation remained difficult. When a group of scientists visited Santiago in 1955, they counted 115 monkeys, some of them very thin, with bleeding wounds or scars from fights. The Tomlins’ house was almost completely eaten by termites.

Sukhumi monkey nursery, 1970s. Photo: Grigorov I./TASS newsreel.

Aerial photo of La Cueva (right) and El Guayacan (left). The islets are connected to the shore by mangrove “bridges”. In the background are the Sierra Bermeja mountains. From the archives of the Caribbean Primate Research Centre.

Deseceo Island, west of Puerto Rico.

Years passed, the jurisdiction of the “monkey island” changed, there were problems with funding, but research continued despite everything. The number of the colony was repeatedly reduced by exporting monkeys for research, for example, from 1968 to 1972 the number of macaques in the colony decreased from 800 to 300. In 1984, many primates were sent to Germany to establish their nursery, reducing the number of colonists by half – by 600 monkeys. And yet, as of 2017, Santiago has a population of more than 1,000 monkeys, and the Sabana Seca Field Station (east of San Juan), a division of the Caribbean Primate Research Center opened in the 1960s, now has 3,000 monkeys. And they are all descendants of the very first settlers brought by Carpenter in 1938.

Stuart Altmann tattoos a rhesus monkey in Cayo Santiago, 1956.

In July 1970, Donald S. Sade began to collect the skeletons of monkeys that had died on the island. This collection grew over the years and became the basis for the Caribbean Primate Research Center Museum (curated for many years by Dean Falk, a renowned paleoneurologist). Now the museum has more than 3,600 complete skeletons of rhesus monkeys in its collection.

Photo of monkey skulls from the advertising booklet of the skull collection of the Caribbean Primate Research Center, 2011.

Primatologist Carol Berman watches macaques on Cayo Santiago. 1994

The only thing that the owners of the colony could not avoid was natural disasters. Alas, the Caribbean is “famous” for hurricanes, and at least three of them hit the island in full. Hurricane Hugo was the first to visit on September 17, 1989. Most of the buildings were destroyed, trees uprooted. For many weeks the colony existed without electricity and water. However, the monkeys were almost unaffected. September 21 19In 98, Hurricane George hit, causing a lot of destruction … and again the monkeys got off with a “light fright.”

Macaques on the coast of Cayo Santiago, 2015 / Source.

The same photo taken by James Higham. 2017

According to the latest data, most of the monkeys on the island survived, moreover, after the hurricane, 15 babies were already born in the colony. Long live Monkey Island!

Rhesus family on Cayo Santiago, 2015 / Source. Sunrise over Cayo Santiago. Photo by Richard Rawlins.

1. https://www.npr.org/2015/06/27/4177

/puerto-ricos-monkey-island-lures-scientists-for-generations

2. Windle WF. 1980. The Cayo Santiago primate colony. Science 209:1486-1491.

3. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/10/08/time-running-monkey-island-devastated-hurricane-maria/

4. http://theconversation.com/ scientists-join-forces-to-save-puerto-ricos-monkey-island-84960

Holidays in the Dominican Republic

Geographical position

The Dominican Republic, together with the neighboring Republic of Haiti, occupies the island of Hispaniola (otherwise it is called the island of Santo Domingo, or the island of Haiti), which is located in the archipelago of the Greater Antilles (Caribbean) Islands. Its area is 77 thousand square meters. km. It is the second largest island in the archipelago. The area of ​​the country is 48730 sq. km. It is located on the territory from 17º40´ to 19º56´ north latitude and from 68º20´to 72º01´ west longitude.

The closest neighbors of the Dominican Republic in the southeast are the US-owned island of Puerto Rico, which is separated by the Strait of La Mona (Monkeys), the distance between the capitals of Santo Domingo and San Juan is 381 km; in the southwest – the island of Jamaica, the distance between the capitals of Santo Domingo and Kingston is 751 km; in the northwest – the largest island in the Caribbean Sea, Cuba, the distance between the capitals of Santo Domingo and Havana is 1422 km.

Political structure

In terms of its territorial structure, the Dominican Republic is a unitary state. The country is divided into provinces, which are headed by governors who are directly elected every 4 years.

The Dominican Republic has a wide road network: 12,600 km of roads (of which half are paved) connects almost all major settlements.

Typical Dominican vehicles include motoconcho (motoconcho), coches (coches) and yola (yola). Motoconcho , or motorbike, is one of the city’s most accessible forms of public transport. On one motorcycle, in addition to the driver, three more passengers can move at the same time. However, it is also the most dangerous form of transport: many people are injured or killed every year in accidents, often caused by motoconcho drivers who move around the city without completely obeying traffic rules and not following traffic signals.

Since mid-2004 the financial and economic situation has stabilized: inflation has decreased to 5% per year, and the exchange rate of the national currency against USD is kept at the level of 30-33 RD$ per 1US$.

Resort areas

The length of the coastline of the Dominican Republic is almost 1500 km. Most of it is occupied by boundless beaches, rightfully called one of the best in the world. The coastal waters washing them have crystal transparency and purity, admiring even experienced travelers. You can always choose a place to relax to your liking: either the seaside with active recreational activities offered by all-inclusive hotels, or the coast with strong enough breezes for windsurfing, or a secluded and calm place where your only neighbors will be light incoming waves and lonely growing coconut palms.

Worth seeing

Located on the island of Haiti and sharing it with the Republic of Haiti, this Caribbean country is the perfect holiday destination.

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Puerto Rico's Monkey Island Lures Scientists For Generations

Anders Kelto

Family means a lot on Cayo Santiago, an island and monkey research colony off the coast of Puerto Rico. The colony of rhesus macaques living on the island since the 1930s has allowed scientists to trace kinship ties and effects across an extended community. Anders Kelto/NPR hide caption

Family means a lot on Cayo Santiago, an island and monkey research colony off the coast of Puerto Rico. The colony of rhesus macaques living on the island since the 1930s has allowed scientists to trace kinship ties and effects across an extended community.

Imagine you're on a tropical island in the Caribbean. There are coconut trees, rocky cliffs, blue-green waters. But now, imagine there are hundreds of monkeys on this island. And, these monkeys have a disease that could kill you, if you're not careful. What you're picturing is a real-life island off the coast of Puerto Rico.

The island of Cayo Santiago hosts the oldest research center in the world for wild primates. Scientists from all over the world come to the island to study questions of primate behavior, cognition and ecology.

The island was created in the 1930s. Back then, biologists were spending a lot of time chasing monkeys around the jungles of Asia and Africa.

The idea, according to Richard Rawlins, the former director of research on Cayo Santiago, was to make things easier, by putting the monkeys on a small island, closer to the U.S., "where the animals were always there, could easily be accessed, and large amounts of data could be collected efficiently, within a short amount of time." The National Institutes of Health and the University of Puerto Rico fund the research.

Over the years, at least nine generations of rhesus macaques have yielded interesting insights into, among other things, kinship and the interplay between genetics and behavior — the sorts of questions that detailed, longitudinal research of a broad, free-ranging population can best answer.

It's sunrise, as I start my visit, and a bunch of scientists are climbing into a boat. They're wearing khaki short and boots. Some have backpacks. Someone fires up the engine and the boat begins to cross a calm channel of water. Up ahead, I can see the island — steep cliffs and lush green trees. The boat pulls up to the dock, and as we get out we scrub the soles of our shoes with a brush and dip them in pink disinfecting liquid.

We step onto the island. And right away, I hear this sort of spooky grunting noise. I can't tell where it's coming from. Then, up in a tree, I see two beige monkeys looking down.

"Just be careful they don't pee on you," says Giselle Caraballo-Cruz, a member of a team of researchers from the University of Puerto Rico who manage this island, which is called Cayo Santiago. Caraballo-Cruz actually has one of the best job titles ever — monkey island census taker.

But her warning about not getting peed on is serious. These monkeys naturally carry herpes B , a version of the virus that can be deadly to humans. So rule number one on Cayo Santiago: Don't get peed on by the monkeys.

Sean Coyne, a graduate student at the University of Chicago, is on the island studying how the monkeys' shifting hormone levels affect their sexual development. Anders Kelto/NPR hide caption

Sean Coyne, a graduate student at the University of Chicago, is on the island studying how the monkeys' shifting hormone levels affect their sexual development.

We walk along a dirt path, toward a large metal cage. It's where the scientists eat lunch. At Cayo Santiago the people are in cages and the monkeys are free, Caraballo-Cruz explains.

"It's like a zoo where the monkeys come to see the humans," she says. "They can see us eating."

Rule number two: The monkeys are the free ones.

But it's not time for the humans to eat just yet, so we keep walking — up a steep hill. Caraballo-Cruz spots a small monkey off the side of the trail, and suddenly veers way to the left. She gestures at me to follow. Steer clear of all baby monkeys, she advises, or risk a run-in with protective mother.

But if you see an adult male monkey, Caraballo-Cruz says, don't be intimidated — because the males like to mess with people. Recently, she says, a college student on the research team let a monkey bully her.

"She would run away," Caraballo-Cruz says, "and the monkey would, like, chase her." Eventually, the student stopped running, and the male macaque stopped picking on her.

And that's rule number three of Cayo Santiago: Stay away from the baby monkeys, but show the adult males who's boss.

We get to the top of the hill and the view is spectacular — the mainland of Puerto Rico behind us, open ocean in front. A white pickup truck drives past, and some men get out and unload big white bags of monkey chow. It looks like dog food. And suddenly, there are monkeys everywhere.

They're descending from the trees and walking right by our legs to get to the food. And fights are breaking out all around me. My heart is truly pounding. And in this chaos, Sean Coyne , a graduate student in the department of comparative human development at the University of Chicago, is just calmly walking among the macaques.

"Right now I'm just looking to collect fecal samples, to analyze for hormones," Coyne tells me. "The morning's the best time, when they first wake up."

Coyne spends a lot of time on the island, where he's studying how hormone levels affect monkeys' sexual development. He says that translates into a lot of time scooping up monkey poo.

"Yeah, my mom is so proud," he says, and laughs. "But all in the name of science."

The work here isn't glorious. And it can be dangerous. But a lot of important science on primate behavior has happened here over the years. And coming here is sort of a rite of passage for many biologists.

About 500 rhesus macaques were brought to the island from India in 1938, Rawlins says, and that was a mission with a lot of challenges. About 50 monkeys died at sea during a 47-day voyage. And the scientists didn't really know how to set up the island before the monkeys arrived.

The researchers planted fruit trees at first, but that didn't work out too well.

Feeding time on the island. Anders Kelto/NPR hide caption

Feeding time on the island.

By the time the monkeys got to the island, Rawlins says, they had been eating hulled rice for 47 days. They instantly "went over and vaporized all of the stuff that had been planted."

So scientists had to feed the monkeys. But for long stretches of time, there was no money. Many animals died of starvation and malnutrition. But, Rawlins says, a few dedicated researchers helped the colony survive.

Caraballo-Cruz, the monkey census taker, says the colony faces a different threat today: "People coming on the island without permission and having tuberculosis or having any illnesses that they can transmit to the monkeys."

She says people sometimes sneak tourists onto the island. And fishermen come here to catch crabs. Caraballo-Cruz says, if those visitors transmit a disease to the macaques, it would move incredibly quickly through the colony, and could wipe it out. And on top of the risk to the monkeys, she says, these people are putting their own lives at risk.

However, despite the danger to macaques and human visitors, researchers can't legally prevent people from coming ashore.

"The problem we have," Caraballo-Cruz explains, "is that anything the water touches is public property."

The government of Puerto Rico has proposed a bill that would make the island a private research facility open only to scientists, she says. But the bill hasn't yet passed. So the researchers just keep hoping that everyone – monkeys and humans — stay healthy.

Correction July 16, 2015

In the audio of this story, the person identified as Angelina Ruiz-Lambides is in fact Giselle Caraballo-Cruz. The text on this page has been corrected.

• Puerto Rico
• rhesus monkeys
• animal behavior
• Laboratory of Comparative Ethology

Unfrosted wastes a promising premise and cast on the dated comedy of Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld has become the internet's new anti-woke warrior during the press tour for his new movie Unfrosted: The Pop-Tart Story — a parody of the recent influx of random product bio-pics (looking at you, Hot Cheetos movie ).

In a recent interview with The New Yorker , Seinfeld blamed the lack of quality television comedy on the "extreme left" and their "PC crap". Ironic, considering that almost all of the comedy in Unfrosted comes in the form of softball, toothless jokes about cereal and the 60s.

Unfrosted purports to tell the origin story of the Pop-Tart, and the fierce moon-landing-race style competition between two cereal companies — Kellogg's and Post.

That's the first thing to note: If you're not hip with the names and lore of many, many American brands then you either need to brush up on your Keebler Elves and Chef Boyardee or accept a good chunk of jokes are gonna rush right over your Aussie head.

Seinfeld not only wrote and directed Unfrosted, but he also stars in the film as Bob Cabana, a 1960s ideas man that works at the right hand of Edsel Kellogg III (Jim Gaffigan,) the hapless heir and boss to the Kellogg's cereal empire.

Across the road — just within comically-big-binocular-peeping-distance — is Marjorie Post (Amy Schumer), the real-life Post Baroness that we have to thank for Mar-a-lago . She's flanked by her assistant/punching bag Rick Ludwin (Max Greenfield, pulling in some excellent slapstick).

The Kellogg crew are comfortable in their place on top, until they get wind that their enemies are working on a pastry that will revolutionise the breakfast industry. And so the breakfast space race begins, literally: Bob's first stop is to pick up former Kellogg's revolutionary Donna Stankowski (Melissa McCarthy), who's stuffing twinkies into tubes for NASA astronauts (cue obligatory joke about the moon landing being fake).

From here it's a whirlwind run of loosely connected, lightning-fast scenes that are more concerned with high-profile cameos than creating a coherent story or any character substance.

One second our protagonists are introducing a team of "experts'' to help them crack the Pop-Tart code — and in quick succession we meet James Marsden, Jack McBrayer, Thomas Lennon, Bobby Moynihan and Adrian Martinez as various reality-adjacent US industrial luminaries.

Next we're jetting off to Puerto Rico to meet with sugar baron El Sucre (Felix Solis) and his puppeteer Tony Hale (I think the character gets a name, but the cameo is so quick it's hard to register).

Then we're in Russia with Marj and Rick to convince mumble-mouthed Kremlin leader Nikita Khrushchev (Breaking Bad's Dean Norris) and his assistant/translator (Maria Bakalova) to sell them Red sugar. He'll do it, but only if Marj sleeps with him (yawn/eyeroll).

There are several B,C and D stories that float disconnectedly around the Pop-Tart race. The best of which is a surreal subplot involving Thomas Lennon's maybe-Nazi sea monkey inventor and Bobby Moynihan's cartoonishly Italian Chef Boyardee creating and eventually raising a sentient ravioli.

These short scenes and the few others like it — including some tough-talking, dumpster-diving children that deliver their dialogue infinitely better than Seinfeld — are so wonderfully absurd, it's deflating that the rest of the film is happy doing a woeful Airplane! imitation.

Which brings us to this movie's January 6th parody. It all starts with Bob blowing off Tony the Tiger actor Thurl Ravenscroft (Hugh Grant, playing the pompous-actor-stuck-in-a-demeaning-role bit that he did MUCH better in Paddington 2).

Ravenscroft eventually gets so fed up with the disrespect that he rallies all the other cereal mascots to march on the Kellogg's headquarters.

Before you say, "Seems like a long stretch to connect that to Jan 6", this riot just happens to occur on the day that an FDA official (Fred Armisen) is coming by to "certify" Pop-Tarts into production. Ravenscroft at one point literally says "We have to stop the certification!" while dressed in a Tony the Tiger version of the horned 'Qanon Shamen', who became one of the lasting images of the US insurrection .

We're treated to a multi-minute scene where colourful mascots scale the Kellogg building in a similar way Trump supporters scurried up the walls of Capitol Hill (despite there being stairs round the corner).

Is this the edgy, un-PC comedy that Seinfeld says the extreme left is trying to keep down? Cause the Always Sunny gang did a smarter and funnier Jan 6 parody all the way back in 2021.

Not only is the Jan 6 stuff clumsily executed, it's also wildly disconnected from a film where the worst case scenario is getting farted on by a cow.

Between the laundry list of celeb cameos (seriously, I haven't even mentioned half of them) and the era-specific original soundtrack, it's safe to say Netflix probably spent a big chunk of change on this movie.

One can only imagine what could have been achieved if Unfrosted were in the hands of any modern comedy makers — like The Lonely Island boys, who have had ample success delivering meta-textual, cameo-laden satire and surreal, silly, developed characters .

But alas, the guy that wasn't even the funniest part of his own sitcom is in charge, which means we get multiple jokes about former US President Taft (who died in 1930) and a full five-minute Mad Men parody (which finished almost a decade ago).

Unfrosted, on paper, is such a fun and needed concept in an era where it seems every product needs an origin story (still talking about you, Hot Cheetos film, WHY were you at the Oscars ??).

But after watching, I'm left to dream of the unique, fresh bowl of fruit-flavoured loops we could have chowed down on. In Seinfeld's hands all we're left with is an overstuffed bowl of stale cornflakes.

Unfrosted is streaming on Netflix now.

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